Do we become more or less tolerant with age?

feywon

feywon

Well-known Member
Location
Rural North Central NM
Sparked by something said on another thread--that we tend to get 'our panties in a twist easier" as we age. i don't think that's true of all seniors. i think some of us learn to let stuff slide unless it is really important to us somehow. i guess i could create a 'poll' but i'd rather y'all just share your thoughts

Of course a lot depends on what exactly we're talking about getting 'hot' about:
A difference in interests, tastes, perspectives? Heck one of things i enjoy about cybertalk is the varying POVs---sometimes even ones i disgaree with can create an interesting train of thought.
or
How we talk to each other? Here again i recognize that some people will be more blunt, (which can feel rude to the one on receiving end of it), or snarky which not every one may receive well, and some people have trouble understanding plain sarcasm--but you can't expect people who barely know you to know when you're being sarcastic.

We have so many options of threads to spend our time on here, why do some seem to go looking for things to complain about and they often are the ones that initiate few threads? Are they the ones that create stick the rest of us oldsters with the stereotype of being curmudgeonly?

For myself my values haven't changed much since youth--but unless the talk or behaviors are harmful to living beings---i'm more tolerant of those with different values than mine. Tho they may end up on mental ignore.

And i have to laugh at the phrase 'panties in a twist' because as i aged and got more tolerant--i also stopped wearing actual panties unless in a skirt or dress. So my physical need for comfort kind of reflected my decreasing concern about minor issues with other people. As i wanted to remind myself that if it quickly won't matter to me at all--why get upset. Most of the time i have no panties to get twisted.

Take this and run with it, could be fun.
 

I think I'm more tolerant when it comes to empathy and being kind to others, especially if they are dealing with issues I may or may not fully understand. But a whole lot less tolerent when someone tries to shove their own ideals down my gullet, tries to control/manipulate a situation to make it go their way, or mocks others for having different opinions or values.
 
Sometimes itā€™s hard to know if someone is trying to be funny or just being mean.

I think itā€™s best to give them the benefit of the doubt.

With age, most become more tolerant. Except a few just cranky ones. (I say that with love)šŸ˜Š

Sometimes itā€™s hard to be kind when you are in pain or going through something difficult, or feel misunderstood.

I love the sayings:
Out of the mouth the heart speaks.

If someoneā€™s heart is broken or hurt or in pain from past or present they are more more apt to write something hurtful.

But if someoneā€™s heart is on the mend and they are feeling well about themselves and their circumstances they are more apt to write with kindness and be more tolerable to others.

šŸ’•
 
feywon said:
Sparked by something said on another thread--that we tend to get 'our panties in a twist easier" as we age. i don't think that's true of all seniors. i think some of us learn to let stuff slide unless it is really important to us somehow. i guess i could create a 'poll' but i'd rather y'all just share your thoughts

Of course a lot depends on what exactly we're talking about getting 'hot' about:
A difference in interests, tastes, perspectives? Heck one of things i enjoy about cybertalk is the varying POVs---sometimes even ones i disgaree with can create an interesting train of thought.
or
How we talk to each other? Here again i recognize that some people will be more blunt, (which can feel rude to the one on receiving end of it), or snarky which not every one may receive well, and some people have trouble understanding plain sarcasm--but you can't expect people who barely know you to know when you're being sarcastic.

We have so many options of threads to spend our time on here, why do some seem to go looking for things to complain about and they often are the ones that initiate few threads? Are they the ones that create stick the rest of us oldsters with the stereotype of being curmudgeonly?

For myself my values haven't changed much since youth--but unless the talk or behaviors are harmful to living beings---i'm more tolerant of those with different values than mine. Tho they may end up on mental ignore.

And i have to laugh at the phrase 'panties in a twist' because as i aged and got more tolerant--i also stopped wearing actual panties unless in a skirt or dress. So my physical need for comfort kind of reflected my decreasing concern about minor issues with other people. As i wanted to remind myself that if it quickly won't matter to me at all--why get upset. Most of the time i have no panties to get twisted.

Take this and run with it, could be fun.
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Iā€™m actually quite blunt and sarcastic and probably come across as snarky. Iā€™m also known to stir the pot at times. Iā€™m not actively looking for subjects to be offended about but when I do feel offended I can get obsessed about it and have a hard time letting go.

Strangely enough the things I want to comment on most are quite often subjects Iā€™m triggered by. Now I seek threads that offer peace & comfort instead of diving straight into pure chaos. Iā€™m learning to discipline myself. Sometimes Iā€™m successful, sometimes Iā€™m not. Itā€™s a learned skill and Iā€™m very much a student still.
 
Balzac said:
I try to be more tolerant these days but don't always achieve it. I ws raised by parents who were extremely set in their ways and it took a long time to shake off their influence
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i was fortunate, my parents were more open and accepting of differences in culture, faith etc. Dad in particular was adamant about the wrongness of bigotry. So i was influenced by my folks greatly too.
 
squatting dog said:
I'm less tolerant, because either I'm suddenly getting smarter, (not likely), or people keep getting stupider.
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While i think you've got good sense and should NOT (edit just noticed i didn't add the "shouldn't" as intended so want to make my original thought clear) discount your smarts, many people are definitely getting stupider.
 
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Warrigal said:
Definitely more tolerant now. While I have not often walked a mile in other people's moccasins, I have certainly tried them on and understanding allows tolerance to grow.
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For sure, walk a mile in their shoes...... That way, you'll be a mile away by the time they realize you're not coming back, and pursuit will be hard when they're barefoot. :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:
 
While every situation is different, I would have to say overall I am more tolerant. I have come to realize that most people are fighting some sort of battle in their life, whether it be financial, health, jobb stress, relationship, past turmoil, mental issues, or whatever.
I have also come to realize that I have food in the refrig, a roof over my head, a comfortable bed, good health, and I want for nothing. Nine out of ten people in the world don't have that, so I feel very blessed, and the least I can do is tolerate some of the behavior I used to exhibit when I was younger. Everyone is ignorant until they are not anymore.
 
oldaunt said:
Most things really don't matter at the end of the day, so what's the fuss? You aren't likely to go hungry or something if someone annoys you on the internet.
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That's generally my attitude.

I actually found it funny when keyboard warriors thought they could shut me up (stop posting facts) with threats during last two national election cycles. I've been physically in harms way more than once in my life for the sake of my principles and they think some trash talk on the web is going to scare me? That's funny!
 
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