Dreading Sunday with "sniper" step-daughter :(

Dealing with very resentful family for decades at this point. And yes they will take shots and let their version of zingers fly at any opportunity. They are the obsessed ones. They talk about family dinners unsolicited year round eagerly waiting or dreading the next one months in advance.

For what ever reason they let you live in their head 24/7 and it all comes out in a "safe" environment because they're hiding/using the 'I'm family" get out of jail free card. They tend to have a different version of events which is probably why they become obsessed because they're still trying to figure it out.

Maybe let some zingers fly of your own bringing it front and center-it will either get too intense and people will leave and not come back or boundaries will be set. I hate confrontation and it shouldn't come to that but sometimes that's the only thing bullies understand and that sniping is a form of bullying.
 
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In addition, since you've been married for more than 10 years, if his SS is more than yours, yours will be recalculated so that you'll get the difference between what you get and what his amounts to. For instance, if your SS is $1500/month and his is $2000/month, after a divorce, yours will be $2000/month, and the amount he gets won't be affected. (Forgive me, I don't do numbers so just chose some nice round numbers, but you get the idea.)
I stand corrected! In the case of divorce after having been married at least 10 years, you're entitled to 50% of his SS. Therefore, your SS would need to be LESS THAN 50% of his SS. You would get the difference between what you get and what it would take to get to 50% of his.
 

I think of Colleen every Sunday and check this thread to see if she's posted again. She probably got tired of us piling on with un-asked-for advice when she stated that she was just venting.
 
I think of Colleen every Sunday and check this thread to see if she's posted again. She probably got tired of us piling on with un-asked-for advice when she stated that she was just venting.
Yeah, I'm dying to know how things are working out, has she put her foot down and claimed her territory/home? Hope things are better for her.

I think it's a good idea for posters to state they're just venting, otherwise we can't blame responders to assume they're looking for solution ideas.
 
Yeah, I'm dying to know how things are working out, has she put her foot down and claimed her territory/home? Hope things are better for her.

I think it's a good idea for posters to state they're just venting, otherwise we can't blame responders to assume they're looking for solution ideas.
Yes I agree I’m always trying to find solutions to problems for people I guess it comes from being a counselor for so many years.
 
This is a tough one but I figure that you are at your home which makes you the boss. The step-daughter is your guest. She should have some manners & behave herself. Be sure to get your husband on your side regarding this problem, after all he married you & this daughter has grown up & left home years ago. He is suppose to be loyal to you. The daughter is only a guest. Don't let her push you around, no matter how big she is or thinks she is.
 
She did say she was venting!
Oh, darn, my apologies! She did say it = "I'm just venting. Maybe it will help to say it to someone here that's not involved. "

I guess us posters just have this imperative desire to try to fix things, I know I would never let that crap go beyond the second time.
 
Colleen with all you have written, I cannot fathom why you are still in this relationship. You are the "biggest disappointment in his life?" Well, that would have been "sayonara baby" for me. I too, am an R.N. and I know I could get a job anywhere and be able to live independently today. Totally puzzled by this.
 
I too, am an R.N. and I know I could get a job anywhere and be able to live independently today. Totally puzzled by this.
Lewkat, Colleen didn't like nursing and pursued another career. It's not likely that she'd sign back up to do something she didn't like.
 


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