"Elderly", "Old" or "Mature" - What's YOUR Label?

S

SifuPhil

R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
Location
Pennsylvania, USA
55 is a strange age. I'm not "elderly", I'm "old" to anyone under 30, and as for "mature" - naw, that ain't me.
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Personally I'm not a big fan of labels - they tend to be misleading, because they stereotype a person without having the good manners to first really learn about that person. "Old" in particular is a term that depends almost entirely upon perception - as I said, I'm "old" in a 30-year-old's eyes, but "young" when seen by a 90-year-old.

It's a Zen thing - you need both sides in order to understand the whole.

Now, "elderly" to me is more of an insult. For some reason "elderly" sounds negative, as if you're knocking on Death's door and are so frail that a stiff wind could break your bones.

I vote we eliminate "elderly" from our vocabularies.

And "mature" ... well, I've always thought that maturity is a state of mind. Some young ("immature") children are old beyond their years, while quite a few of us adults act and think like children.

Thank Buddha. I hope I NEVER grow up.

So what's your label - what do you prefer to be called, or do you just want to be known as YOU?
 

So what's your label - what do you prefer to be called, or do you just want to be known as YOU?
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I don't like the labels..I have a hard enough time wrapping my mind around the fact that I'm not 35 anymore. I have enough physical reminders that I am no longer in the prime of my life without someone calling me elderly. I may start to believe it if I hear it enough!
 
My feeling, exactly. Sometimes, descriptions are necessary . . . we may not identify with the labels our culture/society loves to throw at us but it can help with identification (huh?). Rather, it can be a differentiation tool. Is something or someone young or old, big or small, male or female . . . ? You get the idea. Still, don't you be callin' me nothin' 'cept . . . SIR!

A group of us from high school keep in touch and try to get together a couple times a year. I think it all started out as the reunion committee . . . Anyway, at one picnic, I noticed how boring people were being and I just said out loud to anyone in earshot, "Man, YOU PEOPLE are OLD!" Laughter all around . . .
 

Yeah, I don't like labels either and I certainly don't feel old. I've heard the term "seasoned" as in having seen many seasons. I'd prefer that over "elderly" although it does remind one of a marinated piece of meat or something. I think I'm in "mid life" as I plan to live for a very long time. Really though, age is just a system for describing how long you have been alive and to me, really has nothing to do with one's state of mind which is the important part.
 
Hmmm....I do often use the term 'elderly', since to me, it sounds more respectful than 'old'. Seasoned is ok with me, as that is kind of how I see myself, having gone through a lot of good and bad, as we all have, and coming to terms with all of those things as a part of life.....if that makes sense. Maybe an 'old kid' wouldn't be such a bad term?? :D

I suppose it depends on how we perceive it. I've always enjoyed the company of older people; hearing their stories and hopefully learning something from their experiences.
So, if I use 'elderly' here, I mean no disrespect toward anyone...after all, I'm getting elderly, too. I'm just not quite there, yet. :playful:
 
Ozarkgal said:
I don't like the labels..I have a hard enough time wrapping my mind around the fact that I'm not 35 anymore. I have enough physical reminders that I am no longer in the prime of my life without someone calling me elderly. I may start to believe it if I hear it enough!
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Ditto all that.

When I was still working on the PT job, my very young boss and I got in a conversation about one of the older clients. I hadn't realized just how old the woman was and I exclaimed to my boss "is she THAT old?!?" My boss laughed and said "I hate to remind you but the two of you are the same age".

From the calendar's point of view, "I'm old ya know", when it's to my advantage - lol lol

From my point of view, I am somewhat physically impaired only from the life I've chosen to live. Mental impairment has always been present:confused:

I tend to look at some folks my age as old. I look at others my age the same as I look at myself - we're in a time warp and old doesn't exist; only the ravages it causes from various forms of hard living:eek:nthego:
 
It's funny but I sometimes catch myself describing some one as an 'old' man or women and then I realize the person I'm talking about is younger than me!

SifuPhil, you're barely old enough to be called a senior, old or elderly and certainly not mature:p
 
I like the term elder. As in respect your elders, or maybe even elderly, but best of all, elder abuse. I remind the family kids to be very careful around me as they may be charged with elder abuse for so much as disagreeing with me!

Sifu, you ain't none of such terms; certainly not elderly, so don't worry about that for about 15 years at least. And rkunsaw, you nailed Sifu perfectly. I'm sure he appreciates such honest writing. :D
 
I remember when I was 55, and the term "senior discount" seemed like an insult to me. Then, I started enjoying the little discounts from the stores and restaurants, and now, I happily tell people "Don't forget my Senior Discount " . Since I am now getting a lot closer to the big 7-0 , I suppose it is time that I get used to this, and I think I like Senior better than old, or elderly, or any of the other names that go with the age. As long as I can joke about it, I think everything is fine .
 
My older sister jokingly told me on my 60th birthday, that I was officially an 'old bag', lol! I told her I've been an old bag for the past ten years! :playful: I have a friend that's almost twenty years my senior, and I do describe her as my elderly friend...not because of her age, but because she has a lot of medical issues, and walks with a cane, and is really becoming quite frail. I mean no disrespect.

I think I'm still at the age where people would just refer to me as that lady or that woman, not necessarily that old lady, or that senior woman. I've never had a problem telling my age to anyone, I'm happy to still be alive and fairly healthy. Still a bit too young for most senior discounts to kick in, but I'll take advantage when they do! Sifuphil, you're still a spring chicken!! ;)
 
TWHRider said:
I tend to look at some folks my age as old. I look at others my age the same as I look at myself - we're in a time warp and old doesn't exist; only the ravages it causes from various forms of hard living:eek:nthego:
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I know what you mean, I've worked with some younger people who seemed as old or older than me in some ways, attitude, ways of dressing, etc. In my head I'm still a twenty year old, when I look in the mirror it's a reality check, lol! Sometimes when we're watching the aging rock-n-rollers on the TV still performing, my husband will say, wow, look at him, he looks so old. I tell him that he looks great, and I'm glad to see those rockers still performing in concerts. And all the folks in the audience are grey haired or balding. :cool: I personally can't believe how much time has passed really, since I was there as a teen watching Sly & The Family Stone, or Cream in person. :sentimental:
 
Great responses, all!

@rkunsaw - thank you for not forcing the "mature" label on me - that would be a fate worse than death.

@fishwisher - I don't know, Fish - I had a gangsta-type hold a door open for me today - I almost whoopsed in my pants! :playful: The rest of the day I'm telling myself, "I don't look THAT old, do I?"

@Happyflowerlady - You know, that's been the oddest thing I've encountered so far. A few local places like buffets offer a "senior discount" to anyone 50 and over.

I would feel like an imposter asking for it!

@SeaBreeze - I don't know about the Spring Chicken bit - how's about Summer Guinea Hen?

I've certainly passed the Spring of my life ... Summer seems to have just ended a year or two ago, and now I'm enjoying the Fall ... Winter lies ahead ...

And those rockers? They're only still going because of superior drugs! :cool:
 
It's interesting to me how people handle age. I have a friend who is my age (65) she dresses in polyester pastel slacks and shirts with quilted, embroidered pictures or plaid seersucker. I see "old" women (older than me ) shopping in the Junior Department buying the jeggings, tights, sheer blouses and little short shirts.
me, I'm somewhere in between, I do know, without a doubt, spandex was not made for "mature women". Neither was the glittery eye shadow.
I label myself "Successful " ! I have had a quite interesting life, with many ups and downs, big downs ! I have raised 5 children and done many things that most only hope to do.
I know some stuff, not everything, but a lotta stuff. I've see things, some things my eyes won't forget and I've certainly heard it ALL.
So, yes "Successful" after all this I'm still kickin, reasonably sane and just as broke as ever but happy as a fat kid with cake!
 
I guess age is largely a state of mind...my mind, half the time seems detached from my body and living in another state..

Seriously though, sometimes I look in the mirror, and for an instant I'm shocked to see who's looking back. Who is that stranger, that is 30 years older than my mind tells me. On the other hand, the creaks and pains in my body are telling me I'm 20 years older...what to believe!!

I guess if you average it all out, I'm the age I am, or in Popeye's famous line, "I yam, what I yam, and that's all that I yam."

Oh, and those rockers...in addition to the drugs, they have doctors that can work wonders on their physical appearance and personal trainers that keep them in shape. Having access to copious piles of cash can buy you more youth.
 
Other than grandkids calling me "GrandPa" I'll try to keep "Adult" for as long as I can (although some might argue I haven't made THAT yet!).
 
The trick is to always keep learning new things and not get stuck doing things just one way. I see that every day, older folks who have lost the desire to learn things on their own, they expect us to show them EVERYTHING instead of at least giving it a try. Part of this is that they have the money to buy electronic gadgets but are somewhat spoiled in having others set them up.

I will not accept "I can't" but remind them that they know many things I do not and that doesn't make me stupid but ignorant. Ignorance is curable but stupidity is not.
 
I think "old" is a state of mind more than anything but it does help if you have brain cells left over from youthful experimentation with mind altering substances.
 
Once my mind was sufficiently altered, I realized that it's life and life only and we're all just passin' thru . . . Still, the plan has been to stick around until the end and see what happens. I agree that "old" is a state of mind but wish I could convince my tired old bones about that.
 
hmm there's no ma'am option.
The cashier at ShopRite asked ma'am a question so naturally I turned around to see who the hell he was speaking to.
There wasn't anyone behind me lol


 
SeaSparkle said:
hmm there's no ma'am option.
The cashier at ShopRite asked ma'am a question so naturally I turned around to see who the hell he was speaking to.
There wasn't anyone behind me lol


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I've gotten into a lot of hot water over the use of "ma'am". Most of the time it's because they don't like the sense of age it bestows on them, but a few of them figure out that it's a contraction of "madam", and they take offense at being referred to as the leader of a house of easy virtue.

The thing is, with someone like me, once I know they don't like it I'll use it until my last breath. :p
 
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