Father Ralphy will hear confessions on Friday from now on!

Ralphy1

Ralphy1

Well-known Member
Yes, as a service to Senior Forums he thought that this would help members who might want to unburden themselves...
 

Dear Father Ralphy,

Is this the kind of salacious confession you are looking for?

I pick my nose and fart in bed.
I seek absolution.

What should I do to be forgiven?
 
Tsk tsk, Warrigal. Those are definitely mortal sins!

I think Ralphy is looking for confessions such as participating in orgies, drugs, alcohol, etc.
 

Ameriscot said:
Tsk tsk, Warrigal. Those are definitely mortal sins!

I think Ralphy is looking for confessions such as participating in orgies, drugs, alcohol, etc.
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I know. Another of my sins is delighting in teasing Ralphy with sadistic refusals to provide him with any of the juicy details that he is craving.
 
Warri, my child, as long as you do not disturb others with your obnoxious behavior they are not sins. Sweet Redd, wind chimes are a pain the ass and I would also have chucked them, so you did not sin. Dearest Annie, you could have a ménage and it wouldn't matter as only God can forgive a sin of this magnitude, may he show you mercy when the time comes.
 
���� Yes, yes, Father Ralphy decided to hear confessions for this reason.
 
Father Ralphy, another confession and a big sin as I broke one of the 10 Commandments of Thou Shall Not Kill :(

I killed dozens yesterday, my weapon of choice was Killex and the victims were Dandelions
 
Bad girl, you should have picked them and made dandelion wine out of them. Go and sin no more.
 
Hmm, you can still be saved. I will bring in priests from all over to hear your sins, but some of them might have to listen to you from prison.
 
Ralphy1 said:
Hmm, you can still be saved. I will bring in priests from all over to hear your sins, but some of them might have to listen to you from prison.
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:lol: Anyway, I haven't done anything bad enough for prison. Okay, maybe a fine....or a few days in jail.
 
Ralphy1 said:
Yes, as a service to Senior Forums he thought that this would help members who might want to unburden themselves...
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Thanks Ralph, but I've been eating additional fiber this morning in hopes of unburdening myself. If this is not successful, perhaps I'll avail myself of your services.
 
tnthomas said:
Thanks Ralph, but I've been eating additional fiber this morning in hopes of unburdening myself. If this is not successful, perhaps I'll avail myself of your services.
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The Irish priest in the catholic school I went to often scared the sh*t out of me!
 
I confess I should be outside working in the yard (2pm afternoon) instead I watched a movie and am eating rhubarb crisp.....
 
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

It has been 58 years since my last confession, and ... well, Father, actually, I've never BEEN to confession. Where's the little slot to put the quarter?
 
Dear Father Ralphy, I have a confession to make.

On the walk home from my tai chi class, I passed a Shopsy's cart ..

I ate a Polish Sausage today, rather than opting for the Vegetarian Sausage.
.. and, I enjoyed it :p

How many Hail Mary's must I say, and do I need to kneel and genuflect?
 
Warrigal said:
Dear Father Ralphy,

Is this the kind of salacious confession you are looking for?

I pick my nose and fart in bed.
I seek absolution.

What should I do to be forgiven?
Click to expand...

Warrigal, you are so aristocratic! We don't even hide in bed to do such things. It's part of everyday life, like eating :eek:
 
Ameriscot said:
The Irish priest in the catholic school I went to often scared the sh*t out of me!
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The teachers and principal in the [German]Missouri Lutheran school I attended in 5th & 6th grade would[and did] beat the sh*t out of me, for real and perceived rules violations. Yea, that worked! :rolleyes:
 
I'm not Catholic but I'll give it a try. Can't hurt. Forgive me Father for I have sinned. While cleaning our bathroom yesterday I noticed some grungy stuff forming alone the bottom of the faucet,the rag I had didn't help so I grabbed my hubby's toothbrush and scrubbed away. Then I replaced it in his toothbrush holder.I did wash it out before I replaced it. that should mean something.
 

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