Estrangement : Have you ever Gone No contact with a Parent , child or close family member?

I'm a firm believer you get to choose who to have in your life. I barely have any relationship with my siblings, they're just not the type of people I want to have in my life.
 

I basically walked away from a lot of my family. It seemed like no matter the situation there were those that wanted to do nothing but create drama. It is still kind of fresh for me to want to talk about it, but I know I do feel better now that certain people are no longer in my life.
 
Remy said:
... My mentally ill mother was the abuser, but always the victim. How their minds do this, I could never understand.
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and this; There is a saying about them "the bride at every wedding and the deceased at every funeral." It's always, always, always about them. They can't even stand a day all about a 7 year old on their birthday.

You're describing Paxton's mother, right down to the birthday thing. She hit the ceiling because his dad was going to get Paxton a cake for his 3rd birthday after the twins (her showpieces) only had cupcakes, so his dad just brought him here and dropped him off. Took me under an hour to phone out invitations and order a cake, and then Michelle went and bought decorations and gifts. Next day, we had an awesome birthday party for him.

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Yeah, his mom has a personality disorder. And he feels unloved, unwanted (by his mother), and unhappy; on the defensive all the time. She's freaking ruining a perfectly happy, delightful kid.
 
Pepper said:
I'm not the dumper, I'm the dumpee. My sister and her whole family, my nephews included, dumped me in 2003. I don't know why, I can't make any needed amends. My heart is broken, but there is nothing I can do.
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That was partly the case with me. It seems that I sinned greatly when I got a college degree. Then again when I met a wonderful man and got married. How dare I! So the cut off in many cases, is mutual.
 
It is a shame that people are that way. Here is a favorite quote I mine I think I have posted before, buy it applies.

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living
 
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I will never forget the feeling of relief , and freedom I felt when I cut my father and his evil bride out of my life... it was like I'd stepped though the wardrobe into Narnia.. into a new world.. where their Evil acts couldn't touch me any more .. the sheer weight off shoulders became palpable very quickly... and I lived my life as if they didn't even exist.
 
My sister (64) and brother (76) hate each other but my brother lives in a barn on her property and he takes showers at her house and does his laundry there. They recently had another blowup so my brother wanted me to intervene....and he mentioned using my shower and laundry. I said nope, ain't going to happen, not even once.

I refuse to let them pollute my world.
 
My brother and his wife really have nothing to do with me and I don't really know why.

I had to leave my facebook acct. and create an alias to politely dump my dad's fb off at the curb because he was being so rude to me that I couldn't handle it anymore. I talk to him in email now and that's it.
 
C50 said:
My sister (64) and brother (76) hate each other but my brother lives in a barn on her property and he takes showers at her house and does his laundry there. They recently had another blowup so my brother wanted me to intervene....and he mentioned using my shower and laundry. I said nope, ain't going to happen, not even once.

I refuse to let them pollute my world.
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what a toxic set up... yikes!!
 
MarciKS said:
My brother and his wife really have nothing to do with me and I don't really know why.

I had to leave my facebook acct. and create an alias to politely dump my dad's fb off at the curb because he was being so rude to me that I couldn't handle it anymore. I talk to him in email now and that's it.
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Dear oh dear... if he can be rude to you on FB, then that's what he 's thinking :oops:
 
MarciKS said:
I finally left facebook the day I posted something about Covid and he told me I sounded like a MAGAt. I deleted my acct. that day and informed him I had left facebook and would just email him. He didn't like that but it's the only way I can tolerate communicating with him.
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'scuse my ignorance.. what's a MAGAt ?
 
Kika said:
It's really amazing isn't it!! I never went to any of my graduations, because I never knew what she would do. No one knows my birthday, because it has such a negative connotation to me.

I saw how different my friend's families were and one day it just hit me that this was no way to live. I started saving $$ for my escape when I was 13.
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Wow, I wish I had your insight and ability. I didn't have that as an adult.

At my previous job, they used to post employee birthdays. I went to the front office and asked that mine not be posted. They complied.

I wouldn't even bore people with the list of things my mother ruined. The ones I remember anyway
 
Remy said:
At my previous job, they used to post employee birthdays. I went to the front office andI asked that mine not be posted. They complied.
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I did exactly the same thing. You could be my twin!!

I'm thinking that I learned to be self-sufficient at a very early age because I had no one to fall back on. Starting from 11 or 12 yrs old I babysat, washed dogs, washed cars, and then at 13 got an after-school job and saved as much money as I could. Graduated HS at 16, turned 17 a few months later and off I went.
 
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