Do you express your emotions honestly?
- Thread starter Keesha
- Start date
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
I never speak of my emotions... my father used to say I had a 'male mind''... when it came to things like that..
he should know he beat it outta me, I learned not to show emotion..... still, I don't want to take this thread a different way..but that's my answer.
he should know he beat it outta me, I learned not to show emotion..... still, I don't want to take this thread a different way..but that's my answer.
Tommy
Senior Member
- Location
- New Hampshire
Just one guy's opinion . . .
Learning to master the expression of one's emotions is a valuable skill that develops earlier in life. Uncontrolled expressions of anger, affection, frustration, sympathy, disgust, etc. can have unwanted, and often predictable, results. Learning to control the onset of the emotions themselves develops much later and more slowly as the result of maturity and life experience.
"Do you express them all equally and honestly?" Most would probably agree that this would be an unwise course.
"Can you express love?" Absolutely, hopefully in ways that are appropriate to the circumstances.
"How about anger?" The older I get, the more I'm convinced that feelings of anger are signs of opportunity for further emotional and intellectual growth.
"Are there emotions which shouldn’t be expressed?" Absolutely. For example, someone dear to you makes a poor decision resulting in failure. One might experience strong feelings of frustration and disappointment, yet the appropriate response may well reflect love, understanding, compassion, and encouragement.
Learning to master the expression of one's emotions is a valuable skill that develops earlier in life. Uncontrolled expressions of anger, affection, frustration, sympathy, disgust, etc. can have unwanted, and often predictable, results. Learning to control the onset of the emotions themselves develops much later and more slowly as the result of maturity and life experience.
"Do you express them all equally and honestly?" Most would probably agree that this would be an unwise course.
"Can you express love?" Absolutely, hopefully in ways that are appropriate to the circumstances.
"How about anger?" The older I get, the more I'm convinced that feelings of anger are signs of opportunity for further emotional and intellectual growth.
"Are there emotions which shouldn’t be expressed?" Absolutely. For example, someone dear to you makes a poor decision resulting in failure. One might experience strong feelings of frustration and disappointment, yet the appropriate response may well reflect love, understanding, compassion, and encouragement.
Ronni
Well-known Member
- Location
- Nashville TN
Love the topic!! Thanks Keesha!! :love_heart: Emotions can be tricky!
Do I express them all equally and honestly? I do. I have long since learned that it is toxic for me to bottle up the negative ones, and suffocating to not communicate the positive ones. So I don't any more. I try really hard to be honest in expressing all my emotions, but I balance that out with being respectful in my delivery of the negative ones, and not too effusive with the positive ones.
Can I express love? I am free with my expressions of love towards my children and grandchildren. A very difficult/abusive marriage resulted in me being very guarded about expressing love in my romantic relationship. Thankfully Ron is a patient and understanding man and knows my history, so I am slowly overcoming this issue with his help.
How about anger? I am very slow to anger because I'm a patient sort, but when I finally get there I can get out of control very quickly. One of my kids' is an addict, in recovery now for 4+ years, the longest run ever!....just for today.
One of the Naranon sayings is "Don't let your reaction become your response!" That is my guiding mantra for the negative emotions I feel particularly anger, but it holds true for all the negative emotions. When I feel like I'm going to just REACT, I take a breath, take a walk, take a break, so that an ill advised response doesn't come flying out of my mouth!
Are there emotions which shouldn’t be expressed? I don't think it's healthy to have unexpressed emotions. That said, I DO believe that there are times when emotions should be expressed to a person OTHER than the one you're feeling the emotions towards. IOW I don't think it's always necessary to say what you feel TO the person, as long as you get to vent your emotions to someone.
Do I express them all equally and honestly? I do. I have long since learned that it is toxic for me to bottle up the negative ones, and suffocating to not communicate the positive ones. So I don't any more. I try really hard to be honest in expressing all my emotions, but I balance that out with being respectful in my delivery of the negative ones, and not too effusive with the positive ones.
Can I express love? I am free with my expressions of love towards my children and grandchildren. A very difficult/abusive marriage resulted in me being very guarded about expressing love in my romantic relationship. Thankfully Ron is a patient and understanding man and knows my history, so I am slowly overcoming this issue with his help.
How about anger? I am very slow to anger because I'm a patient sort, but when I finally get there I can get out of control very quickly. One of my kids' is an addict, in recovery now for 4+ years, the longest run ever!....just for today.
One of the Naranon sayings is "Don't let your reaction become your response!" That is my guiding mantra for the negative emotions I feel particularly anger, but it holds true for all the negative emotions. When I feel like I'm going to just REACT, I take a breath, take a walk, take a break, so that an ill advised response doesn't come flying out of my mouth! Are there emotions which shouldn’t be expressed? I don't think it's healthy to have unexpressed emotions. That said, I DO believe that there are times when emotions should be expressed to a person OTHER than the one you're feeling the emotions towards. IOW I don't think it's always necessary to say what you feel TO the person, as long as you get to vent your emotions to someone.
Sassycakes
SF VIP
- Location
- Pennsylvania
The only time I can hide my emotions is when I am angry with a person. Other than that I am a very emotional person. I can cry at the drop of a hat.
RadishRose
SF VIP
- Location
- Connecticut, USA
I don't usually express them very much any more.
Falcon
DV8
- Location
- So. California
The first time I remember crying/screaming was when they circumcised me minutes after I was born.
Ruth n Jersey
Well-known Member
- Location
- Northern New Jersey
I keep a lot bottled up inside. Rarely do I show anger. As I've aged I cry more easily, than in my younger years and a little more open about it. I've always been sensitive and can be hurt easily. I'm much more tolerant and definitely not has critical as I was years back.
I’d first like to thank all those who responded to my post about expressing feelings and figured I should at least answer also.
Like Ronni, I have learned that I can’t keep all my emotions bottled up. It just doesn’t work for me. If any of you have seen that new series “‘Anne’ with an E,” I’m somewhat similar to her: a bit of an emotional drama queen. Cute but annoying.
I think part of it is due to the fact that I didn’t feel noticed as a child so spent much of my life wanting to be noticed which can, at times, come across on the narcissistic side. I don’t suffer fools gladly and have little patience for them, similar to Gary. I get ugly too. Trying to tame that part of me, I can’t seem to do so YES I definitely can and do express anger and am quite good at doing so.
Expressing love I’m equally good at, which genuinely surprises me because my parents aren’t good at it in the least. They have a very difficult time expressing it but halfway through my life I discovered that I’m an empath, meaning that I pick up on other peoples feelings intuitively , making being around others, very difficult at times.
Watching overly violent movies I find exceptionally difficult and horror is definitely out. I’m far too sensitive to watch that type of stuff. Animals getting abused, I just can’t handle at all. It’s far too disturbing for me.
Being overly sensitive is difficult and not something I can tone down or even turn off but wish I could at times. Intuition is the filter through which we experience the world. This is one huge distinctive difference between a narcissist and an empath. A true narcissist has no empathy for others.
I’m also NOT good at hiding my emotions so stuffing emotions down is definitely not for me. They will seep out of me one way or another. Stating that I’m a vulnerable person is a huge understatement. I wear my heart on my sleeve, just like ‘Anne of Green Gables.’ It can be annoying but I can’t seem to change it or tone it down.
I think I’m equally good at expressing all emotions and there’s pros and cons to it. Hiding emotions I just can’t do and never could. I don’t do pretence well at all. I’m overly sensitive and what you see is what you get.
Like Ronni, I have learned that I can’t keep all my emotions bottled up. It just doesn’t work for me. If any of you have seen that new series “‘Anne’ with an E,” I’m somewhat similar to her: a bit of an emotional drama queen. Cute but annoying.
I think part of it is due to the fact that I didn’t feel noticed as a child so spent much of my life wanting to be noticed which can, at times, come across on the narcissistic side. I don’t suffer fools gladly and have little patience for them, similar to Gary. I get ugly too. Trying to tame that part of me, I can’t seem to do so YES I definitely can and do express anger and am quite good at doing so.
Expressing love I’m equally good at, which genuinely surprises me because my parents aren’t good at it in the least. They have a very difficult time expressing it but halfway through my life I discovered that I’m an empath, meaning that I pick up on other peoples feelings intuitively , making being around others, very difficult at times.
Watching overly violent movies I find exceptionally difficult and horror is definitely out. I’m far too sensitive to watch that type of stuff. Animals getting abused, I just can’t handle at all. It’s far too disturbing for me.
Being overly sensitive is difficult and not something I can tone down or even turn off but wish I could at times. Intuition is the filter through which we experience the world. This is one huge distinctive difference between a narcissist and an empath. A true narcissist has no empathy for others.
I’m also NOT good at hiding my emotions so stuffing emotions down is definitely not for me. They will seep out of me one way or another. Stating that I’m a vulnerable person is a huge understatement. I wear my heart on my sleeve, just like ‘Anne of Green Gables.’ It can be annoying but I can’t seem to change it or tone it down.
I think I’m equally good at expressing all emotions and there’s pros and cons to it. Hiding emotions I just can’t do and never could. I don’t do pretence well at all. I’m overly sensitive and what you see is what you get.
C'est Moi
Dishin' it out.
- Location
- Houston Y'all
Ditto. When angry with my spouse or kids, I tend to bottle it up because I know that "What Has Been Said Cannot Be Unsaid."
Apologies can be accepted but memory is long.