Do you ever just need someone to talk to?

I would like someone to just listen sometimes. Mostly I am the support / listener / bounce off ideas person for others.

My sister called the other day and said "I was just calling to see how you were doing." Then proceeded to talk my ear off about all things "her" for about 45 minutes.

Hubby told my a few weeks ago not to talk to him. Seriously. He doesn't want to hear about what is going on with me. He needs to stay in denial about my health.
 

My daughter and Ron are my sounding boards and the ones I vent to. Both or either depending on the subject matter. And I am that for them, so it stays very balanced.

With Ron he doesn’t offer advice unless I ask for it. Conversely I already know that he wants my input or he wouldn’t be talking to me.

With Paige we always ask each other “ Are you venting or do you want feedback?” And then we respond accordingly.
 
DaveA said:
You seem to be painting with a pretty broad brush when you trash families other than from your own experience. In actuality, I rarely discuss problems or seek advice from anyone but our kids and/or their mates. They're all in their 50's and 60's now, are usually familiar with any problems that we have and at our late age, they've never failed us yet. Another benefit I find is that they provide a degree of compassion when helping us over a "bump".

We all have different experiences and live accordingly. If your particular experience (within family) has been bad, that's unfortunate and I sympathize with anyone in that situation. But to generalize about others is making an assumption that may not be true.
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If your family is supportive, more power to ya. I've known many families in my time. The majority of them are people who know better than to ask each other anything except what time it is.
 
I have never needed someone to talk to because I don't believe there is ever any other person that can ever really understand someone else. If I'm feeling bad for some reason, I would much rather talk to someone and hear their problems rather than mine. It takes me out of myself and helps someone to have me listen. When I try to tell someone why I feel bad, it just makes me feel worse. I think the main reason is is because I'm an introvert.
 
I'm alone most of the time, always have been, I've gotten used to it. I talk to myself a lot but I try to only do it when I'm alone. Sometimes in public I forget and start muttering to myself. I stop when I notice people looking at me oddly. My social contacts are in artificial settings like public service volunteering at the hospital and community landscaping, at church, in community college classes ( I taught beekeeping there for awhile!) and the Saturday market. And there are online forums.....I called suicide prevention a few times a couple of years ago but things are better in that department lately. I had a dog but she got old and died. I had a mother but she died too last January. I had a really good friend in the volunteering venue but he died a good death this last May. I have one friend but she has a lot of other friends so I try not to be too needy and be a nuisance. I'm used to this, it's OK.
 
Lets see, how do you do this? ... hmmm AT or @ responderings @
Repondering

There are other's that might not be lonely or feel lonely or let it touch them, but-- have been on their own all their life with no family. In short there are always others that have had a lot lonlierEDIT: lonelier! ((grrr my spelling, I don't use spell check makes the brain mush))))) time of it, I'm just doing my best to put in a couple good feel good points, eeeh I'm not good at this HA! well if you were right here I'd sing you some songs on my guitar.

OKay I gave it my best shot. Lastly, just to be like self important and Superrrelevant here HA! okay .. so wouldn't it be kind of nice if others could look into a life, ... I think like mine and then they would think they are very fortunate.
 
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win231 said:
If your family is supportive, more power to ya. I've known many families in my time. The majority of them are people who know better than to ask each other anything except what time it is.
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This is such a shame. 😟 It seems that the majority of folks I hear about have non-supportive or abrasive or otherwise negative family situations. It makes me even more grateful for the closeness of my own, but also vaguely guilty too, though I have no idea Why 🤷‍♀️
 
The wealthy have the option of having a paid "friend" to listen to them complain, on and on. They're called psychologists and psychiatrists.

An old buddy of mine, no longer, is such an insufferable narcissist, such a weird hermit living in abject squalor, such a social misfit, that he has had to pay someone to listen to his disgusting babbling, on a weekly basis, over the last forty years! No changes have ever occurred as the result of his "therapy," nothing has improved in his wasted life, but he does, indeed, have someone to talk to.

I have my gf to bounce ideas off of. She's great for that. I had my sister for general venting, up to last January, but now I have her daughter. I imagine it must be tough to keep everything inside, for those unable or unwilling to make connections to others.
 
I usually discuss important things with myself, mull them over in my own mind.

I do agree that many of us have lost some important human contact over the years, maybe that's one of the reasons we come here.

neighbors-over-the-fence.jpg
 
I know that feeling since we moved rural - hardly ever see anyone -
hubby talks when he feels like it Arrgh))))) so yes I talk to the 3 cats -they are on my level of convo lol.. I have friends but they live far away now ' and trying to find a good hobby is hard living in the sticks , and never burden my boys with my short-falls...:censored:
 
toffee said:
I know that feeling since we moved rural - hardly ever see anyone -
hubby talks when he feels like it Arrgh))))) so yes I talk to the 3 cats -they are on my level of convo lol.. I have friends but they live far away now ' and trying to find a good hobby is hard living in the sticks , and never burden my boys with my short-falls...:censored:
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Do you really think it’s a burden though @toffee?

I mean isn’t that part of being a family? Being there for each other, sharing burdens?
 
Ronni said:
Do you really think it’s a burden though @toffee?

I mean isn’t that part of being a family? Being there for each other, sharing burdens?
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Parents never burden the kids for all of their growing up years. It's hard, if not impossible, to change the behavior when the kids are full adults.
 
I have an old dog I talk to and when I say TRUCK she lights up, tail wagging, heads for the door as soon as I stand up. (she knows we are going for a hamburger} I sometimes put my head phones on her and she will listen for a while then shakes her hear hard till they go flying. I do think she likes county music better than the Blue Danube Waltz, which is my favorite.
 
Ronni said:
Do you really think it’s a burden though @toffee?

I mean isn’t that part of being a family? Being there for each other, sharing burdens?
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Perfect, Ronni. There are times when our kids or grandkids ask our opinions on certain things (not including electronics LOL). If one has a close family, both emotionally AND geographically, the normal discourse with each other is the same as with friends and acquaintances. Chit chat with an occasional question in the mix. Sadly, I've found as I reach my mid eighties, most of my friends are either gone or no longer out and about.

Close families don't happen by accident. They come about by a lifetime of nurturing, parent for child in the early stage and if that was successful, it becomes child for parent. The so called "burdens" that everyone talks about are not burdens at all but just part of a continuing family life. Some choose to reach retirement, pack up, leave the family and any problems behind and drive off to enjoy their new found freedom. No problem with that, but, 20 years later, having been removed from the daily trials of their off-spring, to arrive at their doorstep expecting their help can be a bit off-putting for the kids. Family life should always be a two way street - - -through ALL of the years.
,
 
Repondering said:
I'm alone most of the time, always have been, I've gotten used to it. I talk to myself a lot but I try to only do it when I'm alone. Sometimes in public I forget and start muttering to myself. I stop when I notice people looking at me oddly. My social contacts are in artificial settings like public service volunteering at the hospital and community landscaping, at church, in community college classes ( I taught beekeeping there for awhile!) and the Saturday market. And there are online forums.....I called suicide prevention a few times a couple of years ago but things are better in that department lately. I had a dog but she got old and died. I had a mother but she died too last January. I had a really good friend in the volunteering venue but he died a good death this last May. I have one friend but she has a lot of other friends so I try not to be too needy and be a nuisance. I'm used to this, it's OK.
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You can talk to me....

I’ve had a very lonely and difficult summer. Now that my 11 yr old dog had to be euthanized I’m totally alone and it’s the worst in the early morning....nobody to greet me. :(

I think most of my family and friends have gotten a little tired of my whining and crying all summer.

I’m doing better now physically but mentally...still very difficult....

I do go to therapy once a week for an hour and I also go to Curves every morning during the week.

I’m trying very hard to do more things like lunches with new friends I’ve made.

Going to a church a new friend has invited me to although I’m not very religious...it’s still a good thing.

But..all these things I’ve mentioned still leave me with too many hours in the day with not much to do and nobody to talk to.

At least before I had my dog....

I don’t know anything about you except that you live in the Midwest....I also lived there for many years.

If you want you can start a conversation with me.....I haven’t looked to see if you are male or female but that doesn’t matter....if we click, then great...if not, nothing lost.

CC
 
Patio Life said:
Parents never burden the kids for all of their growing up years. It's hard, if not impossible, to change the behavior when the kids are full adults.
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Guess I’m weird then. 😂 Or atypical or something. I mean I don’t dump everything on them lol! But I got to a point where I started relating to them as peers/fellow adults/friends rather then exclusively my children, and we talk all the time about everything. I will seek their counsel as often as they seek mine.
 
Sometimes I think we tend to keep the "really important" or bothersome things to ourselves - hold them to our chests, maybe not even know what is truly at the core of our fears or anxieties. Like, if you are out to dinner and someone else is picking up the check, you won't really order what you want on the menu, or have that glass of wine since they are paying.
 
My wife and I have our morning coffee in the sunroom every day. It takes about an hour to cover our various aches and pains, the evils in the world, old workplace grievances, our nuisance neighbors and old family issues. I rarely bring these issues up with my son or daughter. They are both doing fine, but have their hands full with the normal challenges of life. Neither of them is a particularly good listener, but I think they try.
Our morning coffee also includes discussions about our future plans, the beauty of our backyard, and how much we love each other and our pets.
I would be lost without her. Right now she is off doing Yoga. Which helps her deal with the recent loss of our lovely dog Heidi.
 
Yes, and I lost verbal contact with a lady friend yesterday. I was calling her at work
every few weeks and we'd talk an hour or more and she'd listen to my troubles. Now she was fired
and I don't have her home phone, only email address. (She is married so I can't see her
or call at home, her husband knows me.) Only platonic, nothing more. Have known her for 11 years.
So now I have no one just to talk socially with when I want. Sad.
 
"The wealthy have the option of having a paid "friend" to listen to them complain, on and on. They're called psychologists and psychiatrists."

Isn't that the truth?! And if you don't get a good one (there are very few good ones) they just string you along...
 
Sunday.abovethe.grass.meh said:
Lets see, how do you do this? ... hmmm AT or @ responderings @
Repondering

There are other's that might not be lonely or feel lonely or let it touch them, but-- have been on their own all their life with no family. In short there are always others that have had a lot lonlierEDIT: lonelier! ((grrr my spelling, I don't use spell check makes the brain mush))))) time of it, I'm just doing my best to put in a couple good feel good points, eeeh I'm not good at this HA! well if you were right here I'd sing you some songs on my guitar.

OKay I gave it my best shot. Lastly, just to be like self important and Superrrelevant here HA! okay .. so wouldn't it be kind of nice if others could look into a life, ... I think like mine and then they would think they are very fortunate.
Click to expand...

Sunday.above.the grass, If you choose to give the forum a look into your life, I for one would pay attention carefully.
 

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