There's a story in there... one of resilience and strength too.
Envy and jealousy. What are some triggers?
- Thread starter LadyEmeraude
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RadishRose
SF VIP
- Location
- Connecticut, USA
I think constant comparison and bragging are sure signs of envy/jealousy....which is caused by low self esteem.
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Sunkist
Member
That's similar to what I read on a forum many years ago.
Sunkist
Member
And:
My viewpoint is this topic explains the Reiner tragedy..
I haven't paid much attention to celebrities since I was a kid, but from what I've read:
a) Rob R. and his wife did not wreck themselves or their lives with drugs;
b) had accomplishments and recognition that they earned and deserved;
In contrast, their son could not say either of those things about himself.
So the logical conclusion is he was so enraged at his parents over these two issues that he cold-bloodedly murdered them.
That's true.
Murrmurr
SF VIP
- Location
- Sacramento, California
Only my pride was hurt.
But seriously, yeah it's a story of betrayal and divorce and a big fat mess. When you get down to it, we just married too young. Our eyes weren't open yet, know what I mean?
Thinking back to my childhood, I guess I was both at times, but as I matured that all faded away. I have no jealousy or envious bones in my body as of today. Growing up, my family was considered well off thanks to my paternal grandfather, who came to this country from Greece.
However, even though I got most of what I would asked for, I would still be envious or jealous of my best friend, Bruce, if he would get an item I wanted, but never asked for. That doesn’t mean I would ask for it, I knew the envy and/or jealousy would eventually go away, so I waited.
When he got his car first, I was seething with envy. He got a black/white ‘57 Chevrolet 2-door HT. I wanted one like it, but my dad refused to buy me one. So, I took $50 out of my cigar box where I kept my spending money and bought a jalopy, 1950 Olds Rocket 88. I put what seemed like tons of money in that old heap. It was fun to work on and also very educational for me and my dad.
I remember Dad becoming so frustrated when we were trying to repair the emergency brake that he went out and bought a Chilton manual for my car. Dad said he was ready to fix anything on my “money pit.”
It was because of that car we bought a scissor and a floor Jack, 2 jack stands, some tools we didn’t have, a case of oil 10W30, a slide hammer and many other special tools and a truckload of parts.
However, even though I got most of what I would asked for, I would still be envious or jealous of my best friend, Bruce, if he would get an item I wanted, but never asked for. That doesn’t mean I would ask for it, I knew the envy and/or jealousy would eventually go away, so I waited.
When he got his car first, I was seething with envy. He got a black/white ‘57 Chevrolet 2-door HT. I wanted one like it, but my dad refused to buy me one. So, I took $50 out of my cigar box where I kept my spending money and bought a jalopy, 1950 Olds Rocket 88. I put what seemed like tons of money in that old heap. It was fun to work on and also very educational for me and my dad.
I remember Dad becoming so frustrated when we were trying to repair the emergency brake that he went out and bought a Chilton manual for my car. Dad said he was ready to fix anything on my “money pit.”
It was because of that car we bought a scissor and a floor Jack, 2 jack stands, some tools we didn’t have, a case of oil 10W30, a slide hammer and many other special tools and a truckload of parts.
David777
Well-known Member
- Location
- Silicon Valley
Men generally tend to be very competitive with some men greatly so. As someone near the top of my field in electronic hardware testing, such in some employment was often an issue with a few other less skilled and knowledgeable techs that saw me as an impossible impediment into higher paying positions. Thus a few would work to damage me behind my back.
Many men are very pecking order oriented by physical size. Note I was brought up in very white suburban worlds without the many like short ethnic men that are common today. Since I was usually the smallest male both growing up in K12 schools, in the military, and then in employment, that also was a factor in envy. I played a lot of team sports and whenever I entered a new school, was always the last to be picked until others noticed I had high athletic skills.
Despite rising to elite levels at workplaces, managers and HR people, universally tend to avoid promoting small men into positions managing other men because of that size pecking order behavior. Although I have no problem telling others what to do, I was only allowed to often lead but not manage that was fine because I generally don't like having to deal with motivating or explaining behavior to flawed personalities.
Many larger men have an especially natural dislike seeing smaller men with attractive women. It is much more so within social groups of men pursuing women. That has caused this person over decades to avoid being parts of such groups. In bars and clubs, some will be quick to cause a physical confrontation, expecting other males to be baited so. Some men (especially in the military) will even hit on attractive wives of any smaller men that reflects their general disgusting morality.
Many men are very pecking order oriented by physical size. Note I was brought up in very white suburban worlds without the many like short ethnic men that are common today. Since I was usually the smallest male both growing up in K12 schools, in the military, and then in employment, that also was a factor in envy. I played a lot of team sports and whenever I entered a new school, was always the last to be picked until others noticed I had high athletic skills.
Despite rising to elite levels at workplaces, managers and HR people, universally tend to avoid promoting small men into positions managing other men because of that size pecking order behavior. Although I have no problem telling others what to do, I was only allowed to often lead but not manage that was fine because I generally don't like having to deal with motivating or explaining behavior to flawed personalities.
Many larger men have an especially natural dislike seeing smaller men with attractive women. It is much more so within social groups of men pursuing women. That has caused this person over decades to avoid being parts of such groups. In bars and clubs, some will be quick to cause a physical confrontation, expecting other males to be baited so. Some men (especially in the military) will even hit on attractive wives of any smaller men that reflects their general disgusting morality.
I think it is ok t o be jealous or envious ( differences seem blurred to me) - i n itself not destructive or sign of insecurity etc that people claim.
You can feel how you feel. - what isnt ok of course is acting destructively or rudely to others over it
I dont think sign of maturity is not feeling jealous - it is having the maturity to accept jealousy and behave accordingly - one can be jealous of somebody and happy for them at same time.
You can feel how you feel. - what isnt ok of course is acting destructively or rudely to others over it
I dont think sign of maturity is not feeling jealous - it is having the maturity to accept jealousy and behave accordingly - one can be jealous of somebody and happy for them at same time.
RambleTamble
Member
- Location
- U.S.
I get jealous of people whose parents weren't complete f*cktards, which is like 95% of people out there... maybe even more. When I read about someone who is or was successful, I look to see what their parents did, and at a bare minimum, they provided a stable and loving environment for their children. They sure as hell didn't do everything they could to destroy their children's self-esteem.
There have been a few exceptions to that. Some successful people came from bad environments. Jim Morrison is a good example, but he was also an alcoholic and died after taking a hit of heroin.
There have been a few exceptions to that. Some successful people came from bad environments. Jim Morrison is a good example, but he was also an alcoholic and died after taking a hit of heroin.
