Do you believe you did "better" than your parents?

My parents were a product of their generation, in particular the Great Depression. But they managed to do well and stay out of debt. They were good, honest, hard-working people who raised three great children. I have done better than my parents financially, but so what? We all end up in the same place.
 

They both had private demons.....to do with low self value.....that they never resolved, never really looked at and responded to.
Instead they reacted by trying to discredit other people to gain some illusion of self validation.
They became deliberately spiteful and both died unhappy.

Knowing them was a long series of instructive lessons.
I'm no paradigm of mental health, but I do know to look into my own shadow zone.
 
Yes, maybe not financially but in learning how to enjoy life, definitely.

My father was a worrier who was obsessed with work even after he retired. He had no outside interests and was constantly depressed. My mother had low self-esteem, had no outside interests and became clinically depressed as she got older. Although I loved them, they had a dysfunctional marriage. He was a controller. She had always been sheltered and was willing to be controlled.

I learned lots of life lessons from them. I don't worry, I am happily retired and, although I've had depression, I got help for it and it hasn't been an issue for years. I have had a happy partnership/marriage for over 30 years where we are equals.
 

No, I never had the struggles she faced or had the courage, strength or sense of adventure she had. Truth be told she was amazing. My father died at 36 of a heart attack so I have nothing in memory about him. My mom made sure we got to spend time with my grandparents growing up and I am forever grateful for that.

We did not grow up with money, we did have an average home, never went hungry and I had a very good childhood. My Mom lived until she was 90. She had a very good retirement, she worked hard, and did not know anyone named Jones. She had an incoming retirement that was greater than mine right now. Having a good life, a happy life is not always about the money part. It is about having a good marriage, raising good kids (if you chose to have children), having a close extended family, having friends. and good health. She is the reason I am okay now, she showed me the way.
 

Do you believe you did "better" than your parents?​

That is hard to say. My parents worked hard everyday. They enjoyed their life from what I could see. They lived comfortably and were able to take a 2 week vacation every year. They retired at an early age and kept busy enjoying themselves until their end. I am sure they felt they had done a good job for themselves and I think so too.

I on the other hand I had what I call epiphany around the age of eighteen and decided I would not be a slave to money. Thing is in this world as it is you have to have money to survive so I became a minimalist. All I wanted from life was to enjoy it and be comfortable living it. I was fortunate because I had a profession that allowed me to get work just about anywhere I went. I took advantage of that.

I would work hard for a while and then I would move on. I traveled the country on a motorcycle and worked when I needed to. I met many people and had many experiences. Some great and some not so great but it all was a learning experience. There is not much I would change. I retired in my late forties, live comfortably in the country and own a house out in the woods. So far I feel I accomplished my goals and enjoyed my life. So it is hard to say who did better. I think the main thing is my parents and I both lived happy lives. We just took different paths.
 
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NorthernLight said:
No. My father bought a home and supported his wife and children. That's much more than I could ever do.

My mother was a housewife, which is what I wanted but didn't achieve. (Not for long anyway.)

I am a huge failure, but I'm smart and not an addict. So it could have been worse.
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NorthernLight, this suits me almost 100 per cent.
 
oldpop said:

Do you believe you did "better" than your parents?​





I would work hard for a while and then I would move on. I traveled the country on a motorcycle and worked when I needed to. I met many people and had many experiences. Some great and some not so great but it all was a learning experience. There is not much I would change. I retired in my late forties, live comfortably in the country and own a house out in the woods. So far I feel accomplished my goals and enjoyed my life. So it is hard to say who did better. I think the main thing is my parents and I both lived happy lives. We just took different paths.
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You sound like "Bronson," old pop! I think you had a very cool life.
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I don't come close to doing as well as my parents. My mother was validictorian of her high school my father had an IQ of 150 and did better on the Army entrance test than anyone else in the state, (we never quit hearing about that LOL).

After the war, my father started his own business in Charleston and they built a beuatiful house in the middle of five acres of trees in West Virginia. My mother stayed home and was the perfect accomplished housewife as well as president of the PTA, Women of the Church, etc.

We had an idealic happy childhood.

Until my mother died at 72, the two of them still cuddled on the couch and held hands whereever they went. One of the waitresses at their local Bob Evans came to my mother's funeral and told me she had written an essay for school about them, she admired their marriage so much.

I, on the other hand got divorced, never made much money, pffft.
 
Della said:
You sound like "Bronson," old pop! I think you had a very cool life.
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I don't come close to doing as well as my parents. My mother was validictorian of her high school my father had an IQ of 150 and did better on the Army entrance test than anyone else in the state, (we never quit hearing about that LOL).

After the war, my father started his own business in Charleston and they built a beuatiful house in the middle of five acres of trees in West Virginia. My mother stayed home and was the perfect accomplished housewife as well as president of the PTA, Women of the Church, etc.

We had an idealic happy childhood.

Until my mother died at 72, the two of them still cuddled on the couch and held hands whereever they went. One of the waitresses at their local Bob Evans came to my mother's funeral and told me she had written an essay for school about them, she admired their marriage so much.

I, on the other hand got divorced, never made much money, pffft.
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However, you had a wonderful start in life, and with that came the confidence to know that you were loved and could go out and try whatever you wanted and still have the love of your family.. 🤗
 
hollydolly said:
However, you had a wonderful start in life, and with that came the confidence to know that you were loved and could go out and try whatever you wanted and still have the love of your family.. 🤗
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Yes; I gave up years ago wondering what that would even be like. More and more, I feel like I grew up on a different planet than some lucky others.
 
My parents were born in 1920 and lived through the depression and WW2. They were both wonderful positive people and parents. My dad loved kids and would take us places and play with us.

They were stuck in factory jobs that they didn’t like but you wouldn’t know it by their attitude. I didn’t know that until I was grown up. They were always telling us kids that we were going to college. My mom didn’t go to work until I was 12. My siblings went to college right after high school. I got married and had 3 kids and started college at 31.

My siblings have made more money because they chose business as their field and I chose human services. None of us have been lucky in the marriage department so my parents were better at that.

My parents traveled after we grew up until my dad had a massive stroke at 59 and I helped my mom care for him for 14 years. In return she watched my kids when I had college classes outside of the kids school hours. We bought the house next door and saw each other daily. We had a lot of fun during those years.

When I finished graduate school for the second time there were no jobs in my town in my career so we moved across the country. My parents encouraged me to follow my dreams and do what was best for me. I am forever grateful to them both for giving me a strong foundation and lastly wings. I always felt supported and loved.
 
hard to say,never knew my father,died in war,stepfather not a great bloke,mum was all about my sister,,so streetwise at 6,everything i got i worked for,,,,,,tried to bring my kids up better than i had,,not seen them for 20yrs,but i hear they are ok,and i get the occasional email,,,,,,,,,,,,,,yes they are better off than how i was brought up
 
My dad went from from his birth in little more than a hut on the Montana Prairie to becoming an accomplished pilot and golfer, started his own business, and died at age 89 in a nice house in Pebble Beach California. My mother,on the other hand, died at a much younger age, a victim of cigarette addiction. What did I learn from them? Save and invest, and don’t smoke! Worked for me.
 
They were poor. I was poor. Poverty binds people in a way.
They always tried to do the right thing. I did the same.
They instilled in me qualities of the heart. I tried to live that.
My Dad envisioned great things. He also heard words of angels.
but the reality of earth is the blue collar, hardworking images.
They were bound by the fears of religious doctrines whereas
I had my own spiritual belief system since I was born; completely
different from my family. They didn't understand.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
Do you believe you did "better" than your parents? It is how you define "better" and in what area you chose.
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Nope/yes/kinda

nope, they married, bought a house, had three kids. I've not married, bought a house or had kids.

Yes, I beat depression and avoided suicide.

Kinda. I was forced to retire, I'd be interested in a desk job, but not freaking out in regards to "I gotta be doing something" Mom wished she could work till Alzheimers took her mind.
 
My parents , were quite well off really , they both worked full time…..there was 5 of us….there was always food on the table , clothes on our backs, and had a holiday each year,
my dad always owned a car ……

my hubbys parents, sadly , were always in bad health, he was an only child , they never owned a car , but he was truly loved , and he loved them both, ( he was carers to both of his parents from a very early age )……
 
My father was set in this ways and unambitious. Mother always wondering what would people think of HER when I did anything, good or bad.
She always encouraged us to do well, probably so that she could take the credit. However, I found it impossible to please her, and gave up trying.
Yes, I've done a lot better than my parents. So have my siblings, although we took divergent paths through life.
 
Not better, just about equal in most ways.

When I left home, one of my thoughts was if I ever had a family, I would never put them through all the moving
and never having time to make lasting friends.

Somewhere, I must have forgotten that thought since it is exactly what I wound-up doing.

Like the title of one of my favorite Kurt Vonnegut's short stories, " Who am I this time? ".
 

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