Do you argue or avoid arguments at all costs, ("you know where I stand"!)

Yes I do avoid arguments. I hate conflict. I will use my brother's wife is an example. She'll try to start an argument by saying something punitive or hurtful. She loves conflict. Another example are my oldest son's in-laws. They will disagree with anything he says in order to create an argument. I don't care for any of these people and spend as little time around them as possible.
 

Human behavior is such in our society and culture that there are significant numbers of people that because of those they have interacted with through their lives, cannot discuss much of anything without being emotional and further, tend not to be aware others are perceiving them so. Thus the person among others at say a lunch meeting where people are trivially relating what color of shirts they prefer that takes emotional offense to another that merely reflects they personally don't like green shirts the former likes. Something most would listen to ho hum. Personally I limit discussion with too emotional others. It can also be futile engaging in debate with another that does not have the knowledge background to understand what one is trying to communicate.

Anyone that has worked in corporate team work environments learns to approach discussions professionally quietly without emotional responses or won't last. However there are many who were brought up from emotional parents with emotional siblings, emotional playmates, and then as adult were in anything goes blue collar work environments. Being able to productively discuss with others differences in ideas or understandings is a valuable interpersonal communication skill. Oh yeah one thing more, the word "argument" as used by many has been narrowly corrupted in casual conversations to mean an emotional debate. It is more broadly a reason or set of reasons given with the aim of persuading others that an action or idea is right or wrong, correct or not.
 
Judycat said:
Yes I do avoid arguments. I hate conflict. I will use my brother's wife is an example. She'll try to start an argument by saying something punitive or hurtful. She loves conflict. Another example are my oldest son's in-laws. They will disagree with anything he says in order to create an argument. I don't care for any of these people and spend as little time around them as possible.
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There can be "surprises" waiting in store for you at parties/Christmas parties I've found.

As a youngish man I attended some parties given by my future wife's aunts and uncles. The surprising bit was the way her young cousins behaved towards one another when all the parents were out of the room, or earshot, (in these supposedly very religious families their bad language used towards one another shocked me!).

If I had been a lot wiser than I was I might have realised my future wife had sides to her character I wasn't aware of, though she was an atheist, (come to think of it I wasn't sure of that when I married her!). She on the otherhand spoke of differences she could see between her family and my own, (my parents argued all the time, but as my wife acknowledged, "At least everything was out in the open in your family").
 
I have better things to do with my time than argue. All it accomplishes is to raise my blood pressure and give me a headache.

I would like to hash out a few things with the hubby now and then. He will walk away and come back as if the argument never occurred.
That's how I got the high blood pressure to begin with.
 
Judycat said:
Yes I do avoid arguments. I hate conflict. I will use my brother's wife is an example. She'll try to start an argument by saying something punitive or hurtful. She loves conflict. Another example are my oldest son's in-laws. They will disagree with anything he says in order to create an argument. I don't care for any of these people and spend as little time around them as possible.
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Sounds like my sister. I haven't seen her in 20 years or talked to her in nearly that long. She's a nasty person, although she puts on this façade of a sweet, generous person. She's a frickin' sociopath! I almost put a laughing emoji here, but there's nothing funny about it. She's the only immediate family I have in the world. I don't even know if she's still alive, but I don't want her in my life. The nastiness goes all the way back to when we were little kids.
 
In business, I used to argue with colleagues in meetings about topics that I was passionate about. Now that I'm retired, I have very little appetite for it. Besides, most of my friends have similar viewpoints.

I did have a very interesting encounter on a plane last Friday. A woman sat down next to me. She was very vocal with the flight attendant about her disappointment with the airline. I thought "no way I'm engaging with her". We ended up chatting for the full 2 hours of the flight, and although we disagreed on many political topics we also agreed on many other topics. We never argued about anything because I was interested in hearing why she believed what she believed. I am always interested in what makes someone else "tick".

We found common ground. Even though we are worlds apart in our opinions, she asked me to text her so we could keep in touch. 👍
 
oldpop said:
Arguing is a waste of time and effort but I still find myself in the middle of one from time to time.
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Even if you try you surely can't avoid all arguments, and whilst I do completely acknowledge the futility of arguing with those who in the end state, "I was only winding you up", (as so many of the waste of space guys and girls so often do!), it is true if you're like me at least, there are times when we do say things, (/controversial things), to provoke a reaction of some kind!

However I'd "argue" this is far from doing your damnedist to tread on someone's corns, especially when whatever you've said is only in fun, and you're not harping on endlessly about something! :)
 
Men arguing with men, possible outcome, split lips and broken noses. 😠

Women arguing with women, possible outcome, clawmarks in the face and possible new hairstyles. 😠

Man and wife arguing, outcome, making up and a romp in bed. :love: 🥰

But, there are some people. men or women, that could have an argument on their own in an empty room. 😊
 
timoc said:
Men arguing with men, possible outcome, split lips and broken noses. 😠

Women arguing with women, possible outcome, clawmarks in the face and possible new hairstyles. 😠

Man and wife arguing, outcome, making up and a romp in bed. :love: 🥰

But, there are some people. men or women, that could have an argument on their own in an empty room. 😊
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You've met my mother then? :rolleyes:🤣
 
Judycat said:
There is a difference between a discussion and an argument too. Even the sound of the word argument denotes a twisting of the insides.
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I didn't know the word "argument" had that derivation! :)
Judycat said:
There is a difference between a discussion and an argument too. Even the sound of the word argument denotes a twisting of the insides.
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Its worth bearing in mind some people, (to use one of my mothers phrases), "seem to like to hear the sound of their own voice"! :)
 
grahamg said:
I didn't know the word "argument" had that derivation! :)

Its worth bearing in mind some people, (to use one of my mothers phrases), "seem to like to hear the sound of their own voice"! :)
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I don't know if the word actually has that derivation. It just sounds like it does to me.
 
Judycat said:
I don't know if the word actually has that derivation. It just sounds like it does to me.
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I get you, so "cause not effect" as it were:)unsure: ?).

Here is the derivation of the word "argument" btw, according to a quick internet search):

"Middle English (in the sense ‘process of reasoning’): via Old French from Latin argumentum, from arguere ‘make clear, prove, accuse’."

Here are some more facts we may not all be aware of concerning the use of the word "argument":

Quote:
"What are the 3 types of arguments?

So perhaps it is not unfair to say that at least in (1996), Walton recognizes three basic types of arguments: deductive, inductive, and presumptive".

This link says there are four types though:
Different Types Of Arguments: Deductive And Inductive Arguments
  • Type 1: Deductive Arguments.
  • Type 2: Inductive Arguments.
  • Type 3: Toulmin Argument.
  • Type 4: Rogerian Argument.

More on type 3 above:
What are the six elements of the argument model?

Toulmin, the Toulmin method is a style of argumentation that breaks arguments down into six component parts: claim, grounds, warrant, qualifier, rebuttal, and backing.
 
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