Do you try to fit in with others?

Thank you Mrs. R, Right now it doesn't feel like a happy end yet. Maybe after some more time has past the loss of my second son, things will be better. I lost my first son when he was 27.
I do generally fight my way back to the living and what they need from me. And yes, I do see joy in my my husband Michael, my 4 great-grandchildren, and daily I have the joy of 4 furkids. I'll make it, and being able to voice some of this on the forum has allowed me to start the mending. When I lost my first son, I had know one to help me deal with the pain. I was busy comforting everyone else.
 
Ina, I don't know if you can get hold of this book over there, but I'd recommend a book titled "A Fortunate Life" by a man called A. B. Facey. It is an autobiography of a boy growing up in very difficult circumstances when his widowed mother remarried and he was no longer welcome in the home by his step father. The story is very painful to read at times but the way the boy coped and retained his optimistic outlook is very inspiring. The title refers to his life after he married a good woman.

Perhaps you could find peace and healing by regarding that part of your life that you can now describe as fortunate. I think that would most likely be the present day. In life we can either lick our wounds and heal or pick our scabs and keep bleeding.
 
Warrigal, I hear you. I'll look for the book, and read it. My family and husband are not suffering my morbid thoughts. That is one of the problems. After ER died, I totally submerge my pain, so that I could take care of ER's two children and the rest of my family. After a year I developed hives all over my body, and I was put on alprazolam. This time I was advised, (if I did't want a repeat of the experience I had with ER's death.), to find an outlet, so that I could express some of the pain instead of internalizing it this time. It is the first time I've let any of this out.
If what I say is causing an issue I'll stop.
 
Atta girl, keep licking the wounds but don't pick the scabs.

Only you can decide what that means for you in your particular circumstance.
But we're cheering you onwards and upwards.
 
Get it out,Ina. Keeping it all inside is definitely not good-it was the cause of my getting Shingles. I have never lost a child-the thought is inconceivable to me. I did think I was going to lose my son-to drugs-and I guess for a number of years I actually did. Hence the Shingles. But to actually lose a child-and then another? Unthinkable,although I do know a couple of people who have had to live through that. I admire those people beyond all others. The fact that they can keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep on living-be it for their other children,or grandchildren or even just for themselves,just amazes me. So vent all you want or need to here-this is a great place for it.
 
Thank you Mrs. R, Those are my thoughts also, and it relieves the choking feeling. My grandciildren aren't being burdened that Grams is falling apart too. I have always shown them strength and courage.

Goodnight all. :cya: :eek:fftobed: :seeyou: :sleeping: :shussh:
 
Ina said:
I don't want people to see a sad story, but I did want people to see what happens when child is sequester. The ability to join
children groups, or to fight against them, teaches them who they really want to be, or who even who they might want to be.
It would have been just another sad story if I hadn't had the instincts to fight.
Click to expand...

But you did and yours is the victory Ina. Add to it your honesty in sharing your tale.
 
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