fishing for compliments

Em in Ohio said:
In the 89 years of my mother's life, she never complimented me once, as far back as I can remember. She resented me, hated me.
I hated her back. A little positive feedback can go a long way.
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My mom was the same way. No compliments, but a lot of criticism. She was often spiteful and malicious and I swear envious. What kind of nut is jealous of her own kid? I gave up too.
 
Been There said:
Generally, this is a form of insecurity. She’s not alone. A lot of Hollywood elites go after compliments. One of the worse people is Kevin James, who doesn’t do well at the box office, but does do better on TV.
Karen Carpenter never thought she was good enough because her brother would always seek out perfection. We all know how that worked out.
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Richard loved her though, and the strain of fame and all the adoration for the wonderful voice can't always have been easy for a sensitive person having to perform all the time to cope with regardless of anything else.
 
rkunsaw said:
My daughter is constantly doing this on facebook. She gets them too. Why do people do this?

Today her post went like this:

YOU MAY NOT ALWAYS BE THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE ROOM BUT YOU CAN BE THE KINDEST
GIRL IN THE ROOM. AND THAT'S OK BECAUSE HAVING A PRETTY HEART IS FAR BETTER THAN
HAVING A PRETTY FACE.

As expected everyone who replied said something about her having both. And her answer to each one was something like
awww it's so sweet of you to say that.
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I liked what your daughter said in this post. If respondents chose to compliment her, so what? I really don't understand why you would have a problem with this. Perhaps a little more positive input from home would benefit you both.
 
grahamg said:
Richard loved her though, and the strain of fame and all the adoration for the wonderful voice can't always have been easy for a sensitive person having to perform all the time to cope with regardless of anything else.
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OK, but who had the bigger problem? Karen with her eating disorder or Richard and his mother with their need for perfection and also OCD?
 
Been There said:
Generally, this is a form of insecurity. She’s not alone. A lot of Hollywood elites go after compliments. One of the worse people is Kevin James, who doesn’t do well at the box office, but does do better on TV.
Karen Carpenter never thought she was good enough because her brother would always seek out perfection. We all know how that worked out.
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Yes, you could be right. People who feel 'not quite good enough' may use social media to boost their self-esteem. My daughter in law practically shares her whole life on FB and Youtube. I'm at a loss to understand why.
 
How about the other fishing expedition...……"vague-posting"? I have someone who does that, constantly. "Oh, well, maybe tomorrow will be better" or "I'll be glad when this day finally ends" or "Sad day today" or "Sometimes it gets just too difficult" with no other explanation for the post.

Then come the replies...."oh, no, what happened?" or "Are you sick?" or "I'll keep you in my prayers", etc.

You'd think after several years of this nobody would bite, wouldn't you? Wrongo.
 
Em in Ohio said:
In the 89 years of my mother's life, she never complimented me once, as far back as I can remember. She resented me, hated me.
I hated her back. A little positive feedback can go a long way.
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I can identify with the no compliments
Don't think mine hated me
Just think I was sorta not there
Just somebody to clothe/feed
Looking back, that really worked out pretty well
 
Ok my panties are in a twist now. I DO have friends (and family) on FB and I DO use the 'like' and mean it. If I don't like someone's post on FB then I ignore it. Some things are ruined on FB and that is sad. I post stuff that I think someone wiil like and is they don't, so what.
 
I've got just a few friends on Facebook, (either because I'm not very friendly or didn't bother with it for a long time. ). Anyway, because of the lockdown I decided to seek out a few more people I knew as acquaintances really, and most are fine, funny, interesting and all that, but one or two I wish I hadn't bothered. What seems to interest them puts me right off, or annoys me a bit, and if I knew how to remove them without their realising they'd been dropped I'd do so. :unsure: .
 
grahamg said:
I've got just a few friends on Facebook, (either because I'm not very friendly or didn't bother with it for a long time. ). Anyway, because of the lockdown I decided to seek out a few more people I knew as acquaintances really, and most are fine, funny, interesting and all that, but one or two I wish I hadn't bothered. What seems to interest them puts me right off, or annoys me a bit, and if I knew how to remove them without their realising they'd been dropped I'd do so. :unsure: .
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There's a setting where you remain friends, but you don't see their posts....or you can "snooze" them for 30 days and not see their posts.
 
gennie said:
In my opinion, Facebook has ruined a perfectly good word - 'friend' - by making it meaningless. Another good word that social media has ruined -'like'. Both used to actually mean something.

JMHO so don't anybody get their panties in a twist.
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But don't you, like, like Like?

Humanity is not moving forward, is it? I was recently observing that the sci-fi I read growing up hypothesized that we would have no need of our bodies in the future, and everything would be based on a higher order of thought. I think they got that one backwards.
 
In The Sticks said:
But don't you, like, like Like?

Humanity is not moving forward, is it? I was recently observing that the sci-fi I read growing up hypothesized that we would have no need of our bodies in the future, and everything would be based on a higher order of thought. I think they got that one backwards.
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Sci fi predicted that we wouldn't need our bodies - but, much of our current population only seems to require thumbs!
 
IrisSenior said:
Ok my panties are in a twist now. I DO have friends (and family) on FB and I DO use the 'like' and mean it. If I don't like someone's post on FB then I ignore it. Some things are ruined on FB and that is sad. I post stuff that I think someone wiil like and is they don't, so what.
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Please, Iris, untwist quickly. That can cause terrible circulation problems. :)
 
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