Etiquette/manners. Do's and don'ts. What you prefer.

Singers on stage wear baseball caps. People in restaurants wear baseball caps. Young ladies wear baseball caps. Farmers spreading manure on the field wear baseball caps. I dislike baseball caps. They are cheap and most farm equipment companies give them away for free for the advertising value here in Canada.

I have 6 hats and not one is a baseball cap because I do not follow the crowd. I have a wonderful hat which comes from Donegal, Ireland. Brand, "Hanna Hats." It boils down to what you consider good taste. If I was going out some place, I would wear one of the hats on the left side. If I was working, killing pigs, I would probably wear the other hat. Fortunately, I don't work killing pigs. LOL
 

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charry said:
my hubby also worked at the bbc holly/....he designed all the equipment in the studios
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which studios Charry ?

My husband and I were/are both production staff, I was a researcher, but not going to say on here what he does, he's the Boss on a very well known show...
 

Jules said:
It’s usually when the maître de starts to push it back in, it feels uncomfortable. If the chair is just pulled out, it’s fine. Maybe they think I’m too small to move it myself.
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For the life of me , I can't understand why you would feel uncomfortable. The Maitre D' does not think you can''t do it yourself. He is merely displaying respect. Besides, if there were two men sitting at that deuce, he would do the same for one of the men.

Now days, there are no genders. If the maitre D' placed the man facing the crowd of patrons and the woman faced only the gentleman, I guarantee that soon there would be an uproar from customers. Jeez, I have lived too long.

If some women wish to be treated exactly the same as a man, then certainly she can move the damn refrigerator (to clean under it ) by herself.
 
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Most, but not all, etiquette rules strike me as unnecessary.

My husband's brother had brain surgery and until his hair grew back fully he wore a very sharp fedora at all times, including at my daughter's wedding. Even after his hair was fully back he often wore hats because he'd come to like them. We were so happy to have him alive (he was given a 5% chance of survival), that I would have been thrilled to see him if he showed up in a clown suit.

At my daughter's wedding, five months after his surgery, he danced with her (hat and all) and I'm here to tell you there wasn't a dry eye among those who knew the backstory.

So no, I don't give a rat's patoot about people wearing hat indoors or outdoors.

Opening doors? Pfffttt.... Who cares? In Los Angeles a woman is as likely to open the door as a man - the unspoken courtesy is whomever arrives at the door first opens it, whether it's your companion or a stranger exiting or entering at nearly the same time. Male or female. It works just fine.

I never cared for someone shuffling my chair in for me - it's an awkward dance that I wind up doing alone after being "helped." Bottom line - only the "sitters" can know when we're at our exact comfortable distance from the table, the "sittees" are merely guessing.

There's a big difference between being a caring human who is truly interested in the comfort and welfare of others and those who've merely mastered the rules of etiquette. Jeffrey Dahmer, who killed and dismembered 17 boys and men, cannibalizing some, was known to be very polite. No doubt he also knew which fork to use...
 
chic said:
OOOOh No! I worked with a British guy when I was a teenager. He was horrible. We worked in a retail store and both of my arms were loaded with heavy boxes and I said to him, "Richard can you help me please?" He turned to me and said, "Are you a cripple?" I swear he was that rude. If I had had a free hand I would have hit him. Anyway all the other Brit guys I worked with were very nice and after Richard went into the royal navy he came back to visit us and he was as polite as they make 'em. Like they gave him a personality transplant or something. You can't judge people of an entire nation from a single experience, but he was outrageously rude at first. Unforgettably so. :oops:
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Ignorant pig !!! He must of Fancied you chic 😂
hollydolly said:
which studios Charry ?

My husband and I were/are both production staff, I was a researcher, but not going to say on here what he does, he's the Boss on a very well known show...
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most of the studios in the 70s where Hughie green and Lionel Blair was
 
senior chef said:
For the life of me , I can't understand why you would feel uncomfortable. The Maitre D' does not think you can''t do it yourself. He is merely displaying respect. Besides, if there were two men sitting at that deuce, he would do the same for one of the men.

Now days, there are no genders. If the maitre D' placed the man facing the crowd of patrons and the woman faced only the gentleman, I guarantee that soon there would be an uproar from customers. Jeez, I have lived too long.

If some women wish to be treated exactly the same as a man, then certainly she can move the damn refrigerator (to clean under it ) by herself.
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I do so. Have always done so. My fridge has rollers.
 
Okay...I'm 75. I remember the days when a man opening the door (car or otherwise) and pulling the chair out for you was the sign of a gentleman. I like that. I know some women feel they don't need that done for them. Do I need it done...No, but I like when those things are done. Why kill a man's chivalry if he wants to display it?! There are enough rude men out here; I appreciate the ones who are not.

Hats at the table are also a no no unless like someone said its at a casual eatery counter. Because really, where would a man put his hat when just sitting at a counter?
 
StarSong said:
Opening doors? Pfffttt.... Who cares? In Los Angeles a woman is as likely to open the door as a man - the unspoken courtesy is whomever arrives at the door first opens it, whether it's your companion or a stranger exiting or entering at nearly the same time. Male or female. It works just fine.

I never cared for someone shuffling my chair in for me - it's an awkward dance that I wind up doing alone after being "helped." Bottom line - only the "sitters" can know when we're at our exact comfortable distance from the table, the "sittees" are merely guessing.
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In my entire life no woman has EVER opened a door for me. Not once !

Re: helping women. Once I was traveling in a heavy winter storm and I spotted a car stuck in a snow drift. I pulled over and offered to pull the drivers car out. THEN I spotted a bumper sticker, "No woman needs a man, and can do anything a man can do". I stopped attaching a tow rope and told her, "So, women can do anything a man can do ? Ok, call a feminist." I got back in my truck and drove away.
 
LadyEmeraude said:
I am thinking along the lines of, opening a car door for a woman, pulling out her
chair in a restaurant before she sits, nice things like this...and of course other things
also.

Would it bother you if your date, spouse, friend, wore a hat at the dinner table, either at home or
in a public eating place.

So, this topic then is open ended, just however you might feel about any of it, or even things you
might want to add.
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I sometimes open a car door for a woman, not usually but whenever it seems appropriate and she appreciates it. When I was younger did it a lot more often. Back when we had mechanical keys opening the passenger door for a woman seemed to make more sense.

Not sure I have ever pulled out a chair for someone else, nor have I often seen others do it.

I rarely wear a hat at the table, only outdoors in the sun at a picnic table. Around here cowboy hats are worn most everywhere, by some, not me.

I think being nice to people, and conforming to what others think is appropriate (within limits) is always the right thing to do.
 
I hold doors open for folks of all ages and genders. It often leads to an enjoyable bit of banter between us although I have experienced some rude reactions from women but I just shrug it off and let it go. Since I am a geezer who limps, people occasionally hold the door for me. I always thank them pleasantly
 
senior chef said:
In my entire life no woman has EVER opened a door for me. Not once !

Re: helping women. Once I was traveling in a heavy winter storm and I spotted a car stuck in a snow drift. I pulled over and offered to pull the drivers car out. THEN I spotted a bumper sticker, "No woman needs a man, and can do anything a man can do". I stopped attaching a tow rope and told her, "So, women can do anything a man can do ? Ok, call a feminist." I got back in my truck and drove away.
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So. You just explained why no woman would open a door for you. I'm not nice to jerks either.
 
senior chef said:
In my entire life no woman has EVER opened a door for me. Not once !

Re: helping women. Once I was traveling in a heavy winter storm and I spotted a car stuck in a snow drift. I pulled over and offered to pull the drivers car out. THEN I spotted a bumper sticker, "No woman needs a man, and can do anything a man can do". I stopped attaching a tow rope and told her, "So, women can do anything a man can do ? Ok, call a feminist." I got back in my truck and drove away.
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Go look in the mirror and say the magic incantation:

"Owah-tajer-kayam".

Say it slowly at first and then fast.
 
I am not married, but I still date. Before we go out for the evening, I ask my date how they wish me to proceed? Should I open car doors, pull out her chair at the table, walk with her being on the inside if we are on a sidewalk, etc. Most women tell me to do whatever makes me happy. I do notice that many women still like receiving flowers the day after a date, if things went well, but no longer wish to get chocolates.
 
RadishRose said:
Go look in the mirror and say the magic incantation:

"Owah-tajer-kayam".

Say it slowly at first and then fast.
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I didn't start the feminist v. men war. Nor did I try to turn the world upside down, by pretending that genders mean nothing.
However, I do get a good laugh occasionally by women who forget they are women, and try to be every bit as tough as men.
Kinda like a youngster who thinks he/she knows it all.
 
senior chef said:
I didn't start the feminist v. men war. Nor did I try to turn the world upside down, by pretending that genders mean nothing.
However, I do get a good laugh occasionally by women who forget they are women, and try to be every bit as tough as men.
Kinda like a youngster who thinks he/she knows it all.
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With those modern attitudes it's hard to understand why you're single.
 
senior chef said:
However, I do get a good laugh occasionally
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I think you get more than the occasional laugh out of it.

You must like stirring the pot, you are very good at it. You do an excellent job of laying out the stereotypical male chauvinist. You are quite consistent, and articulate in doing so. No one raises ire better than you. You have also given us some great exchanges.

I suspect in real life you are not so... "crusty", for lack of a better word as your posts suggest.
 
Alligatorob said:
I think you get more than the occasional laugh out of it.

You must like stirring the pot, you are very good at it. You do an excellent job of laying out the stereotypical male chauvinist. You are quite consistent, and articulate in doing so. No one raises ire better than you. You have also given us some great exchanges.

I suspect in real life you are not so... "crusty", for lack of a better word as your posts suggest.
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Yep, I do enjoy a good give and take.
Now that I am deaf, and I haven't had a conversation with anyone in years, this forum is the only way I can communicate/debate.
Oh, well. :)
 
senior chef said:
I was raised to ALWAYS open doors, pull out chairs, for women. Also, to ALWAYS put my body between danger and her. Like for example when walking in the city and a group of toughs is partially blocking the sidewalk.
At one time, when walking in the street, it was customary for the gentleman to walk nearest the street while she walked further from the street. This kept women from being splashed by mud and a horses 'mess'. This clanged somewhat when cars become common and thugs were standing in the shadows.

In classy/expensive restaurants, it is traditional for women to be seated first, so that she is facing the restaurant patrons and HE is facing ONLY HER. The employee who shows the couple to their table, traditionally slides the small deuce out and away so she may sit facing the crowd, When she is seated, the employee then slides the table back in place so he may sit.

I don't date anymore , but if I did, and a woman complained about my good manners, THAT would be the last time I ever dated her.
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It's interesting you mentioned about walking in the city and "for the gentleman to walk nearer the street!" My late husband always did that. Also with the seating arrangement in the restaurant.
 
Teacher Terry said:
I like good manners and if I am opening a door and see someone coming I hold it open and appreciate when people do that for me. I don’t care about the hats at all unless as someone met it’s huge and in the way.
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Me, too! Also, in my town, I'm seeing it more lately. The other day, I went to three places, and in each case, as I approached the entrance, the man entering the door saw me, and stood there holding the door open for me. I felt so special! Of course, I rushed toward the door so he wouldn't wait too long. Three doors opened by men in one day! Come to think of it, did I look like I needed assistance? :unsure:
 
StarSong said:
I never cared for someone shuffling my chair in for me - it's an awkward dance that I wind up doing alone after being "helped." Bottom line - only the "sitters" can know when we're at our exact distance from the table, the "sittees" are merely guessing.
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Man, Starry, that saved me a lot of keystrokes!
'Merely guessing'

Much like tickling someone who's not ticklish

....awkward

 
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