Do you have any past mistakes from years ago you feel are still held against you?

[IrishEyes]

Youth and restless young adulthood sometimes brings on a bad choice we may make.
We either hide it away or try to make amends, each in their own way.
You don't have to tell what it is exactly. Just your feelings on how this effects/effected you
or how you washed yourself from it.

After my hubby passed I was lost and scared and made some very stupid choices for myself.
I hid it away, shut it off for years. Then years later I sat my sons down and discussed that time period with
each and finally got past my nervousness of that coming to mind. It was life changing for me and
turned out my sons later when they matured understood exactly what was going on and held no
bad feelings over it.

 

[MACKTEXAS]

I've made many foolish choices so I relate to your post, but I have not sat down and discussed the details of past mistakes with anyone, and I don't plan to do so. I just moved on and live with the scars. It's good to know you found another (maybe better) way.

To answer the question, "Do you have any past mistakes from years ago you feel are still held against you?" No, but only because those who might do so are no longer living

 

[IrishEyes]

I've made many foolish choices so I relate to your post, but I have not sat down and discussed the details of past mistakes with anyone, and I don't plan to do so. I just moved on and live with the scars. It's good to know you found another (maybe better) way.

To answer the question, "Do you have any past mistakes from years ago you feel are still held against you?" No, but only because those who might do so are no longer living

Scars teach us so much and if it's not an open wound still, I think you are doing great Mack

 

[hollydolly]

I have made many mistakes in the past.. many... I had no-one to guide me in my younger years...

I don't believe anyone holds them against me.. they weren't serious enough... but I have to say I live in a very small conservative area, if you mess up here they never forget... one mistake and they're gossiping about it for the next 40 years !

 

[Aunt Bea]

Probably but truth be told I’m sure that I’m my harshest critic and hold more against myself than anyone else ever could.

 

[KSav]

Oh, boy, where do I start with this one?

I think I'd better leave this thread alone. You all know my story. But I'm interested to read people's replies.

 

[roman gupta]

yeh, I regret joining a gang!

 

[hollydolly]

Probably but truth be told I’m sure that I’m my harshest critic and hold more against myself than anyone else ever could.

I feel you..I'm the same !

 

[PeppermintPatty]

I’m my worst critic. I have made many past mistakes that I’m ashamed of which I think about often. It does not do me any good rehashing them over again and again but I do. Often I torture myself with my past mistakes needlessly.

 

[IrishEyes]

yeh, I regret joining a gang!

Did you mean us or a street gang?

 

[IrishEyes]

I have made many mistakes in the past.. many... I had no-one to guide me in my younger years...

I don't believe anyone holds them against me.. they weren't serious enough... but I have to say I live in a very small conservative area, if you mess up here they never forget... one mistake and they're gossiping about it for the next 40 years !

Bit the same, nothing illegal and nothing harming or ruining someone else, but it affected those that loved me with concern.
Now how some may have taken it, I have yet to hear and I am sure I would have by now if we were close. I don't plan to poll
every one.

 

[dusty]

Of course I have, and so has nearly everyone else over time. To live in the present day with fullness and peace you must forgive yourself for what you did. And then you might want to talk it out with the people/person you wronged so they might start to forgive. It is not always going to happen the way you want it to, but if you study peace and forgiveness you will begin to understand on a deeper level who you are and why you did it.

 

[TeePee]

I think mistakes or bad choices comes out of immaturity and as we mature, hopefully we won't make those mistakes again. I've made my share of mistakes during my lifetime. I've found the hardest part of getting over mistakes is forgiving myself for things I can't unchange rather than excepting them. It's a lifelong process.

 

[feywon]

Anyone still berating your self for past mistakes: Stop it! Does no-one any good unless you can somehow change the negative effects now, or express that regret to someone you hurt. (The only ones i carried long term were ones that may have hurt others.) Waste of emotional energy otherwise.

I suspect if you examined those regrets objectively you'd find they aren't majorly impacting your current life except in your concern about them. That is part of what helped me let go of regrets. May not work for everyone but did for me. Also looking at the events objectively about poor choices the negative impact of which was mostly on you, ask yourself if you'd be holding a grudge against someone else if that negative impact was caused by them. If you could forgive another, you should be able to forgive yourself.

 

[Messy]

Maybe. Haven't seen the people anymore we saw daily since we divorced. Half of em took his side and half took mine and 2 were so smart to stay out of it. I did tell a woman who was on my side, a friend of my mother, later that it wasn't that black and white that you can blame him. I was lousy too. But the others, no idea. Their problem if they do. I don't care.

 

[outlander]

I have made some poor choices in the past which I can never really forgive myself for.

I just strive to make myself a better person, hopefully brightening the world a little bit for people around me.

 

[TeePee]

Anyone still berating your self for past mistakes: Stop it! Does no-one any good unless you can somehow change the negative effects now, or express that regret to someone you hurt. (The only ones i carried long term were ones that may have hurt others.) Waste of emotional energy otherwise.

I suspect if you examined those regrets objectively you'd find they aren't majorly impacting your current life except in your concern about them. That is part of what helped me let go of regrets. May not work for everyone but did for me. Also looking at the events objectively about poor choices the negative impact of which was mostly on you, ask yourself if you'd be holding a grudge against someone else if that negative impact was caused by them. If you could forgive another, you should be able to forgive yourself.

Good advise.

 

[jujube]

I wasted good opportunities to get a good education. I putzed around in college and never graduated.

 

[Repondering]

I've contacted three people whom I treated badly, one from the college years and two from even earlier.
I apologized and voiced regret. All three remembered me and my behavior........they told me not to trouble myself about it,
they had long since forgiven me and my misdeeds.

I still berate myself for some foolish choices in the career and logistics of life department.

 

[TeePee]

I wasted good opportunities to get a good education. I putzed around in college and never graduated.

Same here!

 

[Lewkat]

I certainly would not discuss anything like that here, even if I did.

 

[dobielvr]

I'm not sure if this applies...but, my sister likes to remind me that we're all imperfect.
I hold on to that.

 

[HoneyNut]

I can't think of any mistakes I made when I was young that people are holding against me, but I made several mistakes with my daughter, but she only blames me for one that I know of, for pushing her to do the advanced rushed nursing program instead of the slower one. Between being a rushed program and Covid happening that year, she got all burned out on nursing and when she didn't pass the licensing exam after a few tries she gave up because she didn't care for the profession anymore.

I made other mistakes with her but that is the only one she's brought up a few times. Other mistakes I made were not noticing her license plate renewal was on the back of the DMV letter about mine, so oops she got pulled over and ticketed for an expired plate one year.

Another time she ran over a nest of mailboxes and when she got home (in the middle of the night), I told her we'd take care of it on the weekend (figuring we could go to that neighborhood and pay). But, a town sleuth (tiny rural town) matched up a piece of broken light cover from her truck to her truck while it was parked at her job and she wound up handcuffed in the back of a police car for having left the scene.

I'm glad anyway that she left the scene because she broke other rules that the police didn't pick up on (driving after curfew for 16 yr olds, and being on her phone while driving), so she got off with just a lecture from a homeowner (who didn't press any charges or even expect payment) (probably mollified a bit by the police presenting him with a terrified/sorrowful 16 yr old girl).

Then there was the serious mistake I made when she was a few weeks short of 21 and got caught with friends with alcohol. It didn't seem like a big deal to me, but she wound up having to spend a night or two in jail and lost her college internship because of the conviction. My mistake was not getting a lawyer, the other underage girl she was with had a lawyer and got off entirely.

 

[IrishEyes]

I've contacted three people whom I treated badly, one from the college years and two from even earlier.
I apologized and voiced regret. All three remembered me and my behavior........they told me not to trouble myself about it,
they had long since forgiven me and my misdeeds.

I still berate myself for some foolish choices in the career and logistics of life department.

I bet finding out they had forgiven you helped release you and lightened a load off your mind. I know for me it sure did.

 

[Gardenlover]

Scars, yes, some taken and a number given. Lessons, enough to fill Pandora's box.
I can't go back and change the past, so I move forward, not unmarked, not unchanged, but steady.