Do you want your loved ones to keep your dying a secret

Lin

Lin

New Member
Location
New York
It made me mad watching a soap (and please don’t let this become a soap discussion), when the character was dying and no one would tell her. Personally that would piss me off.
 

terry123 said:
I would want to know and then I would choose who should know after that.
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I agree I want to know what to expect under the best and the worst circumstances.

I can't stand medical people that talk over old people like they are not even in the room.

My mother had one doctor like that and she finally told him he better start talking to the person that pays the bills if he expected to get paid!
 

I'd prefer keeping my dying a secret...to others
No gushing well wishers
Just me and my misery
Hopefully, my lady puts me down early...if I let her in on it
 
I have faced death many times. First in Vietnam and then in the line of duty. Never once did I ever give thought to wanting to know if I was bleeding to death or was about to expire for any reason. As a combat Marine and a State Policeman, you accept the fact that you may die at any time. It’s just a fact that you learn to live with and seldom discuss it.

While in Vietnam, there were a few men that wanted and maybe needed to discuss dying and how they wanted their remains to be handled. For me, I had already discussed with my parents the subject, so they were aware of my wishes.
 
Well, I live alone, no family...so if I keel over here at home NO one will know....till the mail piles up. Which, when ya think about it , is the likely scenario. And if it's quick?....not a bad way to go.
 
It's a difficult one. On the one hand I think I'd like to know then I could tie up any loose ends, say farewells etc..that's if I was capable of course in my last days.. on the other hand , I wouldnn't want to know because I'd worry myself into a quicker death , panicking about how the family will be after I'm gone, if I'm going to die painfully etc, and also I'd hate to be patronised by everyone because they knew I was dying ... so it's a difficult one!!
 
I would want to know and what to expect. I would like to keep the info from my kids for as long as possible because I'm afraid they would want to explore every avenue open to me just to keep me alive. I appreciate that but that's not what I want. I also know if they aren't making any headway with me they will start with the guilt. Don't you want to see your Grand kids do this or that? That would be the last thing I need or want to make my passing easier.
 
Lin said:
It made me mad watching a soap (and please don’t let this become a soap discussion), when the character was dying and no one would tell her. Personally that would piss me off.
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If I was in the hospital dying, I would definitely want to know and would be angry if they kept it from me.
 
SeaBreeze said:
If I was in the hospital dying, I would definitely want to know and would be angry if they kept it from me.
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I agree with you Seabreeze..in that if I was lying in hospital dying I would want to know.. but if I was home and well enough to get out and about , and the doctors had told my family that I had a finite time, I don't think I'd want to know. I'd still want to be able to believe I was getting better
 
I would want to know if the doctors think I'm going to die. After that, there's only family to tell and they HAVE to know because they're all in the Will :)

They will all be happy for me because they know that, not only am I happy to be alive right now, I'll also be happy when the time comes to go home. Because of my faith, I have much to look forward to forever :love_heart:
 
I would want to know. I would also like to choose which loved ones to let know. Kudos to Lara, I like her outlook on the whole not being here anymore topic :). Don...
 
I just want to feel happy, and at peace , when I die, I would like to tell all my kids in my will, that I buried all the money by a certain tree in the forest, but you and I know how odd timers are, forgot where the dang tree was. Yes I want to know how much time I got left so I can plan.
 
I'd only want to know if I had enough time to take a trip to Portugal. Been everywhere else I wanted to see, thankfully, but didn't make it there.

Would like to enjoy a beautiful sunset on my last day :cool: Then bury my ashes in a dancing shoe box under a cemetery walking path.

Documents are in place and family knows each other's wishes.

:cheerful:
 
hollydolly said:
I agree with you Seabreeze..in that if I was lying in hospital dying I would want to know.. but if I was home and well enough to get out and about , and the doctors had told my family that I had a finite time, I don't think I'd want to know. I'd still want to be able to believe I was getting better
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I'd want to know even if I was at home doing things every day. I'd want to know the reason why my time alive was limited, then evaluate how seriously to take the information after that. I wouldn't want to remain protected from my own fate.
 
I would want to know so I could say my goodbyes and have special last moments with loved ones and the planet.

Today's laws (in the US) no longer allow doctors to withhold information from patients, nor can they tell family members medically privileged information without the patient's permission, so the days of families keeping the ill person in the dark are no more.
 
rgp said:
Well, I live alone, no family...so if I keel over here at home NO one will know....till the mail piles up. Which, when ya think about it , is the likely scenario. And if it's quick?....not a bad way to go.
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Me too. At least you don't have to worry about being buried alive.

Why waking up in a morgue isn’t quite as unusual as you’d think

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/nov/14/waking-morgue-death-janina-kolkiewicz

There was a news story about a woman who had been dead for years when she was discovered.
Her TV was still on. Her pension kept being deposited and her bills were paid automatically.
 
KingsX said:
Me too. At least you don't have to worry about being buried alive.

Why waking up in a morgue isn’t quite as unusual as you’d think

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/nov/14/waking-morgue-death-janina-kolkiewicz

There was a news story about a woman who had been dead for years when she was discovered.
Her TV was still on. Her pension kept being deposited and her bills were paid automatically.
Click to expand...

Scary stuff in that article. Glad I read it in the morning and not just before bedtime!
 
We're all dying from the moment of our birth.
I have come to terms with my ever reducing life expectancy.
When the actual diagnosis of a terminal condition is made, I want to know immediately.
There will be loose ends I will want to tie up.
 
I want my doctors to be honest and up front with me in all matters, especially this. Who I share this information with is my decision.
 
I want to know. It's my life and my death. My choice and no one else's...relative to me. I'd be pissed if I learned they'd kept it from me. I don't know how I'd feel about telling others if I was dying. My husband would need to know, other than that, I'll have to wait and see when I'm confronted with it.
 

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