Do you get tried of everything being your responsbility.

[VintageBetter]

Yes, I get tired of it. I have been a single parent since the late 1990s and especially when I was raising the kids, man, how I wished I had someone else besides God to ask for advice and guidance. Their father had no interest in being a good co-parent even though we had joint legal custody. He refused to give input as a way to punish me for leaving him. I think he said to me once something like, "You wanted the divorce! You raise them!"

I came to understand, after years of therapy and self-help, that he really wanted me to fail as a parent. If any of our kids had experienced any major, hard-to-remedy problems, then he would have said to his family, "See what a loser she is? Look at what she did to ruin those kids."
It took me a long time to figure out his sick mind.

Yes, I get really tired of it. On the other hand, it's a blessing never having to argue with anyone but myself over things that need to be repaired or tended to. Plus, I will never call myself a nag.

 

[stephenPE]

Im currently learning to live alone. And recovering from surgery. I used to do much house work but the wife did the heavy cleaning. But I paid bills, all the outside stuff and much child care andcooking. I actually have a 16 daughter I share with her mom and 19 yr old son still home.
But Ive learned I need someone to talk to. Hug and care for. That is the hardest part. My last wife left in June and we knew I had prostate cancer. I told her I would be fine. She wanted to move back to her home about 40 minutes away. Well it was the family home and the siblings had let her live there for years. I thought I would be fine. I was wrong. I cannot do near as much now while trying to recover (incontinence is a *****) so that is frustrating.
I used to wkout an hour a day and just jump up and go and do. Now getting up is a careful job. I was getting more control until I got a UTI. But I have a great physical therapist. I went from a young 68 yr old to an old 69 yr old just like that. Never saw it coming. I was very active. I retired from teaching PE 5 yrs ago. I took so much for granted about health and having someone here. I used to think I was a bad ass. I know people like that but it aint me. I have had great support from friends and family. With food and calls. But these wall close in sometimes...........

 

[Devi]

Thanks for sharing, @stephenPE. Good to know you have family and friends, but I can understand how things can get lonely. Hopefully you'll find more companionship here in the forums. Just talk to us.

 

[stephenPE]

Thanks, Devi. I had a good day. I got back in my wkout room and did 20 minutes total with weights and curl up and pedaling my stationary bike 15 minutes.and also walked at least 30 minutes. I firmly believe in movement. It was my entire career with children. Getting them to move but having fun. My uti set me back a week or so but Im determined to move. ANd get my bladder control back. This place seems so much more humane and kind than the political forums. THey are mostly negative. BTW Devi, I have a very close friend in Edmonds WA just north of Seattle. I visited once and it was like heaven out there to me.

 

[Devi]

Thanks, Devi. I had a good day. I got back in my wkout room and did 20 minutes total with weights and curl up and pedaling my stationary bike 15 minutes.and also walked at least 30 minutes. I firmly believe in movement. It was my entire career with children. Getting them to move but having fun. My uti set me back a week or so but Im determined to move. ANd get my bladder control back. This place seems so much more humane and kind than the political forums. THey are mostly negative. BTW Devi, I have a very close friend in Edmonds WA just north of Seattle. I visited once and it was like heaven out there to me.

Glad you're feeling better, and impressed with your workout routine.

Yes, it is nice here in Washington state. My husband and I moved here some time back, and I really enjoy the greenery.

 

[kaemicha]

I was in the hospital last month, January, for a week. Gallbladder surgery. When I got home my sister flew out to stay with me. We are totally opposite but we did ok. When she left I realized how happy I was in the hospital and when she was here. I was decision free. Had my meals taken care of. No pressure on me. Now, back alone, I'm a wreck.

 

[bingo]

as my husband recently died..i am in the same place as a lot of people...
when my husband became ill...and we found out it was stage 4 cancer .tumors in every major organ...and the brain...we chose hospice and handed everything over to our daughter and son-in-law..
they have been superb...
I am still home here...i just had to put to sleep our last little dog..14 years old...
I don't have a lot to do round here...small space...easy yard..
i should keep it this way..but I long for companionship from a little dog...still thinking about it..the loneliness is very difficult

 

[hollydolly]

as my husband recently died..i am in the same place as a lot of people...
when my husband became ill...and we found out it was stage 4 cancer .tumors in every major organ...and the brain...we chose hospice and handed everything over to our daughter and son-in-law..
they have been superb...
I am still home here...i just had to put to sleep our last little dog..14 years old...
I don't have a lot to do round here...small space...easy yard..
i should keep it this way..but I long for companionship from a little dog...still thinking about it..the loneliness is very difficult

Oh Bingo.. what a horribly devastating heartbreaking time you've been having...I'm so sorry... thank goodness you have a wonderful daughter and s-i-l

I think you need a new little furry companion, it will certainly fill the space in your heart where your other furbaby was.. and keep you company with someone to love now your dear husband has gone.. bless your heart..

 

[officerripley]

as my husband recently died..i am in the same place as a lot of people...
when my husband became ill...and we found out it was stage 4 cancer .tumors in every major organ...and the brain...we chose hospice and handed everything over to our daughter and son-in-law..
they have been superb...
I am still home here...i just had to put to sleep our last little dog..14 years old...
I don't have a lot to do round here...small space...easy yard..
i should keep it this way..but I long for companionship from a little dog...still thinking about it..the loneliness is very difficult

So sorry, bingo. My condolences.

 

[Devi]

as my husband recently died..i am in the same place as a lot of people...
when my husband became ill...and we found out it was stage 4 cancer .tumors in every major organ...and the brain...we chose hospice and handed everything over to our daughter and son-in-law..
they have been superb...
I am still home here...i just had to put to sleep our last little dog..14 years old...
I don't have a lot to do round here...small space...easy yard..
i should keep it this way..but I long for companionship from a little dog...still thinking about it..the loneliness is very difficult

I'm so sorry to hear this, @bingo. My condolences to you, and my hope that you and yours are recovering.

Maybe the little dog is a great idea!

 

[Teacher Terry]

Bingo, I am sorry for your losses but think you should get a new fur baby.

 

[bingo]

Oh Bingo.. what a horribly devastating heartbreaking time you've been having...I'm so sorry... thank goodness you have a wonderful daughter and s-i-l

I think you need a new little furry companion, it will certainly fill the space in your heart where your other furbaby was.. and keep you company with someone to love now your dear husband has gone.. bless your heart..

thanks luvey....i sure am thinking about it

 

[AprilSun]

Bingo, when my husband was sick with cancer and later passed on, I had my cat. She helped me so much while he was sick but especially after he passed away. She was so much company and was so loving. I think another dog will be the same for you and will help you so much.

 

[hearlady]

So sorry to hear that @bingo. Maybe a pet would help.

 

[Paco Dennis]

When I was in the hospital after being diagnosed with a devastating condition ( chronic acute neuropathy ) I was really depressed. A nurse that attended me was really friendly. We talked a lot. She had been a nurse for 25 years. She started talking about her hobby. It was as if she was trying to teach me how to get involved with life in an easy way. She cared for plants. She could go on and on about her relationship with them. How gorgeous they are. How it so fulfilling to help and watch them grow. It felt like she was sharing "plant therapy". Maybe that is something you would enjoy.

 

[Alizerine]

It has been a long time but my husband also died after battling cancer. My kitty at the time was Stella and she did her part to keep me going. Wishing you the best.

 

[StillLearning]

When I was in the hospital after being diagnosed with a devastating condition ( chronic acute neuropathy ) I was really depressed. A nurse that attended me was really friendly. We talked a lot. She had been a nurse for 25 years. She started talking about her hobby. It was as if she was trying to teach me how to get involved with life in an easy way. She cared for plants. She could go on and on about her relationship with them. How gorgeous they are. How it so fulfilling to help and watch them grow. It felt like she was sharing "plant therapy". Maybe that is something you would enjoy.

Thank you for this. Hubby has been battling cancer for 4 years now and is getting pretty weak now. I’ve contemplated a dog to keep me company but don’t want any responsibility. I love my plants but have been neglecting them for a long time. Most days I tell myself to just get through today. That’s it. Seeing how so many other people have lost their spouse has given me hope that I will too survive. Just so worried that I’m going to mess up taking care of him.

 

[officerripley]

Thank you for this. Hubby has been battling cancer for 4 years now and is getting pretty weak now. I’ve contemplated a dog to keep me company but don’t want any responsibility. I love my plants but have been neglecting them for a long time. Most days I tell myself to just get through today. That’s it. Seeing how so many other people have lost their spouse has given me hope that I will too survive. Just so worried that I’m going to mess up taking care of him.

So sorry for what you're going through, Still; hugs, and don't hesitate to come here to vent or whatever.

 

[PeppermintPatty]

My husband does most of our cooking but I do most of the cleaning. When he worked, I did most of the cooking and I enjoyed it. Now that he’s retired, he actually likes cooking and is pretty good at it. I usually cook breakfast stuff but not always at breakfast time.

I usually clean the house and he usually looks after the wood for the stove, mows the lawn snd shovels the driveway. Plus he does all the grocery shopping. Bless his heart. I’m lucky to have him.

 

[Widow of Vietnam Vet]

You certainly will survive , if he dies, StillLearning- but I can relate to what you said. I was a caretaker for two husbands, and felt overwhelmed and exhausted most of the time, but my Faith is strong and I got through it. Before they died, they both let me know, in their own ways, that they felt that I had done all I could to help them and they never really complained, yet they were the ones who suffered Far more than I could imagine.

Many here know how you feel.

 

[Rose65]

The only way is take control. Write down in priority of urgency what needs doing. Be realistic. Then one by one handle it. You can do it.
As you deal fully with each matter, your confidence will be boosted.

I was left on my own at one point in my life. I was scared but I decided I would cope and to my amazement, I did. You can too.

 

[birdy]

I didn't get another dog after I had to euthanize mine. I would love one but I don't want the responsibility now. I'm sure it would be good for me, but I can't bring myself to take that on. I have enough on my plate these days.

 

[officerripley]

I didn't get another dog after I had to euthanize mine. I would love one but I don't want the responsibility now. I'm sure it would be good for me, but I can't bring myself to take that on. I have enough on my plate these days.

I feel the same as you; I'm planning not to get another one after the dog I have now is gone. I love dogs and dread so much the thought of living without one, but I fear not only not being able to take care of one but also the dog outliving me since I have no one who could give the dog a home. (I have a wonderful nephew, but his plate is enormously full of other responsibilities; he doesn't need me adding to it.)

 

[kaemicha]

I would give anything to be able to get a kitten but at this point, I'd outlive it and there isn't anyone I'd want to take care of it when I'm gone or that anyone would volunteer.

 

[Blessed]

I would give anything to be able to get a kitten but at this point, I'd outlive it and there isn't anyone I'd want to take care of it when I'm gone or that anyone would volunteer.

You might check into being a foster Mom, there are a lot of shelters that need people to foster an animal until they are adopted.