Ever buy a thoughtful gift to have it treated dismissively?

[Fyrefox]

Some people invest time if not money to select that “perfect gift” for someone tailored to their special interests only to have it treated dismissively by the recipient. Has this ever happened to you?

My mother was famous for either returning or worse yet, “re-gifting“ unwanted gifts regardless of the thoughtfulness or effort put into its selection. I’ve always felt that one should honor the giver if not the gift itself by receiving it warmly.

What are your thoughts, and have you ever had bad gifting experiences?

 

[hollydolly]

Some people invest time if not money to select that “perfect gift” for someone tailored to their special interests only to have it treated dismissively by the recipient. Has this ever happened to you?

My mother was famous for either returning or worse yet, “re-gifting“ unwanted gifts regardless of the thoughtfulness or effort put into its selection. I’ve always felt that one should honor the giver if not the gift itself by receiving it warmly.

What are your thoughts, and have you ever had bad gifting experiences?

Yep, my daughter does it all the time. I've stopped buying for her... she will just hand it back and say ''no thanks, I don't have any use for that''... I was horrified the first time she did that.. and after the 3rd time.. I stopped buying anything for her..

 

[dilettante]

Could be worse, your child might give you a basket of fruit.

 

[Tommy]

. . . it happens. Also the other side of the coin. You receive a nice gift from someone but it's something you simply have no use for. How does one handle that?

 

[Gary O']

What are your thoughts, and have you ever had bad gifting experiences?

No
I don't give gifts much
I've given a few of my avian abodes as gifts, but with a disclaimer;
'If it's not your taste, give it to someone else'



Wife knits gifts
We figure they can do whatever they wish with them, since they're gifts

Her filthy rich sister does love those knitted socks
Can't find such things in stores no matter the price

 

[oldaunt]

Could be worse, your child might give you a basket of fruit.

I would love the fruit.....

 

[oldaunt]

No
I don't give gifts much
I've given a few of my avian abodes as gifts, but with a disclaimer;
'If it's not your taste, give it to someone else'

View attachment 323715

Wife knits gifts
We figure they can do whatever they wish with them, since they're gifts

Her filthy rich sister does love those knitted socks
Can't find such things in stores no matter the price

Wow! Hand knitted wool socks are a treasure, and that little house is a work of art.

 

[Bella]

Some people invest time if not money to select that “perfect gift” for someone tailored to their special interests only to have it treated dismissively by the recipient. Has this ever happened to you?

My mother was famous for either returning or worse yet, “re-gifting“ unwanted gifts regardless of the thoughtfulness or effort put into its selection. I’ve always felt that one should honor the giver if not the gift itself by receiving it warmly.

What are your thoughts, and have you ever had bad gifting experiences?

Don't be an asshat. No matter what you're given, always receive it graciously. It can be as simple as, “Thank you; that was very thoughtful of you.”

On the other hand, if someone was so rude as to “dismiss” a gift I gave them, they wouldn't have to worry about me giving them another one.

 

[hollydolly]

. . . it happens. Also the other side of the coin. You receive a nice gift from someone but it's something you simply have no use for. How does one handle that?

the same way as my daughter does..hand it back !


I, OTOH, could never do it.. despite knowing I have no use for a gift, I will always thanks someone profusely for it... then find something else to do with it...usually donate it..

 

[Lewkat]

My son is like Holly's daughter. It seems that nothing I choose for him pleases him. Yet, the very same golf polo shirts I've gotten him that he refused, I will see him wearing at a later date. Wonder who gave those to him?

 

[Gary O']

Also the other side of the coin. You receive a nice gift from someone but it's something you simply have no use for. How does one handle that?

I thank them and give it to someone that likes or needs it

Much like I say when giving a gift;

'If it's not your taste, give it to someone else'

Some folks are so enthralled with their gift to you, they ask later how you like it, or look around for it when visiting....

I just tell 'em it's in good hands
and leave it at that

 

[Rose65]

Wow, I thought I had written this topic. Exactly my experience.
My mother and some other members of my family are so ungracious as to tell me they don't like a present and to return it. I got heartily sick of it and I regard this attitude as the worst discourteous behaviour.
I never do that. No matter what the present I receive I thank the person, always say something positive about it. If it really is unsuitable I have occasionally given it away to a charity shop etc. But I would never do what my mother used to do.

 

[Nathan]

Could be worse, your child might give you a basket of fruit.

A basket of fruit would be perfect, for either giving or receiving. I'm making a note of that for future gifting.

 

[C50]

I truly don't like receiving gifts but would NEVER dismiss the kindness of the gesture.

Also I've never had someone simply dismiss or refuse a gift I've given. They may toss it aside later though!

 

[dilettante]

These days I only give gifts to my sons, their SOs, my grandson, and my ex and her husband. Most of those are tokens like a folding-blade keychain knife or flashlight, lady's cape wrap, good quality lip balm, unusual men's after shave, etc. Then the boys get cash.

 

[AnneTeak]

Yep, this past Christmas. Thoughtfully picked out a gift for someone. They hardly glanced at it. Never again.
Even if i had three of the same item, I would still gush that it was a wonderful thoughtful gift and thank them ever so sweetly.

 

[dilettante]

A basket of fruit would be perfect, for either giving or receiving. I'm making a note of that for future gifting.

You might want to rethink that.

In my case it was a son and his SO's gag gift to each person this year. They wanted to see the looks on faces. They're a quirky pair though with a warped sense of humor.

Did I mention the plastic Jesus on their car's dash? Bobbling away with a small Pokémon ball in the crook of his arm? Their dog's collar with a small engraved plate saying "Will bark for food?"

 

[Gary O']

Wow! Hand knitted wool socks are a treasure

SIL sure likes 'em
And she's one picky snob

They're on her feet as I type
(she requested the pink yarn)

 

[hollydolly]

These days I only give gifts to my sons, their SOs, my grandson, and my ex and her husband. Most of those are tokens like a folding-blade keychain knife or flashlight, lady's cape wrap, good quality lip balm, unusual men's after shave, etc. Then the boys get cash.

so basically you give to everybody...lol

 

[dilettante]

so basically you give to everybody...lol

Watch it, I almost said something about that picture above!

 

[PeppermintPatty]

Oh yes.
Every Christmas I bake gingerbreads and give them away as gifts. I’ve been doing this since 1981. Back in the late ‘80’s I was working near the airport as a quality control manager and I gave cookies away to all the people in my department. Three people just threw them in the garbage. Now I understand these are cookies and I’m not a close relative. I expect some to throw them away but these people made sure I saw they were thrown out so intentionally tried to hurt me. Note: in hindsight it was unprofessional of me to do such a thing

In the past I’ve painted pictures for friends as gifts and even framed them myself. ( made the wooden frame. Some people took the painted picture out and used the frame for a family photo. I’m not sure what happened to the painting

Years ago my husband made his family shoe horns. Really nice ones made from imported wood. His mom didn’t want it so gave it away to someone else. She did this right in front of him and then sat back basting in the giftees gratitude. It really hurt my husband. Last year he gave his parents friends shoe horns for giving us a huge supply of fresh/ frozen cod fish caught by them. I gave them cookies. They appreciated them very much and sent a thank you card. This year his mom asked for a shoe horn. He made her one with a longer handle so she can reach her feet without bending.

It’s hurtful when people toss out things you’ve personally made for them but the older I get, the less it bothers me.

Sorry to all of you who have been hurt from offering gifts.

 

[Georgiagranny]

My gifts to family are almost always shopped for at the credit union. No one ever returns or rejects them

This year, I didn't give DS/DSIL . Instead, they got a badly-needed new mattress. They were and are thrilled to get up in the morning without backaches.

 

[Jules]

Her filthy rich sister does love those knitted socks
Can't find such things in stores no matter the price

If your wife ever decides she wants a little extra cash, she’d do very well putting those in an artisan type store in the fall. Don’t worry about a high price; if someone wants them, they’ll pay it.

I truly don't like receiving gifts but would NEVER dismiss the kindness of the gesture.

Also I've never had someone simply dismiss or refuse a gift I've given. They may toss it aside later though!

You and me both. I hate receiving gifts. I’m gracious and deal with it later.

I absolutely loathe receiving a hostess gift. It’s excess consumption. When little kids went to a party, they expected to leave with a gift too.

 

[debodun]

Yes, one particular Christmas gift I gave to a former friend. She collected bird figurines, so I thought she'd like one. When she opened it, she immediately shoved it under her chair like she couldn't wait to get it out of her sight, then proceeded to tell me that her neighbors gave her $100 in cash. It not only sent a message that she didn't care for my gift and that she didn't feel anything worth less than $100 or cash was acceptable.

 

[officerripley]

For several years, the next-door neighbor (an early 50s divorced gal who lives alone) brought over really nice cookies she makes every year for Christmas and we've given her either a sherry wine cake or a poppy seed cake that I've made. And I've gotten compliments from other people on both the cakes so I guess they're not terrible.

Well, Christmas 2022, when the neighbor brought the cookies over, she said, "Now, whatever you do, don't make me a cake, ok?" It startled me, so I just mumbled something like, "Oh, ok, well thanks for the cookies?"

And I figured that she no longer wanted to do the cookie-cake exchange for whatever reason and that was her way of trying to stop it in the future, so I didn't even think about making her a cake this year. But she knocks on the door this last Christmas with the cookies again and says, "Don't forget, no cake for me!"

Maybe she's dieting, but she's already a size 4, for crying out loud. (Size 4 here in the U.S. fits someone who weighs about 95 lb./43 kg.) Or maybe she's just trying to stay off the sugar, IDK.