Are those the options available though?
My mother used to talk about "positive neglect", (or some such term she used), whereby she deliberately tried not to be overprotective.
She used to talk about, "Folks won't see that off the bus", as a way of defending herself from charges she didn't keep her house as tidy as it might have been, (I've an old photo showing her humour in this regard you must see). I'm talking a woman here who was a formidable housekeeper and unbelievably good cook, just not perhaps your or anyone else's idea of what she should have been, (I spent a lifetime criticising her, only fully realising how much she'd done after she'd gone).
On this thread if you're "not passing judgement" you're pretty unique, and there in a nutshell is my reason for asking others to be less judgemental about the young mother described in the OP.