Ever feel like you don't belong anywhere?

No one mentions the age factor. the greater age difference between OP or anyone and the crowd,the more likely he will feel out of place. Depending on where and when he goes. Young people feel out of place at a senior event. I feel out of it with people young enough to be my grandchildren and under 40 espec girls. Which is everywhere.
So it seems normal to be out of place.Obviously you can visit less crowded places, quiet empty stores,etc. Go when it is dead. And I you will feel less alone among those who share mutual strong interests because that creates connection. They know this, so do you.
Your clothes and appearance make a small difference.
 
@ Cornhusker.....I'd suggest that you find for yourself a meaningful purpose that defines the trajectory for the rest of your life.
You might have two decades or so left if you take care of yourself but what you're describing here sounds like surrendering to a slow and joyless decline.
The chain smoking alcoholic? She's killing herself. Only she can change that. You could be a big help for that but only if she decides to quit and accepts help. I say that as a former drunk who's been sober for 24 years. If she doesn't want to quit drinking.........you might consider redefining your relationship with her. Maybe in a big way.
 

Babs2u said:
Maybe we can share some ideas on how to manage loneliness if we know of any. I guess my first go-to would be books. (That is if there are no prospects for human interaction or phone calls.) Find authors that inspire or entertain you and order a book or two from one of those discount places like Abebooks or Thriftbooks.

Help someone. Try a new craft. Listen to music that matches your mood. Grow something. Treat yourself to some small gift. (I bought real maple syrup for a splurge.) Check out something new online. Podcasts, art, humor, quotations.

Any ideas?
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Maybe a house plant. Maybe adopt a cat or a dog. Try a new recipe.
 
Pepper said:
Tried so hard for so many years not to feel like crap. My loneliness came from actually being alone. When I feel bored with TV at night I don't wait for bedtime, I just go to bed, even if it is very early. I go to bed earlier than my 6 year old grandson. Sometimes it gets so boring it's unbearable. Don't wait for bedtime, go to bed, sleep it off.

Could you explain your avatar? why you chose it? I find it very unsettling. What are you trying to say, if anything, by using it? It's so..........empty.
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I'm not sure why I use that avatar, I've used it for years on most of the forums I'm on.
The exception is this avatar I use on one forum. It's my little buddy Toby, he's helped me through a lot.
Spoiled rotten but I love him. :)
1742212348435.png
 
Babs2u said:
Maybe we can share some ideas on how to manage loneliness if we know of any. I guess my first go-to would be books. (That is if there are no prospects for human interaction or phone calls.) Find authors that inspire or entertain you and order a book or two from one of those discount places like Abebooks or Thriftbooks.

Help someone. Try a new craft. Listen to music that matches your mood. Grow something. Treat yourself to some small gift. (I bought real maple syrup for a splurge.) Check out something new online. Podcasts, art, humor, quotations.

Any ideas?
Click to expand...
When I am by myself, I'll lay on the floor and crank up a little Celtic punk/rock, and the "angrier" the song the more calm I feel.
Sounds weird, but since country music died that's about the best there is.
 
You sound like me before I divorced my very abusive husband. I felt empty and very very lonely because no-one knew the hell I was living, and I felt too much shame to tell anyone. I felt displaced, would think “who lives like this?” I had no friends, (my ex kept me very isolated) no interests, no life.

I was passively suicidal and situationally depressed. When I found the courage to leave, my suicidal ideation and my depression disappeared. I went from merely surviving to actually living.

I joined some self-help groups for abuse survivors, got some counseling, got involved in some activities that I loved, and changed the trajectory of my life. It was some of the hardest work I ever did, but my life these days bears zero resemblance to the way I used to live, feel and act.

I’m not trying to make this about me, just doing my best to relate to you, and to encourage you to take steps to change your situation. No one can do that for you. It begins with a first step which is the most difficult. Momentum takes over after that.

I will help you in any way I can.
 
@Cornhusker, For what it's worth, I like your avitar, but then I do gravitate toward pictures of skeletons and the grim reaper. Even have a reprint of an older German book with famous illustrations of same. Do not remember artists name, have been told though, it's well known. I could look it up, but today isn't the day. To be honest about it, I'm trying to forget pretty much everything right now. Been a tough couple of days.

You out by Chimney Rock area? I lived in Omaha most of my life.. I know I know, there are the Omaha (I include Lincoln), people, and then there are the rest of Nebraskans.

Toby is cool, I miss our dogs.
 
Cornhusker said:
When I am by myself, I'll lay on the floor and crank up a little Celtic punk/rock, and the "angrier" the song the more calm I feel.
Sounds weird, but since country music died that's about the best there is.
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That sounds about right. I once read that you should listen to music that relates to the place where you are not where you hope to be. You can progress as the mood improves.
But sometimes a little Latin music or Motown lifts me from wherever I am.
 
Flarbalard said:
@Cornhusker, For what it's worth, I like your avitar, but then I do gravitate toward pictures of skeletons and the grim reaper. Even have a reprint of an older German book with famous illustrations of same. Do not remember artists name, have been told though, it's well known. I could look it up, but today isn't the day. To be honest about it, I'm trying to forget pretty much everything right now. Been a tough couple of days.

You out by Chimney Rock area? I lived in Omaha most of my life.. I know I know, there are the Omaha (I include Lincoln), people, and then there are the rest of Nebraskans.

Toby is cool, I miss our dogs.
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Not too far from Chimney Rock, about 40 miles.
 
@Cornhusker - first ditch that avatar, I mean your just making even yourself miserable. Add positive re enforcement even if ya have to fake for a while. Do something different every day no matter how small..brush your teeth in the kitchen instead of the bathroom. Tiny little changes everyday add over time. If you can afford it. Hope in the car and go site seeing, take the dog if possible. Learn to cook you something you like. Bottom line I think your more depressed than you think.Have you seen a doctor, rule out any vitamin issues? Just change you situation one step at a time. Keep checking in , people here do care.
 
Cornhusker said:
Not too far from Chimney Rock, about 40 miles.
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I've haven't seen it in person, so how odd was it after that part of it broke off? Wasn't it like 300 feet of it? It's still odd to me when I see the picture of it.

BTW, what is Celtic rock/punk?

Re: your original post-- Just keep one foot in front of another, you got family and Toby is depending on you. Best I can do. Maybe it's an age thing, we're the same age.
 
Flarbalard said:
I've haven't seen it in person, so how odd was it after that part of it broke off? Wasn't it like 300 feet of it? It's still odd to me when I see the picture of it.

BTW, what is Celtic rock/punk?

Re: your original post-- Just keep one foot in front of another, you got family and Toby is depending on you. Best I can do. Maybe it's an age thing, we're the same age.
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What I consider Celtic punk/rock is groups like the Pogues, Dropkick Murphys, The Real McKenzies, Flogging Molly and even some More traditional Irish style like The Irish Descendants, High Kings, etc.
Depends on my mood.
I may be labeling the genre wrong, but in my head, that's what it is.
 
RedAlert76 said:
@Cornhusker - first ditch that avatar, I mean your just making even yourself miserable. Add positive re enforcement even if ya have to fake for a while. Do something different every day no matter how small..brush your teeth in the kitchen instead of the bathroom. Tiny little changes everyday add over time. If you can afford it. Hope in the car and go site seeing, take the dog if possible. Learn to cook you something you like. Bottom line I think your more depressed than you think.Have you seen a doctor, rule out any vitamin issues? Just change you situation one step at a time. Keep checking in , people here do care.
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Thank you guys for all the encouragement.
I actually did go see a doctor a couple of weeks ago, and things were a bit out of whack. Low BG, low BP, low iron, lo B12, etc.
Made some adjustments to my meds, we'll see how that goes.
I've been trying to get heathy, lose some weight, spend more time on my feet, etc. so that's probably what's messing with the meds and making me tired all the time.
I will look for another avatar, I didn't mean to freak anybody out.
 
I have found myself living alone several times in my life. When I got tired of being alone, I started to live my own life.
It's fairly interesting, Golf was my go too outdoors after 35 or so. Gave up the Motorcycle. Didn't need to break another
Femur, hurt too much along with the hip and 2 arms. So then living alone wasn't such a big thing. Lots to do even at
home alone. Eventually living my own life, I found another interesting life to join up with. Not a big deal anyway !
Go with it or not to go is the question. Maybe decisions like being more important than a single daily's thing ?
 
Cornhusker said:
What I consider Celtic punk/rock is groups like the Pogues, Dropkick Murphys, The Real McKenzies, Flogging Molly and even some More traditional Irish style like The Irish Descendants, High Kings, etc.
Depends on my mood.
I may be labeling the genre wrong, but in my head, that's what it is.
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Thanks. I know none of those, but I'll check it out and see what they're like.
 
Cornhusker said:
I will look for another avatar, I didn't mean to freak anybody out.
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It didn't freak me out. It made me think that you were depressed, and you are. No biggie, I am too. Underneath it all, most of us are. After all, facts are facts: we on this forum will all be dead soon. Can't get away from that. So, I guess Live As Well As Possible, we're closer to the Exit Door. Any minute now. TIME'S UP.
 
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