Does it seem to anybody else that the wedding these days is

Georgiagranny

Georgiagranny

Well-known Member
more important than the marriage? I just read an article about a newly-engaged woman who has chosen a destination wedding at that destination's most expensive time of year. Her BFF told her that she can't be there because it would cost $8,000 for her and her DH, and she just doesn't have it. The woman is incensed, expecting to be "supported" on her special day. She can't understand how much money that is? Whaaaat?
 

I definitely think that the wedding extravaganza is what a lot of women want these days. Years ago I taught a short course on marriage to a class of year 9 girls as part of the RE course in a catholic school. We looked at marriage from three perspectives - legal contract (de jure), common law (de facto) and religious (catholic - sacrament)

I presented them with different formats of the ceremony - church wedding and civil celebrant - and we compared the two, noting the differences and similarities. The latter included establishing consent of both parties, the solemn vows and the giving or exchanging of rings. They enjoyed dressing up as we role played each kind of ceremony for a formal marriage union.

I explained that there was no need to dress as a bride or to pay for a very expensive wedding breakfast.

The general reactions was, "No way." If they couldn't have the whole circus there weren't going to get married at all. We see that acted out when some couples live together for years, waiting until they can afford the wedding to formalise their union. Their children are often old enough to take part.

My wedding in 1963 was a very small affair, just immediate family, two girlfriends and three neighbours. I wore an after five dress from a suburban dress shop, not white, and my childhood mate took some photos. Then we all had a meal together at a nearby restaurant and Hubby and I had a couple of nights together in the nearby Blue Mountains. Married on Friday evening, I was back at work on Monday morning. Hubby ditto.

In March this year we will be celebrating 60 years of marriage. We have booked a function room at a nearby licenced club and will invite extended family and lots of friends to share your happiness. We can afford to splash out a bit now but I won't be buying a new and expensive outfit.
 
Married at my inlaws home, simple dress, not a wedding dress. Hubby, sport coat and tie. Cake, punch, family and friends, married 31 years when he passed.

Sister and sister in law, had to have the big do. Parents spent a lot of money, my inlaws went into debt to do this. They both divorced, two year later and one six years later. I just don't know why people need to go into debt or waste money to get married.
 

hearlady said:
We married on the beach before it was a thing. A Chaplain, Maid of honor, and Best Man. And some tickled onlookers.

I thought I read somewhere that young people were getting away from destination weddings. Some are declining going to them also.
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My first wedding was with a big family (his).. and my new husband married in his Naval Uniform.. barely any money spent except for a modest reception.. and no Honeymoon because the next day he had to leave to sail for Florida with his ship...

My second wedding, was just 3 people.. and lunch at the pub... nice lunch but very simple...
 
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We eloped! We were both widowed, so no big wedding. We got married on the Island of Santorini during a cruise. Just the two of us, the officient, and a photographer. It was beautiful,
For Thanksgiving, I commissioned a wedding cake shaped like the veranda of the church where we were married to share with family/ :) IMG_5264.JPG
 
I'm pretty confused about all this "BFF" and all this "DH" is about? DH sounds like someone is talking about a series of caterpillars tractors but this is about wedding so it can't be about those nice tractors.

My humble opinion: That gal getting married is spoiled rotten. Two things I don't believe in:
1. Rotten spoiled weddings - a very poor example of LOVE!
2. Big Mafia Funerals (the guy is dead; get over it)

Yap! We got 'em here in Canada. Young kids off to Jamaica, off to Mexico, off to Hawaii or where ever to get married. Expecting all their families and friends to spend thousands of dollars to follow them for the "Big Day."

What a bunch of baloney. Aren't we about to have a recession? Doesn't Canada have the highest consumer/credit card debt of any country in the world? Answer is YES to both of those questions.

Spending money that you haven't got on a wedding that lasts a few hours is no indication of true love. If it was then Canada wouldn't have a 50/50 divorce rate.

I know you didn't ask but if the truth be known, I'm not overly crazy about being married by a make-believe Elvis in Las Vegas who doesn't even look like Elvis (just the clothes & those weird glasses)
 

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My older sister was married in the old grange hall in our town, cost mom $440 all told.

Younger sister was married in Pakistan and flew Mom there on their dime. Probably spent $8,000 total for everything.

Both sisters later divorced, but older had three kids, younger none. Older remarried twice more, but younger didn't.

I worked with a guy who was arranging his wedding. The film crew was $8,000 hall rental $6,000, catering $9,000. I told him, "That's a house down payment for everything!".....
 
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I remember growing up, every wedding was the same. Traditional church service with standard wedding march song. A large home style meal of chicken, potatoes (hand peeled), vegetables, bread, and pie. Free drinks (nothing fancy) and a polka band. And those big paper bells and streamers. It cost a bit, but was still affordable since the meal was a volunteer effort. I don’t think I saw any other wedding until I was about 20, and I was a bit surprised!
 
It doesn’t take a lot of money or a fancy wedding to make a lasting marriage.

We ran off and got married at the preachers house. Everyone we knew said it wouldn’t last and we didn’t like their attitude so we just took two friends with us. We dressed in the best clothes we had and didn’t buy new ones. We couldn’t afford a ring. When we got back we rented a motel room for a month until the little 1 bedroom house we rented behind a pizza restaurant was ready. Times were hard for awhile
but we pinched pennys until we got better jobs. We were married 47 years.
 
I think spending multiple thousands of dollars on a wedding is utterly ridiculous. My niece married an Italian. They are known for having the most extravagant, expensive weddings. Her dress was imported from Milan. The reception was at an exclusive banquet hall. Three hundred guests. Before the main meal, appetizers were served. There was a massive display in the centre of the room with an ice sculpture, surrounded by a martini bar, a schnapps bar, a sushi station, and god knows what else.

The main room was decorated with four-foot high centrepieces on the tables, voile and twinkle lights everywhere, dry ice floating across the dance floor. It was a five-course meal...prime rib for the main event.

The marriage last only 10 months. Turns out my niece and her husband didn't love each other as much as they thought. Ugh.

Even worse are the "bridezillas" who expect their wedding party and guests to spend thousands of dollars for their special destination wedding in the Caribbean or wherever and get pissed when people refuse to go. That wouldn't wash with me. I'd just tell them no, send them a card with a bit of money, and wish the selfish and entitled couple a happy life.
 
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squatting dog said:
We went down to city hall on my lunch break. The clerk grabbed some witness's from out in the hall and... wam... we were hitched.
I went back to work (at the junkyard down by Yankee stadium) so I could get an engine for my new wife's 57 chevy convertible. Musta done something right... 50 years and counting. (y) ♥️
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squatting dog said:
50 years and counting. (y) ♥️
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and another '57 Chevy
 
Georgiagranny said:
more important than the marriage? I just read an article about a newly-engaged woman who has chosen a destination wedding at that destination's most expensive time of year. Her BFF told her that she can't be there because it would cost $8,000 for her and her DH, and she just doesn't have it. The woman is incensed, expecting to be "supported" on her special day. She can't understand how much money that is? Whaaaat?
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I'd tell the entitled twat to find herself a new BFF.
 
Alligatorob said:
Expensive weddings never made sense to me.

Most young kids getting married are poor and just getting started. If people want to splurge on them help with a down payment on a house or something... Older folks getting married can pay for it themselves, then I am ok with whatever they want to do.
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I think I recognize the reasoning behind the pomp, but I can't make sense out of the reasoning.
 
1956, the church minister's home. He, his wife, our parents, and a couple of friends as witnesses. A meal with the friends at a local restaurant. and off to New Hampshire for a couple of days for our "honeymoon". Then back to my ship and off for a 45 day ocean Station patrol.

I will say that we had gone out for 2 years, and been engaged for 6 months before our marriage. Commonplace in our day but not resembling so many of the "quickie" marriages presently in vogue.
It's lasted 67 years but I'm still careful about my behavior around her. 😉
 
I dated a very high maintenance woman that comes from a very wealthy family on New Year’s Eve. She looks 25, but she’s 48, which is 13 years younger than me. We got into a discussion with two other couples and they were talking about their upcoming weddings. I did wonder why my date never married because she is very nice looking, wealthy and a kind person. She made the comment that she wants at least a $20,000 engagement ring and 300 guests at her wedding. I asked her what did Daddy think about all of this. She told us that he thought she should invite more. I quickly wrote her off my list of “maybes” and it was a shame because she had it all. But I knew she was privileged and high maintenance and was not what I was looking for. Are weddings really that big anymore?
 

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