Do Men or Women mostly currently dominate in marriages or relationships

Serenity4321

Serenity4321

Senior Member
Location
Florida
For years men dominated because women had little power and opportunity to be independent. I think that is changing. The extreme is demonstrated in the portrayal in ads of men as weaklings needing a woman to save them. Perhaps this is all just a swinging of the pendulum from a patriarchal society to a more balanced one?
How was your relationship?
 

My husband and I, a few months before his sudden death, were discussing whether either one of us would remarry if the other were to..........

We both yelled, in unison!!! "NO! I'll never let anyone Boss me around again!!" I was so flattered that he said I bossed him around.
 

My relationships have pretty much been balanced even stevens.
Sometimes, if I felt weak about something or a situation, I needed to lean in and feel safe or protected, bit like wrapping a comfort blanket around feeling. I still retain that feeling that 'males protect' even tho' that can be far from true. Perhaps it's the child in me coming out.
 
My girl friend and I have a partnership. I believe in equality. She is good in certain things and I am good in other certain things.

However, when she asked me if I wanted to go with her to that new movie, "BARBIE" I said ABSOLUTELY NO! I do not care to follow any sort of media trend or anything the media is shoving down my throat. At my age, 77, I have earned the right not to follow the weekly hype what what is "in" on the media. Far as I am concerned, "Barbie" is in this week and it will be out next week as the media will be pushing something else. They always do.

Last movie I watched was "Billy the Kid verus Dracula." That's silly you say? Sure! But really not more silly than Barbie!
 

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I think that young men have come a long way, now they are more equal parties in making/taking care of a home and being involved with children more. I came up when those things fell to the wife for the most part.

I also worked full time. My son saw this growing up. Somehow he took some of that to heart and is a full partner in marriage and family. He makes me very proud.
 
I don't have a strong feeling toward equality - I just think you're equal in a marriage, and that's how it should be.

I grew up in a house with a dominant, sometimes violent, father. I learned how to "be a man" from him. I lost my only true love because, essentially, I was a complete asshole (not violent, thank God, but way too bossy). That was many moons ago now. I have come to recognize that if you love someone for who they are, then they need to have space to be that person. If a partner wants to go out on her own to a show or dance club, fine. Opposing views are fine, agree to disagree. etc.

I can't criticize a woman for not being able to fix the car - *I* can't fix the car. I mean, who am I kidding? I'm not a handy guy around the house. I'm pretty much useless when I come to think of it.

I'll say this though. With more time in the rear view mirror than I have in front, I just want to be happy, and for those around me to be happy. Nothing more. Few rules. No lectures or demands. Someone wants to be with you, or they don't. If they don't, you let them go. All the fight has gone out of me, and that's a good thing. Relationships shouldn't be about dominating anything/one. I'd much prefer to hold hands and listen to music.

BUT - before I pretend I'm some cool, calm, and collected individual, well adjusted and always equitable, I have my one flaw. Music. I know what I want to listen to, and when I want to hear it. I other words, I control the turntable. :D
 
No one was the boss in our marriage, we didn't tell each other what to do, were partners. No matter what, we always stepped up for each other. I wouldn't have it any other way. I would've stepped in front of a bullet for that man.
 
When my significant other was employed, I looked after the house. I bought the groceries, cleaned the house, cooked meals, looked after the dogs and did all the gardening and yard work.

Since heā€™s retired, heā€™s controls everything.
Itā€™s made me realize that I never really knew my husband until he retired.
 
Packerjohn said:
My girl friend and I have a partnership. I believe in equality. She is good in certain things and I am good in other certain things.

However, when she asked me if I wanted to go with her to that new movie, "BARBIE" I said ABSOLUTELY NO! I do not care to follow any sort of media trend or anything the media is shoving down my throat. At my age, 77, I have earned the right not to follow the weekly hype what what is "in" on the media. Far as I am concerned, "Barbie" is in this week and it will be out next week as the media will be pushing something else. They always do.

Last movie I watched was "Billy the Kid verus Dracula." That's silly you say? Sure! But really not more silly than Barbie!
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I think many men would agree with you. However, if you want to know how women feel about their 'place' in this world, I was told by 40 yr olds we should see it when it comes out on DVDs. That is what I plan to do...
 
The generational model was different in my Fatherā€™s day when women definitely had fewer options, and were generally expected to stay at home, manage the household, and rear children while men worked to provide income. Gender roles were even reinforced in school curriculums, with boys in my area and time taking ā€œShopā€ and girls taking ā€œHome Economics.ā€ I learned to use tools to make crooked bookcases and ugly lamps, while females learned more useful things, like meal preparation and clothing repair. The assumption back then was that a male would always be able to find a compliant female who would hasten to make them a mealā€¦not true! Many guys as a result grew up unable to open cans or boil water, tragically cooking-impairedā€¦

Today, the possibility at least exists for control balance in a marriage, although it remains for couples to fight out the incidentalsā€¦
 
Fyrefox said:
The generational model was different in my Fatherā€™s day when women definitely had fewer options, and were generally expected to stay at home, manage the household, and rear children while men worked to provide income. Gender roles were even reinforced in school curriculums, with boys in my area and time taking ā€œShopā€ and girls taking ā€œHome Economics.ā€ I learned to use tools to make crooked bookcases and ugly lamps, while females learned more useful things, like meal preparation and clothing repair. The assumption back then was that a male would always be able to find a compliant female who would hasten to make them a mealā€¦not true! Many guys as a result grew up unable to open cans or boil water, tragically cooking-impairedā€¦

Today, the possibility at least exists for control balance in a marriage, although it remains for couples to fight out the incidentalsā€¦
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...and many women grew up not knowing how to wire a plug, change a lightbulb... or change a washer ...

I hated cooking and especially sewing at school.. and ultimately was horrible at it... I yearned to be in woodwork class or motor mechanics.. but it wasn't permitted
 
Serenity4321 said:
For years men dominated because women had little power and opportunity to be independent. I think that is changing. The extreme is demonstrated in the portrayal in ads of men as weaklings needing a woman to save them. Perhaps this is all just a swinging of the pendulum from a patriarchal society to a more balanced one?
How was your relationship?
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I think your first sentence of why men dominated women is not correct. Growing up in the 1950's, I knew many women who were housewives who clearly dominated in their marriages.

Dominance has many styles, too. Some loudly demanded. Some quietly herded.

As a man raised in the 1950's it always seemed to me the formula worked this way: We fell in love with them (women). And, thereafter did what they wanted because we loved them.

But, I was always single and didn't date much. I feel much less manipulated than most. I've always liked it that way.
 
We've all heard the saying..... 'The pen is mightier than the sword' ....... well, I have met more than a few ladies whose tongues are sharper that razors, and lungs that allow them to talk constantly for 6 hours without taking in air, so with this in mind, I usually steer well clear of engaging in arguments with them, and, if a lady hones in on me with those blazing eyes that ladies have, I offer them a licorice allsort. šŸ˜Š
 
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