Do you ever find things so disturbing/upsetting that you have trouble speaking?

I've been sitting here trying to find the right words to reply to this question. I guess I just try not to let unpleasant or annoying things or situations consume me. When I was younger I know I spoke up, only because my sister used to tell me that everyone was afraid of me. :D By the way, I'm not proud of that. 🙂

I always tell myself that tmrw is a new day and things will be better. I have my medical mari jane and that helps too.
 

VintageBetter said:
From what I have read all HSPs are not necessarily Empaths, but it's probably safe to say all Empaths are also HSPs.


I took the test here several years ago: The Highly Sensitive Person and got one of her books.

Mostly I was just relived to see that the way I perceive things IS within the range of NORMAL. That, if I don't laugh at others being in pain, I'm not crazy. That is a normal reaction for an HSP.

Example, why are the "Three Stooges" perceived as funny with all the hitting they do? They are not funny to me. An HSP might say that.

I can think of other times in my life when the people I was with thought it was VERY funny to bully another, punch down, or make fun of the one in the group who just didn't understand what was going on. NONE of that was funny to me.

Then I come away from those workplaces or social gatherings thinking I'm Debbie Downer. No, I'm not Debbie Downer, but that bullying kind of "humor" is not funny to me. I think I just have a lot of empathy for the one being bullied.
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Yes you’re right. Not all highly sensitive people are empaths but all empaths ARE HSP’s, hence the reason I said that empaths are closely related.

I never liked the three stoogies either. I also never thought comedians who do those roastings very funny either.

I like comedians who generalize when telling their jokes. Picking on a group of people who do the same things that can be picked on is much safer and more considerate.

I can suddenly flip into Debbie downer like the sun setting. Fast ! lol I’m sentivie AND moody.

Try not to take yourself too seriously. Sometimes it’s hard. I tip I have is to get into what you’re doing in the present moment 100%. Present moment thinking grounds and stabilizes you.
 
Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP, is a term coined by psychologist Elaine Aron. According to Aron’s theory, HSPs are a subset of the population who are high in a personality trait known as sensory-processing sensitivity, or SPS. Those with high levels of SPS display increased emotional sensitivity, stronger reactivity to both external and internal stimuli—pain, hunger, light, and noise—and a complex inner life. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/highly-sensitive-person
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For me- no, but just off the top of my head I wonder if people prone to HSP as a class of people might overlap with the subset of people that suffer from Fibromyalgia and/or Lupus. ?
 
I have never been speechless. When you start to get too upset over world events it’s time to step back and ask what’s within your circle of control.

Worrying about things that you have no control over is just detrimental to both your physical and mental health as well as a waste of energy. You are only harming yourself.
 
I read an article that is very relevant to this thread I want share because it made so much sense to me. Our physiology is what has been affected by these traumatic events.

"
Why Are There Are No Words?

Neurobiological Impact

In the acute or immediate aftermath of traumatic events, most people don’t have a coherent story of what has happened because they have been surviving. In face of danger, our human psychobiology takes over. The right hemisphere of our brain associated with survival behaviors and emotional expression is activated and the left verbal-linguistic part of our brain is suppressed.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/int...a/202012/narrating-trauma-no-words-your-words


We become unable to imagine a coherent story for what has occurred. Finding someone who is willing to listen with patience can be of great help so we can begin to construct a story for what has happened or is happening now. We all feel timid when discussing our personal problems, but it is very important that we share and communicate to others. Friends and family are the best bets to start with, but going to a professional psychologist/psychiatrist might be what is needed.
I thought it is important to realize that we trying to find a coherent story about what happened or is happening now is very relevant. I can see how many of the things I have found very hard to talk about start making sense when I can tell a story about the situation. Finding the place and time to do so becomes the next trial. Having fear of being misunderstood or rejected will be present in unveiling the soar. It is something we must try to overcome. I have found that 9 out of 10 times people will listen and provide a sounding board for getting our story straightened out or at least out in the open so as to be understood and "normalized" with our lives.
Writing this has been difficult for me to put into words. It feels like trying to communicate stuff that is just out of reach of telling what is occurring in my brain/body.
 
Paco Dennis said:
I read an article that is very relevant to this thread I want share because it made so much sense to me. Our physiology is what has been affected by these traumatic events.

"
Why Are There Are No Words?

Neurobiological Impact

In the acute or immediate aftermath of traumatic events, most people don’t have a coherent story of what has happened because they have been surviving. In face of danger, our human psychobiology takes over. The right hemisphere of our brain associated with survival behaviors and emotional expression is activated and the left verbal-linguistic part of our brain is suppressed.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/int...a/202012/narrating-trauma-no-words-your-words


We become unable to imagine a coherent story for what has occurred. Finding someone who is willing to listen with patience can be of great help so we can begin to construct a story for what has happened or is happening now. We all feel timid when discussing our personal problems, but it is very important that we share and communicate to others. Friends and family are the best bets to start with, but going to a professional psychologist/psychiatrist might be what is needed.
I thought it is important to realize that we trying to find a coherent story about what happened or is happening now is very relevant. I can see how many of the things I have found very hard to talk about start making sense when I can tell a story about the situation. Finding the place and time to do so becomes the next trial. Having fear of being misunderstood or rejected will be present in unveiling the soar. It is something we must try to overcome. I have found that 9 out of 10 times people will listen and provide a sounding board for getting our story straightened out or at least out in the open so as to be understood and "normalized" with our lives.
Writing this has been difficult for me to put into words. It feels like trying to communicate stuff that is just out of reach of telling what is occurring in my brain/body.
Click to expand...

Sometimes something someone says will shock me to the point of speechlessness. Then I find that trying to talk about it or clarify it with them becomes more difficult as time passes. Glad to know this is considered relatively normal.
 
VintageBetter said:
From what I have read all HSPs are not necessarily Empaths, but it's probably safe to say all Empaths are also HSPs.


I took the test here several years ago: The Highly Sensitive Person and got one of her books.

Mostly I was just relived to see that the way I perceive things IS within the range of NORMAL. That, if I don't laugh at others being in pain, I'm not crazy. That is a normal reaction for an HSP.

Example, why are the "Three Stooges" perceived as funny with all the hitting they do? They are not funny to me. An HSP might say that.

I can think of other times in my life when the people I was with thought it was VERY funny to bully another, punch down, or make fun of the one in the group who just didn't understand what was going on. NONE of that was funny to me.

Then I come away from those workplaces or social gatherings thinking I'm Debbie Downer. No, I'm not Debbie Downer, but that bullying kind of "humor" is not funny to me. I think I just have a lot of empathy for the one being bullied.
Click to expand...
I'm with you and probably borderline oversensitive.
 
PeppermintPatty said:
I never liked the three stoogies either. I also never thought comedians who do those roastings very funny either.
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Not to go too far off point, but...

To be fair, rare indeed are children older than about the age of 11 who find the Stooges amusing. It's like toilet humor - little kids go through phases where poop jokes strike them as hilarious, but outgrow it as their senses of humor increase in sophistication.

I hold affection for the Stooges because they remind me of rainy summer days of yore, when my closest-in-age siblings and I gathered in front of the old black and white TV and watched their antics. Other stations played game shows - boooring, soap operas - double boring - or movies from the 1940s that also held little interest to 7 year olds.

Most children's cartoons (until very recently) relied heavily on the same type of physical humor. Roadrunner, Popeye, etc. Someone was always getting injured but bounced back five seconds later.
 
StarSong said:
Not to go too far off point, but...

To be fair, rare indeed are children older than about the age of 11 who find the Stooges amusing. It's like toilet humor - little kids go through phases where poop jokes strike them as hilarious, but outgrow it as their senses of humor increase in sophistication.

I hold affection for the Stooges because they remind me of rainy summer days of yore, when my closest-in-age siblings and I gathered in front of the old black and white TV and watched their antics. Other stations played game shows - boooring, soap operas - double boring - or movies from the 1940s that also held little interest to 7 year olds.

Most children's cartoons (until very recently) relied heavily on the same type of physical humor. Roadrunner, Popeye, etc. Someone was always getting injured but bounced back five seconds later.
Click to expand...
I was a 3 stooges LOVER! I practiced on my little brother all the time. My mother would warn me and even spank me because I kept doing stuff to him. I learned so many ways to torment the poor kid...my older brother evened the score out with me though. Now that I look back, I don't think the 3 stooges were very good role models.
 
Paco Dennis said:
I was a 3 stooges LOVER! I practiced on my little brother all the time. My mother would warn me and even spank me because I kept doing stuff to him. I learned so many ways to torment the poor kid...my older brother evened the score out with me though. Now that I look back, I don't think the 3 stooges were very good role models.
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:ROFLMAO:

Most of us didn't consider them role models. You must have been a very special child indeed!
 
StarSong said:
:ROFLMAO:

Most of us didn't consider them role models. You must have been a very special child indeed!
Click to expand...
Well THAT is what they kept telling me as they channeled my learning. But, the 3 stooges were indeed a role model for kids in 3rd grade. We had stooges gatherings at school all the time....they erupted spontaneously and lots of kids knew the moves. Our school was a regular suburbia leave it to beaver kind a place. I think most of our role models cam from TV back then. Were else could they come from. School teachers, or parents of different kids, or salesmen at the market? No we learned how to act from watching TV. :)
 
Paco Dennis said:
I read an article that is very relevant to this thread I want share because it made so much sense to me. Our physiology is what has been affected by these traumatic events.

"
Why Are There Are No Words?

Neurobiological Impact

In the acute or immediate aftermath of traumatic events, most people don’t have a coherent story of what has happened because they have been surviving. In face of danger, our human psychobiology takes over. The right hemisphere of our brain associated with survival behaviors and emotional expression is activated and the left verbal-linguistic part of our brain is suppressed.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/int...a/202012/narrating-trauma-no-words-your-words


We become unable to imagine a coherent story for what has occurred. Finding someone who is willing to listen with patience can be of great help so we can begin to construct a story for what has happened or is happening now. We all feel timid when discussing our personal problems, but it is very important that we share and communicate to others. Friends and family are the best bets to start with, but going to a professional psychologist/psychiatrist might be what is needed.
I thought it is important to realize that we trying to find a coherent story about what happened or is happening now is very relevant. I can see how many of the things I have found very hard to talk about start making sense when I can tell a story about the situation. Finding the place and time to do so becomes the next trial. Having fear of being misunderstood or rejected will be present in unveiling the soar. It is something we must try to overcome. I have found that 9 out of 10 times people will listen and provide a sounding board for getting our story straightened out or at least out in the open so as to be understood and "normalized" with our lives.
Writing this has been difficult for me to put into words. It feels like trying to communicate stuff that is just out of reach of telling what is occurring in my brain/body.
Click to expand...
I'm glad you pushed ahead with this. Thank you.
 
Yes I do. I never discuss the situation of a man my family and I trusted molesting me, not even with my best friend who knows most of my secrets. I was 21 at the time. I never told anyone because I loved my family and his too. I felt telling would have destroyed his family and brought shame on my Christian family. But I never let it define me and certainly not destroy me. In fact, I think it strengthened me. He died at a relatively young age; I think he was in his late 40s.
 
All traumatic events cause us to retreat within ourselves for self protection. It is the degree to which the need to express itself becomes the issue. We all have many scars, and wounds that we don't talk about. The ones that we hold within that cause us suffering are the tough ones. Finding the time and place to express very sensitive information is not easy to find. That is what professional counselors/doctors are for. But I also think it is important to express yourself somehow whenever we need to. It might be just a little reminder of the incident put into a conversation.

For instance a couple of very traumatic events I know some SF members are experiencing, the loss of a child, and the loss of a beloved partner. Both these are horrific, and impossible to express the grief when it first happens. Shock does that, but as we calm down there becomes a need to be comforted. Talking to others in such a manner, no matter what the subject, is appropriate. Lets say others are talking about breakfast.

In our sorrow we remember breakfast with our loved one, and say " I sure like eggs sunny side up", remembering there favorite way of having their eggs. Remembering and expressing. Small things....to deeper larger feelings. It is only natural to say the way it really is for you, no matter what the conventional script is written. We improvise all the time...the same with "negative" feelings also. Some thoughts.
 
StarSong said:
Not to go too far off point, but...

To be fair, rare indeed are children older than about the age of 11 who find the Stooges amusing. It's like toilet humor - little kids go through phases where poop jokes strike them as hilarious, but outgrow it as their senses of humor increase in sophistication.

I hold affection for the Stooges because they remind me of rainy summer days of yore, when my closest-in-age siblings and I gathered in front of the old black and white TV and watched their antics. Other stations played game shows - boooring, soap operas - double boring - or movies from the 1940s that also held little interest to 7 year olds.

Most children's cartoons (until very recently) relied heavily on the same type of physical humor. Roadrunner, Popeye, etc. Someone was always getting injured but bounced back five seconds later.
Click to expand...
Oddly enough, I never found the road runner funny either. I think I didnt find it funny cause it really wasn’t real. In my life when someone was violent to me, and it happened often due to my dad, I didn’t bounce back. In a way, I resented those silly cartoons. In my life, bouncing back seconds later after being attacked, just didn’t happen. I like the Flintstones and the Jetsons. I know there was violence in both those shows but not consistent violence.
 
Paco Dennis said:
Well THAT is what they kept telling me as they channeled my learning. But, the 3 stooges were indeed a role model for kids in 3rd grade. We had stooges gatherings at school all the time....they erupted spontaneously and lots of kids knew the moves. Our school was a regular suburbia leave it to beaver kind a place. I think most of our role models cam from TV back then. Were else could they come from. School teachers, or parents of different kids, or salesmen at the market? No we learned how to act from watching TV. :)
Click to expand...
Yeah, but it was only the boys, right? I don't remember the girls imitating the Stooges or revering them as much as boys. I tolerated them.
 
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