Do you believe you did "better" than your parents?

Yes, I did better - all my siblings did, which would please our parents because that's why our grandparents emigrated to the U.S. to begin with. Of my 17 aunts/uncles only 2 got to go to college and 1 never graduated (my dad) because of Pearl Harbor; his family went into the relocation camps under Roosevelt's Executive Order 9066.

Between me and my many cousins, only 2 don't have college degrees and I think 8 or 9 of them have graduate degrees.

My parents were never able to afford to buy a home; my siblings and I all own homes. My mother was divorced and struggled to make a living - she was a maid, a housekeeper, a cook, and a waitress.

Been married for almost 50 years to my best friend and equal partner. Through most of my career I out-earned him, but then I cut back and he focused on his career as his retirement bennies were much better than mine.

I made my contribution by knowledge. I worked jobs where inadvertently, I ended up learning a great deal about finances, investing, insurance, and financial planning. We struggled at but succeeded at retirement planning, something both my and his parents were failures at, and have so far enjoyed a very successful retirement, both in satisfaction and in financial security.

Watching one's parents stress about retirement and old age was a good lesson. We didn't want to be left in that same position in our 70's and 80's. Fingers crossed; so far so good!
 

I think both sets of our parents taught us that hard work pays off .
And to saving back small amounts when we could.

We stayed in this area all our lives,, really had no desire to leave.

As out door folks we like space around us , watching the wild critters.


We presently are in a good financial situation ,, sold some property.
 

In some ways better, in some ways worse. I think in my parent’s day, there was less conspicuous consumption, and less of the ”you are what you own” mentality. My parents lived in a modest house and never upgraded from it although my father could have well afforded to. His possessions were few, and never defined who he was. I grew up thinking we were poor, whereas my father, a young man in the depression, was socking his money away in investments and bank accounts. We lived below our means, not above them.

Things today taken for granted…air conditioning everywhere in the summer, microwaves, cell phones, computers…were unknown to my parents. So I am better off materialistically, but lack the sense of safety, predictability, and national unity that more characterized their times. I’m left wondering who was really “better off…” 🤔
 
Fyrefox said:
So I am better off materialistically, but lack the sense of safety, predictability, and national unity that more characterized their times. I’m left wondering who was really “better off…” 🤔
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True; I first saw that phrase "He Who Dies with the Most Toys Wins" on a bumper sticker when I was about 15; that seemed to sum up the whole spirit of the times of where I grew up: "money, Money, MONEY!"
 
I definitely did better. My father was killed in World War II and my mother was left to raise 4 children on her own, while trying to run a business at the same time. I will always remember her strength and courage. She did much better than I in many respects, but I got the better life! Yay, Canada!
 
hollydolly said:
Yes. My mother died in her 30's.. father was abusive, and I was ordered to leave my job at 18..and keep house and raise my siblings.
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We somehow managed, it was always a struggle, did the experience impact on my siblings and I in that three of us had no kids. That became two of us when my brother and his wife discovered a little, oops, twelve years into their marriage. Only having the one, they were able to help when she was accepted into medical school. Five years later and we have a doctor in the family.

Only one of the siblings had a family, my youngest sister had three children, how ironic that her husband died young. Their children weren't very young, like ourselves, but it must have been painful. Another similarity to our own experience is that none of my sister's three children, who are all grown up and married now, have yet to make my sister a grandmother.
 
Yes, and no. I loved my parents very much and was especially close with my mom. But it was very complicated as far as all the things that went on during my childhood. I wanted to provide a steadier/safer feeling for my kids and I think my husband and I accomplished that. No screaming fights, no alcohol in the house (a personal choice for both of us). However, I did have my moments when struggling with depression that I know affected our sons. One important thing I've gained from this is that now I have a better understanding of my parents. I understand they were struggling and flawed, yet they were also courageous and good people. It's helped me understand myself a little more too.
 
YES. My parents grew up very poor (which game me a desire to do better). However, I dont think my children have chance at living as well as I have and that makes me sad.
 
Yes in way - they made sacrifices that helped us siblings - so we all achieved and had good lives but I personally believe I never helped them back enough and the only sibling that did was my younger brother. i of course regret that now as I sit at dusk watching a sunset and musing about life!
 
Yes Medusa it makes me sad - like lost girlfriends etc - but thinking about it too much can be depressive - so I shrug and say "regrets I've knowns a few............................" oops there was a title after all my apologies but I would still like it to follow me!!
 
Better in the sense that we have lived longer due to being conscious of how to improve our health. Being able to not depend on social assistance programs. Guiding our sons to be independent self reliant contributing to society. 61 years married, had my parents lived longer I'm certain they would have done as we have, weathering the various ups & downs that occur in a marriage
 
fuzzybuddy said:
Do you believe you did "better" than your parents? It is how you define "better" and in what area you chose.
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You hit the nail on the head, fuzzy. Better in what way? Whenever this question is raised it seems that money and education define better or worse for most folks.

If you stated that your folks (or you) were friendlier, more helpful to acquaintances, more honest, these might be of equal or greater value regarding humanity in general.

A person who has attained wealth by working hard would be admired but if that included taking advantage of those around him (or her) and money grubbing at every turn should that also be admired?

Sadly, it would seem as though might be true for many folks, while honesty and compassion are put on the back burner.
 

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