Ever have tipping remorse?

Victor said:
Tipping is not a moral obligation. I mean it is not an ethical issue by which you are a good or bad person I wrote a article on it

I agree that the public should not be responsible for a workers wage. Even if they are it does not follow that YOU personally are. If you are then in a sense you are working for the employer by paying her wage! Workers feel entitled to tips like they are doing you a favor
Back to my question why do I over tip massage girls??
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Maybe feel guilty for them having to massage a fat, sweaty old man?

Probably not the answer you were looking for
 

I. Read that tipping began in the upper class or affluent to insure prompt service. They could easily afford it. Then it became custom. The more affluent people probably raised the ante for all of us. It is the same way with other services. People tip nicely even for bad service. Not me
 
The consensus seems to be tips should not supplement the wage paid for various jobs.

I've never owned a business or worked at a service job that relied on tips. So I don't know what it would take to be able to stay in business or support my needs via tips.

Thankfully after leaving the Navy I've been able to move & work at jobs that led to better employment. Not everyone has that chance in life.

So for those posting here that feel tips should not be part of the wage of those that need them. What would your solution be to make it possible for business owners & those not capable of working at jobs requiring a high skill level for higher pay?
 
I've never had tippers remorse. Good service deserves a good tip. Exceptional service deserves extra. On the flip side, twice I've had horrible service such that I believed the waitresses may have been racist (but maybe not). Each time I left a couple of pennies (which I heard is an insult) and a note saying "Here's your tip...you might want to be more courteous and attentive to your customers".
 
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Victor said:
I. Read that tipping began in the upper class or affluent to insure prompt service. They could easily afford it. Then it became custom. The more affluent people probably raised the ante for all of us. It is the same way with other services. People tip nicely even for bad service. Not me
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Not us either.
 
I don't go out to eat these days, but I tip the man who delivers my groceries and the man who picks up and delivers my laundry very generously. The way I feel is that these people are basically risking their own health to provide me a service. I have no idea what I'd do without their willingness to take that risk. These are low paying jobs and I think they deserve a little extra. I would rethink this if one of them was rude or provided inferior service, but that's never happened.

Everything is just so grim these days, I enjoy the opportunity to do something nice for a person that deserves it.
 
Tips like many other items has just got out of hand ...... where does it end?

Minimum or base wage for tipped employees varies by state.............. and some make a really small amount / some do not. The whole idea of accepting a tipped type job.....a person should factor in how much effort they put in to service.
I have known many people that did very well in tipped positions and others who constantly complained about not making enough.
I really do not feel a general tip jar that is split among the best and worst employees is a good idea for businesses either. No one is rewarded for extra effort so why bother you are rewarded the same as the slacker.

Keeping the idea going that the base is super low really works wonders for some tipped employees.

I do not think if i have a pickup order I should be expected to tip like i had the service of dining in.

I also do not think i should tip well regardless of quality of service. I do not feel bad for leaving a small amount....i do not leave notes on receipts or anything that is called out on facebook etc..... but maybe they realize that they did not do a good job or most likely they just assume a customer is cheap.
In the last few years in my area some restaurants chose to raise their prices pay better hourly and do away with tips.....

Did not work well good servers went where they could make decent money and diners did not like paying those prices.
 
I used to donate every year to the United Way. For various reasons I no longer do that. I have decided I am going to donate to actual people I can see and know where my money is going.

I use the car wash in my small town that still has a guy washing the front and rear of the car. I give that guy a generous tip. He works his hind end off in that job and provides a great service to people. It's a much better car wash than the norm. The guys working there always seem kind of down and out and I don't mind at all giving them a generous tip.

Also, I get a massage every month. I found a guy that is great at that and has built up a business. Along came Covid and whooosh! half his business is gone. He has a program where, if you get a massage every month, he gives you a wonderful discount. I am happy to give him a generous tip. I don't tip as much as the OP so I don't feel conflicted. ;)

Oh, and I tip in cash.
 
@Jeni "In the last few years in my area some restaurants chose to raise their prices pay better hourly and do away with tips.....
Did not work well good servers went where they could make decent money and diners did not like paying those prices."

Interesting but not surprising to me. Depending on how much they raised their prices, customers probably got a better deal with the tipping.
 
Aunt Marg said:
The only remorse I feel is opening my purse to pay for an already overpriced meal, knowing I have to come up with an additional 15% - 20% more for a tip, hence why dear husband and I never go out to eat.

Two occasions are etched in my mind as far as times where we left no tip, because of such poor service.
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Like you Aunt Marg, I really, really hate tipping at restaurants. Yes, often the meals are so-so, the atmosphere is one of noise and often there is some sort of bad music that I find hard on my hearing. Sometimes the customers there leave much to be desired when it comes to manners. If service was good then I would tip by leaving some money on the table. No more! Now, you have to walk up to the till, put your credit card in the machine & you have choices of how much to tip up to 25%. Really? Of course, the guy/gal behind the counter is watching you like the American hawk as to how much you tip. In the future, I have learned when the restaurants open after Covid-19, I will make sure I have cash & leave the tip on the table for the person that served me. Never did & never will like the machine enforced tipping system. One main reason I don't really enjoy most restaurants.
 
Aunt Marg said:
As always, many great points, Tony.

Tipping IMO should be based upon that of each patron. The end.

To be perfectly honest, I don't understand the whole tipping thing, I mean, table servers are paid an hourly wage, so... where does the tip come into effect, and why does it come into effect?

If the food is good, then it should be the chef or cook in the back getting the tip, no?

If I'm a nurse in a hospital, should I get tips from each bed-ridden patient I tend to, because I'm good at taking care of them?

If I were a janitor in a school, should students bring monies to school with them each day to tip me, because I keep the floors swept and the garbage cans emptied?

What is it with all of the tipping these days?
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I'm probably wrong here but I believe that the tipping thing started in the good ole USA. I remember traveling in the US during the 1970s & seeing it. We didn't have here in Canada. Then of course, over the years the idea sneaked across the border & now we are being ripped off almost as high as 25%. I still remember that the concept of open-class rooms came from the US (I believe, California). It became the rage here until the teachers couldn't stand trying to shout louder than the other teachers & they finally built walls in all the open areas. Another brain dead idea! Tipping at 25% is plain and simple robbery!
 
Packerjohn said:
Like you Aunt Marg, I really, really hate tipping at restaurants. Yes, often the meals are so-so, the atmosphere is one of noise and often there is some sort of bad music that I find hard on my hearing. Sometimes the customers there leave much to be desired when it comes to manners. If service was good then I would tip by leaving some money on the table. No more! Now, you have to walk up to the till, put your credit card in the machine & you have choices of how much to tip up to 25%. Really? Of course, the guy/gal behind the counter is watching you like the American hawk as to how much you tip. In the future, I have learned when the restaurants open after Covid-19, I will make sure I have cash & leave the tip on the table for the person that served me. Never did & never will like the machine enforced tipping system. One main reason I don't really enjoy most restaurants.
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I'm with you 100%, Packer.

You bring up something that resonates with me in a big way... bad music and too loud. Such was the case last February when we went out for lunch at a restaurant, which by the way was the last time we were out to eat.

The other thing that's a major pet-peeve of mine is helping sizes. When it comes to the likes of potatoes - i.e., french fries, rice, and pasta, helpings should be heaping, because those three cost next to nothing, yet I can't tell you how many times over the years where hubby and I ordered a burger and with it came 9 french fries.

Just so hard for me to justify the expense of eating out anymore, and of course with the whole Covid issue, that, too, has put a clamp of my feelings regarding going out, but at the end of the day, at least for me it boils down to being able turnout a better meal at home than any restaurant can offer, and I know how the meal was made, what went into the making of said meals, and of course there's no concern over food-handling practices, etc, related to homemade meals at home.

Better, healthier, cheaper.
 
Packerjohn said:
I'm probably wrong here but I believe that the tipping thing started in the good ole USA. I remember traveling in the US during the 1970s & seeing it. We didn't have here in Canada. Then of course, over the years the idea sneaked across the border & now we are being ripped off almost as high as 25%. I still remember that the concept of open-class rooms came from the US (I believe, California). It became the rage here until the teachers couldn't stand trying to shout louder than the other teachers & they finally built walls in all the open areas. Another brain dead idea! Tipping at 25% is plain and simple robbery!
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I may be wrong, but it seems the whole tipping thing here in Canada has become quite a heated issue, with many having their fill (pardon the pun) over feeling as though they need to get off their wallets further for a tip, after already being gouged for the meal.

I've listened to several CBC Radio reports on such, hinting around putting a stop to tipping, and I hope an end is brought to it.

I used these examples at the start of this thread...

- If the food is good, then it should be the chef or cook in the back getting the tip, no?

- If I'm a nurse in a hospital, should I get tips from each bed-ridden patient I tend to, because I'm good at taking care of them?

- If I were a janitor in a school, should students bring monies to school with them each day to tip me, because I keep the floors swept and the garbage cans emptied?

In large part, I blame consumers for the tip-gouging going on, because as a collective, if restaurant goers quit tipping, sooner or later tipping would fall by wayside.
 
Pinky said:
I've so far not had tipper's remorse .. knock wood. If I were dissatisfied with service, I would tip the going 15%, but generally tip 20% (or more, if I'm extremely satisfied with the service).
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Same here. I typically tip 20% - 25%, more if I tie up a table for a long time or if the bill is very low. My mother was a waitress before my siblings and I were born and she taught us to be generous tippers.

When single and dating, I always had a pretty good sense of what the bill would be. The guy would get the bill and pay the waitstaff, then leave the tip on the table. If he cheaped out on the tip, I didn't go out with him again. (These were the days before CCs were the common mode of payment.)

My belief then and now was that a tendency toward generosity or stinginess hold true in all areas of one's life. Miserly tippers aren't going to be generous in other situations.

p.s. I married someone who was a very generous tipper, and as I expected, he's been open-handed throughout our years together.
 
Aunt Marg said:
I may be wrong, but it seems the whole tipping thing here in Canada has become quite a heated issue, with many having their fill (pardon the pun) over feeling as though they need to get off their wallets further for a tip, after already being gouged for the meal.

I've listened to several CBC Radio reports on such, hinting around putting a stop to tipping, and I hope an end is brought to it.

I used these examples at the start of this thread...

- If the food is good, then it should be the chef or cook in the back getting the tip, no?

- If I'm a nurse in a hospital, should I get tips from each bed-ridden patient I tend to, because I'm good at taking care of them?

- If I were a janitor in a school, should students bring monies to school with them each day to tip me, because I keep the floors swept and the garbage cans emptied?

In large part, I blame consumers for the tip-gouging going on, because as a collective, if restaurant goers quit tipping, sooner or later tipping would fall by wayside.
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I see this at holiday times too ...... when people seem to leave a gift / treats for everyone from the postman to the garbage collector etc...
I worked as waitress many years ago and tried to treat all the same not cozy up to type one might expect to be good tippers.

I see the point but most of the time if I tip generous it was not about just the food .... it was about the right mix of attention to detail and being helpful etc...
I do not think it should be universal and i do NOT think we will get people to quit doing it........ too many use tipping as a expression of how they can afford to etc.
I have seen many of those stories that make in news about leaving large tips often with notes on receipt ( often leaked by tipper not the person getting the tip) ....

$100 on all tabs etc was like a challenge awhile ago ...........I remember a group of celebrities were trying to out do each other it was more about them then the service person they tipped....
 
Jeni said:
I see this at holiday times too ...... when people seem to leave a gift / treats for everyone from the postman to the garbage collector etc...
I worked as waitress many years ago and tried to treat all the same not cozy up to type one might expect to be good tippers.

I see the point but most of the time if I tip generous it was not about just the food .... it was about the right mix of attention to detail and being helpful etc...
I do not think it should be universal and i do NOT think we will get people to quit doing it........ too many use tipping as a expression of how they can afford to etc.
I have seen many of those stories that make in news about leaving large tips often with notes on receipt ( often leaked by tipper not the person getting the tip) ....

$100 on all tabs etc was like a challenge awhile ago ...........I remember a group of celebrities were trying to out do each other it was more about them then the service person they tipped....
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I just remember (back in the day) when tipping actually meant something and was reserved for special occasions, unlike today where tipping is expected.

When society get's to the point of expecting, the only thing society can expect from folks like myself is a big fat nothing.

Unrelated to your post, but I for one am sick of hearing about how underpaid table servers are, and tips are what table servers rely/live on.

If that be the case, then time for table servers to look at a more promising career, one that will reward them with a higher income and better lifestyle.

As for those who like throwing their money away foolishly, all the power to them.
 
Jeni said:
I see this at holiday times too ...... when people seem to leave a gift / treats for everyone from the postman to the garbage collector etc...
I worked as waitress many years ago and tried to treat all the same not cozy up to type one might expect to be good tippers.

I see the point but most of the time if I tip generous it was not about just the food .... it was about the right mix of attention to detail and being helpful etc...
I do not think it should be universal and i do NOT think we will get people to quit doing it........ too many use tipping as a expression of how they can afford to etc.
I have seen many of those stories that make in news about leaving large tips often with notes on receipt ( often leaked by tipper not the person getting the tip) ....

$100 on all tabs etc was like a challenge awhile ago ...........I remember a group of celebrities were trying to out do each other it was more about them then the service person they tipped....
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I'm delighted at any stories where someone - celebrity or not - leaves an extraordinarily generous tip. I've yet to meet a person rolling in dough when their income is reliant on tips. Most are struggling to get by.
 
StarSong said:
I'm delighted at any stories where someone - celebrity or not - leaves an extraordinarily generous tip. I've yet to meet a person rolling in dough when their income is reliant on tips. Most are struggling to get by.
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My point was they do it to pat themselves on the back not because they care about the struggling service person ......
I am happy for the person getting the tip....... just not the display of self promotion around it.
 
Jeni said:
My point was they do it to pat themselves on the back not because they care about the struggling service person ......
I am happy for the person getting the tip....... just not the display of self promotion around it.
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Celebrities are all about self-promotion. It keeps them in the public eye.
 
StarSong said:
I'm delighted at any stories where someone - celebrity or not - leaves an extraordinarily generous tip. I've yet to meet a person rolling in dough when their income is reliant on tips. Most are struggling to get by.
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To those struggling to get by, get busy and find something that pays better.

The poor working stiff that's employed by the city to dig out plugged sewer drainage systems by-hand is probably underpaid, too, so shall we all be tossing coins and dollar bills at him as well, because he's struggling to get by?
 
No. Tipping is for personal service only. Yes it is expected as if it is required part of the bill. Once I did not leave a tip for coffee at a cafe and the next day the same waitress charged me a quarter more for the same coffee. How petty. I never went back. Florida.
 
Victor said:
No. Tipping is for personal service only. Yes it is expected as if it is required part of the bill. Once I did not leave a tip for coffee at a cafe and the next day the same waitress charged me a quarter more for the same coffee. How petty. I never went back. Florida.
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We live in a world that revolves around - take, take, take.

Good on ya for not going back!
 

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