Everyone wants to be boss but who should be, (besides me of course!)

grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
In life its fair to say "everyone wants to be boss", (at least at some times, and in some circumstances, for example "boss of our own destiny" perhaps?).

Almost every creature on Earth seems to work out a "pecking order" don't they, deciding who might be "top dog" etc., so you cant really avoid this altogether can you, whether it be at work or in a marriage where some women are said to "wear the trousers", (alright some very lucky or successful marriages involve suited couples who can share roles, decision making, or even alternate, so all things are possible I admit).

Obviously some are born to lead, (not me I don't think), some have leadership thrust upon them, (not me again I don't think), and some comes eventually, as they enter their elderly years perhaps, to see through the shenanigans of all the bullies, "my way or the highway" brigade, can see the inadequacies of their hard hearted approach to life, and how it limits their own interactions and "positivity" as they say they crave or desire to see in everyone, and then maybe we become the leaders sometimes, (yes I did say "we", so including "me" and so are the leaders in the sense of the "stone the builders/men overlooked, or did not appreciate, becoming the cornerstone, holding everyone else up!).

Right now I'm the boss therefore, (setting the agenda for a discussion at least), but not an overbearing one, and ready to step down at a moments notice if necessary! :)
 

I, for one, (probably the only one) would hate to be in a relationship where a man were subservient to me.
"I wanna brave man, I wanna cave man." (from a 50's song)
A man should be a REAL MAN, decisive, solid, protective, intelligent, and deserving of my respect.
I'd be happy to take a softer role in the relationship
If a man is a liability, whiny, or a weak or withered soul, I couldn't respect him much. Better to be alone.
Over the generations, it seems men have become more and more effeminate. and women more masculine.
This is a sad thing.
 
A natural leader is quick to emerge in almost any group.
PreteenLeader-690x460.jpg

Are a boss and a leader the same thing? :unsure:
Leader-vs-Boss-640px.jpg
 

Gaer said:
I, for one, (probably the only one) would hate to be in a relationship where a man were subservient to me.
"I wanna brave man, I wanna cave man." (from a 50's song)
A man should be a REAL MAN, decisive, solid, protective, intelligent, and deserving of my respect.
I'd be happy to take a softer role in the relationship
If a man is a liability, whiny, or a weak or withered soul, I couldn't respect him much. Better to be alone.
Over the generations, it seems men have become more and more effeminate. and women more masculine.
This is a sad thing.
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Whose fault is that I wonder, (sagacious look :censored::cautious::sneaky::unsure::whistle: )?
 
My leadership style is gonna be "collaborative", if you don't shape up I'll make the best of it, (cos I ain't gonna bust your a.....!).

However, if I do resort to a bit of nagging, (or other overall unproductive measures!?), then a bit of shouting may ensue!

I promise not to give you the "I'm never wrong/always right doctrine", so beloved of egotists, nor "My way or the highway",(I may have already mentioned that one being not my style).

If you come away from a days work feeling less of a man, (or woman), I'll have failed, so in the terms of my ex boss, it will be a benign dictatorship! :)
 
I never wanted to be the boss. In fact when I left field work to take a first line supervisor position, I wound up regretting it. It involved a raise in pay but I hated every minute of it, especially since I wound up doing things that I shouldn't have had to considering what my job description entailed. Plus I wasn't the "big boss", but middle management which sucks. I always advocated for my workers when it came right down to the wire though. As soon as I could, I opted to go back in the field and never regretted it. I was told I was the first in that program to take a demotion and I was fine with that. My pay was only $30 less per month because I had gotten a raise the first paycheck after going back into the field.
 
In business, I never wanted to be the "boss", but I became one and I did all I could to live up to it. To be a leader of people is to understand what makes them tick and to genuinely care about them as people. It's not that difficult. The ability to analyze situations and make decisions is also important because you will become the "go to" person for ultimate decisions.

In my personal life, I've always been a control freak but I met a wonderful person 30 years ago who is my absolute equal. He still relies on me to make major life decisions (finances, where we live, cars we drive, etc.), because that is my area of expertise. In the everyday decisions (home decor, what movie to see, whether to attend a party, where to dine) he has an equal say. I'm very lucky.
 
Gaer said:
I, for one, (probably the only one) would hate to be in a relationship where a man were subservient to me.
"I wanna brave man, I wanna cave man." (from a 50's song)
A man should be a REAL MAN, decisive, solid, protective, intelligent, and deserving of my respect.
I'd be happy to take a softer role in the relationship
If a man is a liability, whiny, or a weak or withered soul, I couldn't respect him much. Better to be alone.
Over the generations, it seems men have become more and more effeminate. and women more masculine.
This is a sad thing.
My earlier response to you wasn't fair or considered, so apologies for that, and in a sense, as a "less assertive person", (would you believe!), like you did in a man, I looked for a strong woman who might take a lead.
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I don't think I'm winy and weak, (or a withered soul, to use your very discriptive term), but playing " second fiddle" was okay by me generally in a relationship, I I do think many "alpha males" are essentially bullies, full of their own importance, and living with one of them can be no picnic for any woman ultimately I believešŸ˜§believešŸ˜§!

As my very strong dad would have said, "It takes all sorts to make a world". :)
 
Thanks to my dad my mom only scolded me however many of my moms friends who resided in Crown Heights, Williamsburg, Bensonhurst, Brighton Beach and Seagate were culturally natural bosses of the family unit who would pound their children "With special focus on their sons" into submission on a daily basis. In the end all the daughters kept up the tradition while the sons who became financially well off married men always had a smile on their faces in the casket. Hmm, I wonder why?
 
FastTrax said:
Thanks to my dad my mom only scolded me however many of my moms friends who resided in Crown Heights, Williamsburg, Bensonhurst, Brighton Beach and Seagate were culturally natural bosses of the family unit who would pound their children "With special focus on their sons" into submission on a daily basis. In the end all the daughters kept up the tradition while the sons who became financially well off married men always had a smile on their faces in the casket. Hmm, I wonder why?
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Very succinct and pithy comments! :)
 
FastTrax said:
Thanks to my dad my mom only scolded me however many of my moms friends who resided in Crown Heights, Williamsburg, Bensonhurst, Brighton Beach and Seagate were culturally natural bosses of the family unit who would pound their children "With special focus on their sons" into submission on a daily basis. In the end all the daughters kept up the tradition while the sons who became financially well off married men always had a smile on their faces in the casket. Hmm, I wonder why?
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Glad you are posting again! šŸ‘
 
I haven't been in a relationship with a man in so very many, many years that I would have to give it a whole lot of thought as to what role I played. I do like a protective male but also one I can communicate with well. I like to have an interrelated relationship where we both are equals and figure things out together and compromise or come up with alternate solutions to problems. I am a good problem solver and would need someone who is also one. I used to go for the very macho guys but found they can also be abusive, I'm sure not all of them.

I would like someone who could communicate feelings well to me and vise versa I would. Someone understanding and intelligent, too.

I think we could be co-bosses! Yeah!
 
I've always enjoyed the position of 'know-it-all' when it came to equipment but never really a boss.
The Boss knew just enough get by.
He was salaried and I was hourly, but it seemed to work out to about the same.
His life was never his own. After you added up the hours he spent jumping through hoops, we made about the same.

I made him look good when he needed it and he remember that.

Learned that when I dealt with a fresh Lieutenant just out of OTS.
Informed him my job was to make him look good.
The smart ones understood, took the advice and I enjoyed being under the Radar.
 
Ruthanne said:
I haven't been in a relationship with a man in so very many, many years that I would have to give it a whole lot of thought as to what role I played. I do like a protective male but also one I can communicate with well. I like to have an interrelated relationship where we both are equals and figure things out together and compromise or come up with alternate solutions to problems. I am a good problem solver and would need someone who is also one. I used to go for the very macho guys but found they can also be abusive, I'm sure not all of them.
I would like someone who could communicate feelings well to me and vise versa I would. Someone understanding and intelligent, too.
I think we could be co-bosses! Yeah!
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I'm sure you deserve one as you describe, (now where can we find such a man,.....?? :). )!
 

Everyone wants to be boss but who should be​


Never wanted to be
Never strove for it

Got kicked upstairs after the honchos noticed everyone coming to me for answers

Dammit



At home?

I'm rather anal about things (I've been told....by my boss)

Actually
We're teammates

I'm a neat freak
She's a clean freak

Freaks make good mates, apparently
 
I was promoted to a supervisory position, but soon discovered that I lacked the nastiness required at times to be a boss. Preparing for an audit, a venerated man 15 years my elder was refusing to do part of his job, a paperwork function which he dismissively said he ā€œdidnā€™t have the timeā€ to do. I had the choice of either calling him to the carpet and being thought a monster by the rank and file, or of giving him a pass, computing his odds of being looked at to be 2%. So I gave him the pass, but after the audit which overlooked him sought and received a demotion. At work, youā€™ve got to be a bit of a bastard to be a bossā€¦
 
Fyrefox said:
I was promoted to a supervisory position, but soon discovered that I lacked the nastiness required at times to be a boss. Preparing for an audit, a venerated man 15 years my elder was refusing to do part of his job, a paperwork function which he dismissively said he ā€œdidnā€™t have the timeā€ to do. I had the choice of either calling him to the carpet and being thought a monster by the rank and file, or of giving him a pass, computing his odds of being looked at to be 2%. So I gave him the pass, but after the audit which overlooked him sought and received a demotion. At work, youā€™ve got to be a bit of a bastard to be a bossā€¦
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There is this ceramic suggesting just as you say, or you need to be "hard" sometimes, I'm sure that's true, though far better leaders than most people in my country once had their wife tell them at the height of WWII that she could not bear to thing the staff working for him did not perfectly love him, (as a way of making him realise he'd been a bit too rough on them she'd heard, I speak of Clementine Churchill, Winston's wife of course).

Pig get to top.1.jpg
 
grahamg said:
There is this ceramic suggesting just as you say, or you need to be "hard" sometimes, I'm sure that's true, though far better leaders than most people in my country once had their wife tell them at the height of WWII that she could not bear to thing the staff working for him did not perfectly love him, (as a way of making him realise he'd been a bit too rough on them she'd heard, I speak of Clementine Churchill, Winston's wife of course).

View attachment 202560
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I wouldn't want to get to the top if it meant stepping on other people to get there.
 

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