Do you believe unconditional love is real?

Well, I'm a sucker for a good game of philosophical tennis, so if I may be permitted to dance on the razor's edge for a bit:
The example of unconditional love is presented as the love a parent has for a child, no matter what they have done. However, doesn't the requirement of them being your child make it conditional by definition. The bond is tethered and anchored to the relationship. Would that same love extend to a stranger, no matter what they have done or even if they are barbaric. Would it be indiscriminate?

Perhaps it gives rise to the larger question: Could love even exist without a reason? Doesn't love always arise from some sort of connection and interaction. Perhaps love without reason is an ideal to strive for, but we may be hopelessly held back by the gravity of the human condition. So even in the most generous philosophical accounts, love is responsive. It’s not random or causeless.

Does universal love exist in the truest form without conditions, probably not, at least not in the way we typically define human love.
Nevertheless, it's a concept we can admire, and strive for, but not one we can fully embody.

So what does this mean: Perhaps the beauty of love lies in it's imperfection. The inherent flaws are not to be fixed, because it's the texture that gives it meaning (Forgiveness empathy growth, etc...). Even if it doesn't exist, it can still be an impossibility worth striving for.
 

I can tell you when and how I opened my heart to the possibility.
I was reading of Jesus in Gethsemane. Of the pain he went through and I actually cried
reading it. Had to stop and start over a few times. After I was done reading I sat and thought.
How can I ever say anything in this world hurt me as much as he hurt? He took on the sin and pain
of all mankind in hours of torment and still, he forgave. Can anyone in this world harm me
greater than that? How can I ever say my pain is more than that, that I can not forgive?
Personally, I can't. But I can love as near as I can, as he did.

For some this may mean nothing, it doesn't matter to me. All I can do is testify to how I got
to my beliefs, my feelings and how I came about them. If this helps anyone, thank Him not me.
If not, it does not change my caring for each of you, we are all unique in our own ways and yes
I accept that and respect it. I fought myself to say this and I will not comment any further.
I do believe those who needed to hear it will and understand what I am saying..
 
I don't deny that unconditional love is real between people. But I will say, in the real world, to many/most people, money/power/status is overwhelming more important than "love", let alone " unconditional love".
 
Yes, people love their pets, their children, their grandchildren, hopefully without reservation so, I guess that is unconditional.

I would consider unconditional love between adults unhealthy because, I believe that relationships should be based on respect which is, of course a condition. Without mutual respect, without the fundamental requirement for honesty, care and love how can it be unconditional? Someone who loves without boundaries is, I think, someone who may have no self-worth; they love but do not expect to be loved.

When people talk of unconditional love, I think of those people we read about, might even sometimes meet, who stay in abusive relationships because they love the person. I don't know if that is the sort of unconditional love people mean when they talk about love without boundaries. 🤷‍♀️
 
That Lady in PA said:
Nope. That is trauma bonding or Stockholm syndrome, maybe with some limerence and/or co-dependency thrown in... quite different IMHO than unconditional love.
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Yep, I define it differently than you.

I define unconditional love as You have my devotion with no conditions; I'll love you no matter what; I have no boundaries in matters of love.

Nertz to that.
 
Trish said:
Yes, people love their pets, their children, their grandchildren, hopefully without reservation so, I guess that is unconditional.
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No, you hit the nail on the head with the word "reservation." Without reservation is not the same as unconditional.

I knew I loved Michelle without reservation, no doubt or hesitation. So, I had to get to know her, right? And that's where conditions come in. If it turned out she wasn't who I hoped she was, we'd have been done. (emotionally 😜 )
 
Murrmurr said:
Yep, I define it differently than you.

I define unconditional love as You have my devotion with no conditions; I'll love you no matter what; I have no boundaries in matters of love.

Nertz to that.
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Yes. When I read your response I couldn't help but think of Bob Dylan's lyrics in, "It Ain't Me Babe"

Go away from my window
Leave at your own chosen speed
I'm not the one you want, babe
I'm not the one you need
You say you're looking for someone
Who's never weak but always strong
To protect you and defend you
Whether you are right or wrong
Someone to open each and every door

[Refrain]
But it ain't me, babe
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe
It ain't me you're looking for, babe

Go lightly from the ledge, babe
Go lightly on the ground
I'm not the one you want, babe
I will only let you down
You say you're looking for someone
Who will promise never to part
Someone to close his eyes for you
Someone to close his heart
Someone who will die for you and more

When it comes to having those kinds of conditions imposed on love, like Bob, it just wasn't and still ain't me, babe.
 
George1959 said:
"No matter what". Now imagine that your son was a serial killer as Ted Bundy. Would you still love him after what he had done?
If you answer this with 'yes', I'd say this is in fact unconditional love.
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I believe I would still love him, tho - as I mentioned - I would obviously NOT be OK with his actions.
I'm sure I would wonder what in the heck I did wrong!!!!!!!
 
MACKTEXAS said:
Or suppose he (or she) tried to kill one or both of his (her) own parents, and the only thing that stopped it was police intervention. In my case, this isn't hypothetical.
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My goodness, I am so sorry to hear this. I can not imagine.... In all honesty, if my child tried to kill me - I am not sure how I would feel.... so maybe there is no such thing as unconditional love... I'd like to think I would still love them, but again - not agree with their choices.... but I can't say that for sure - having never gone thru it.

🤗
 
CaliS said:
if my child tried to kill me - I am not sure how I would feel.... so maybe there is no such thing as unconditional love... I'd like to think I would still love them, but again - not agree with their choices.... but I can't say that for sure - having never gone thru it.
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You would go through many mixed emotions for a long time . . . years. Part of you would hope for better days ahead, and you would try to be understanding, and put it behind you, but when / if that person persisted to be pure evil and self centered, and capable of harming others without remorse, and never changed for the better, you may not find that you had much love left, and you would be looking over your shoulder, afraid to even be in the same house with them.

I can't really say you would do all that, I can only tell you how it was with me. Feelings were still there, but they were not what they should be, and I'm fairly sure they could not* be defined as love. [I just now noticed I was writing in the past tense about love. That says a whole lot right there.]

*Edited to correct omitted word.
 
At Marriage Encounter I was introduced to a couple of concepts about love.

One was that love is not a feeling because feelings arise spontaneously according to some outer stimulus. Love is what we choose to do in response to our feelings.

I'll give you an example of something that clarified this concept for me.

One night Hubby came home from a drinking session with some mates and he was very drunk. He had great difficulty taking off his trousers, much to my amusement. Wearing only his singlet and scungies he collapsed into bed and passed out.

Later I came to bed and he was snoring loudly. Irritating, but I still managed to fall asleep.

Sleep didn't last long because I was woken by the noise of him vomiting in the bed and on the carpet.

Was I feeling loving at that point?

No way! I was disgusted with him, but I stripped the bed, sponged the carpet and covered the wet area with a towel intending to do a more thorough job in the morning. I spent the rest of the night on the lounge.

I wasn't happy with him but still I cared for the idiot because I chose to love him even in that state.

Next morning I confess that I did punish him by cooking him a rather greasy hot breakfast.

Unconditional love is something different.

It is love that is freely given, asking nothing in return. It can be an old man or woman caring for a spouse who has become an invalid, unable to care for themselves and who has turned into a needy, whining shadow of the person they married long ago. They demonstrate their love by asking nothing in return for the way they sacrifice their own needs to meet those of someone else. The carer may feel frustration, fatigue and resentment but if they continue to serve the needs of their partner, absorbing complaints and even abuse, then that is what unconditional love looks like. Though often misunderstood, it flows from a heart that is steadfast and noble.
 
LadyEmeraude said:
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Yes.

The question is - is it inexhaustible?

You all know my story. I'd never have chosen this reality. But I work every day to accept it. I committed. So I must see it through. I'm sure my wife would say the same.
 

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