Does Anyone Else Feel Especially Sad Lately?

Aneeda72 said:
When we adopted our extremely disabled son, he was supposed to have fetal alcohol syndrome. We said we would adopt any child as long as the child could walk. He was featured on a local tv show, was 18 months old, and adorable. We fell in love right away.

Turns out he had quadriplegic cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, mild mental retardation, and a slew of other issues. We were asked if we wanted to return him. Hmm. He is, of course, total care. We cared for him till he was 18 and he choose to go into a group home.

I have an ideal how hard it is for you. But remember in order for you to care for your husband, you must also take care of yourself. Could you not get part time help? My heart goes out to you. If you want to vent via PM, I am willing to listen.
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Bless you and your husband, Aneeda. :love:
 
One thing I always feel concerned and sad about is that I have a condition where I could bleed out at any moment and have no one else here and I'm afraid my pets wouldn't know what to do. It has been keeping me awake at night lately worrying about it and there's really nothing I can do.
 

Ruthanne said:
One thing I always feel concerned and sad about is that I have a condition where I could bleed out at any moment and have no one else here and I'm afraid my pets wouldn't know what to do. It has been keeping me awake at night lately worrying about it and there's really nothing I can do.
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I am sorry you worry so much about this. It can be frightening as I know. How long have you had the condition? Maybe you should wear one of those medical buttons around your neck so you can press it to get help. Would you have time to do that?

Oh, gosh, is there any medical condition I don’t have. Yup, my prostate is just fine. My husband carries it around in a sack. 😂

I have a brain aneurysm on the right carotid artery. It cannot be operated on or coiled. I joke that when it goes, I go with it. But I have had one very minor brain bleed from it. Gives you the headache from hell, you truly wish you’d die, plus a few other OMG that hurts issues. But the good news, if it breaks instead of leaks, I’ll bleed out before I realize I’m bleeding.

Then about four/five years later I was having my yearly brain MRI, (which I refuse to get anymore) and, yup, a small aneurysm on the communication artery at the top of my head. Oh, goody. Can’t be operated on, can’t be coiled. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Then I am having an MRI on my lungs, COPD and lung scarring, on the lower left lobe, but, hey, I wear a mask. And I win the TRIFECTA. An aneurysm on the iliac artery in my abdomen, incidental finding, 😂.

I have learned that it does no good to worry. @Ruthanne. What will happen, will happen. Perhaps you could talk to someone in therapy about it or someone here that you can vent to when you are ready, like me or someone else. Or, just post about the details. It helps to vent. Stay safe.
 
Ruthanne said:
One thing I always feel concerned and sad about is that I have a condition where I could bleed out at any moment and have no one else here and I'm afraid my pets wouldn't know what to do. It has been keeping me awake at night lately worrying about it and there's really nothing I can do.
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@Ruthanne Could you get one of those things that you wear like a necklace, that you could push to call 911?

Aneeda posted just before me, and addressed what I mentioned.
 
Aneeda72 said:
Also and I logged back in before I forgot this, 😂, if you live in a multi housing situation, get an air horn. Air horns are cheap and tell your neighbors if they hear the horn to call the paramedics or police. I used to carry one when I worked nights. You can get small loud ones.
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Yes, I do live in a multi apt. situation but when you hear noises it's not easy to tell where they are coming from. But thanks for the idea anyhow.
 
Aneeda72 said:
I don't have one.

But check with your senior care department in the county you live in and they might be able to get you one at no cost. Check with catholic services in your area, they might get you one. You don’t have to be Catholic. Other people on here will have ideals as well.
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I wasn't really talking about the device that you get from Life Alert but the service that you pay for and I don't think that any kind of charitable organization would pay my monthly bill.

I am thinking of just using my landline telephone and hoping that if it does happen that I can get my hands on the landline all right.
 
Aneeda72 said:
When we adopted our extremely disabled son, he was supposed to have fetal alcohol syndrome. We said we would adopt any child as long as the child could walk. He was featured on a local tv show, was 18 months old, and adorable. We fell in love right away.

Turns out he had quadriplegic cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, mild mental retardation, and a slew of other issues. We were asked if we wanted to return him. Hmm. He is, of course, total care. We cared for him till he was 18 and he choose to go into a group home.

I have an ideal how hard it is for you. But remember in order for you to care for your husband, you must also take care of yourself. Could you not get part time help? My heart goes out to you. If you want to vent via PM, I am willing to listen.
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Thankyou for your kind words and concern aneeda , 😘

I’m so sorry to hear of your situation with your son, you sound amazing and so does your son , bless him.....xx

My husband and I have literally been together (joined at the hip) 24/7 since we met 36 yrs ago...after our both disastrous first marriages.......I would be totally lost without him,even for a few hours ......
Thankfully his brain wasn’t affected and he’s my guidance and councillor , my soul mate, .....
I dread to think what is at the end of our tunnel.......No Light....😢🙁
 
charry said:
Thankyou for your kind words and concern aneeda , 😘

I’m so sorry to hear of your situation with your son, you sound amazing and so does your son , bless him.....xx

My husband and I have literally been together (joined at the hip) 24/7 since we met 36 yrs ago...after our both disastrous first marriages.......I would be totally lost without him,even for a few hours ......
Thankfully his brain wasn’t affected and he’s my guidance and councillor , my soul mate, .....
I dread to think what is at the end of our tunnel.......No Light....😢🙁
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Oh, Charry, I have had so many sad days in my life I can so understand what you mean. While I am not amazing (but thanks for saying so) my son certainly is. He always has a smile on his face, always. Everyone, in the family, has a great sense of humor which keeps us going in the worst of times, and we have had a lot of worst times.

I too had a disastrous first marriage, oh wait, second is not that great either 😂, but far from a disaster, thank heaven. But with all I have been through, and I have been through a lot, I know, I KNOW, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s just it’s a very very long tunnel.

The death of three infant sons-who could imagine that would happen, who could imagine that we would live through it, who could imagine that we could ever smile again. Who could imagine that we would ever have another child? Who could imagine there ever being light in the world again?

Until we saw a mixed race 18 month old disabled child on tv with cute little crossed eyes and a smile that lit up the world. A child who needed us as much as we needed him.

I am glad your husbands brain was not effected, but even if it had been, you would still love him as much, still care for him as much. But try not and dread the end of the tunnel. It’s a long tunnel, and it is not straight. It is full of twists and turns, stops and goes, and surprises. Some good, some bad, but surprises none the less.

The light at the end of the tunnel, for most of us, is hidden from view; but it is there. It is always there. Take care of yourself. Stay safe.

There was a poem that brought me great comfort when my sons died. I will add it later.
 
Ruthanne said:
I wasn't really talking about the device that you get from Life Alert but the service that you pay for and I don't think that any kind of charitable organization would pay my monthly bill.

I am thinking of just using my landline telephone and hoping that if it does happen that I can get my hands on the landline all right.
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You won’t know till you ask. Also, sometimes there are grants, you might be able to get a one time grant. Did you check if Medicare pays or Medicaid? Your county“s disabled services division? Ask your doctor office for ideals? My son had one of those devices. I think medicaid
paid for it. He sure did not 😂.

My mother got Medicare to pay for oxygen instead of a c-pap machine. She hated the machine and wanted oxygen and called and called and called until they just gave up and let her have it. Keep trying. Hmm, see a therapist have her say it is necessary for your continued good mental health.
 
This may seem to be a very sad poem, but it’s uplifting, IMO. It expresses what is so hard to say or explain. It is, to me, poem of great sacrifice and tremendous love. I wanted to put it here for @charry and other members who I know are in pain.

Course, if you don’t like poetry dont read it, 😂. It you don’t want tears, don’t read it. I don’t ever cry, but my eyes do get watery when I read this one.

NOT THOU BUT I
by PHILIP BOURKE MARSTON

It must have been for one of us, my own,
To drink this cup and eat this bitter bread,
Had not my tears upon thy face been shed,
Thy tears had dropped on mine; if I alone
Did not walk now, thy spirit would have know
My loneliness, and did my feet not tread
This weary path and steep, thy feet had bled
For mind, and thy mouth had for mine made moan;
And so it COMFORTS me, yea, not in vain

To think of thy eternity of sleep,
To know thine eyes are tearless though mine weep;
And when this cup”s last bitterness I drain,
One thought shall still its primal sweetness keep-
Thou hadst the peace and I the undying pain.
 
Aneeda72 said:
This may seem to be a very sad poem, but it’s uplifting, IMO. It expresses what is so hard to say or explain. It is, to me, poem of great sacrifice and tremendous love. I wanted to put it here for @charry and other members who I know are in pain.

Course, if you don’t like poetry dont read it, 😂. It you don’t want tears, don’t read it. I don’t ever cry, but my eyes do get watery when I read this one.

NOT THOU BUT I
by PHILIP BOURKE MARSTON

It must have been for one of us, my own,
To drink this cup and eat this bitter bread,
Had not my tears upon thy face been shed,
Thy tears had dropped on mine; if I alone
Did not walk now, thy spirit would have know
My loneliness, and did my feet not tread
This weary path and steep, thy feet had bled
For mind, and thy mouth had for mine made moan;
And so it COMFORTS me, yea, not in vain

To think of thy eternity of sleep,
To know thine eyes are tearless though mine weep;
And when this cup”s last bitterness I drain,
One thought shall still its primal sweetness keep-
Thou hadst the peace and I the undying pain.
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Beautiful........😢
Thankyou for sharing Aneeda....😊.....
 
Aneeda72 said:
Oh, Charry, I have had so many sad days in my life I can so understand what you mean. While I am not amazing (but thanks for saying so) my son certainly is. He always has a smile on his face, always. Everyone, in the family, has a great sense of humor which keeps us going in the worst of times, and we have had a lot of worst times.

I too had a disastrous first marriage, oh wait, second is not that great either 😂, but far from a disaster, thank heaven. But with all I have been through, and I have been through a lot, I know, I KNOW, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s just it’s a very very long tunnel.

The death of three infant sons-who could imagine that would happen, who could imagine that we would live through it, who could imagine that we could ever smile again. Who could imagine that we would ever have another child? Who could imagine there ever being light in the world again?

Until we saw a mixed race 18 month old disabled child on tv with cute little crossed eyes and a smile that lit up the world. A child who needed us as much as we needed him.

I am glad your husbands brain was not effected, but even if it had been, you would still love him as much, still care for him as much. But try not and dread the end of the tunnel. It’s a long tunnel, and it is not straight. It is full of twists and turns, stops and goes, and surprises. Some good, some bad, but surprises none the less.

The light at the end of the tunnel, for most of us, is hidden from view; but it is there. It is always there. Take care of yourself. Stay safe.

There was a poem that brought me great comfort when my sons died. I will add it later.
Click to expand...


Thankyou 59788DB1-73A7-4996-AC12-B81A244EAD9E.jpeg
 
Yes, Aneeda & Charry, my heart too goes out to you both. My husband & I did not have kids; so I worry about just your same situation, Charry, since he and I only have each other and are not getting any younger. In fact, a lot of us--and on other sites I visit--are dealing with a lot. So glad that there is this site and others to vent on. You all rock & have the biggest hearts. ❤
 
Thank you to all of you in this thread who have been supportive to one another and also to those of you who were giving me some support too.

I started this thread so people could be supportive of each other in these sad days
with whatever situation they are experiencing and I'm glad that happened for them.
 

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