Forgive and Forget?

I look at the word 'forgive' in different ways... sometimes its the traditional, common way of thinking about the word 'forgive'.... but I prefer to think of it as 'just letting it go'...not dwelling on it... Especially in cases where no one has actually 'asked' you to forgive them... Not too long ago, someone I trusted, really turned on me and actually threatened me... he was never sorry...and for a long time, we just ignored each other (we live in the same bldg.).... I hate grudge bearing of any kind (not healthy!) ... so I just started in being friendly and talking to him occasionally (we have mutual friends) ... and I wish him nothing but well... however, I will never trust him in the same way as I previously did... but maybe....this is/was 'my lesson' to learn in always 'thinking before you speak'... ya know??? :)
 

I can forgive but to me forgiving is NOT giving the person another chance to do the same thing over again. Most people are just sad or remorseful because they got caught. If someone steals from me, I can be sure they'd do it again if I let them have that chance. As for forgetting, I don't dwell on things but I certainly remember so they don't get another chance to take me down!
 
Denise1952 said:
I don't think it's possible, for me anyway, to forget some things. I can forgive, but I'm the type that will be timid about forgetting what happens. I relate it to a hot burner on the stove. I may get burned, and I'll still keep the stove, but I won't forget what happens if I touch a hot pan, or the burner.
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Agree -- that's a great analogy! Besides the fact that it's almost impossible to really forget something that has hurt you deeply, sometimes you need to remember so it won't happen to you again.
 

Father Ralphy forgives all here for their bad thoughts and nasty comments about me, except for Phil, as even I am not a perfect spiritual being...
 
"It never happened" is my standard response if someone apologizes to me. I have come to a point where I don't believe any of us can help doing what we do. We are who we are because our lives have made us that way. Blaming someone for offending us is like blaming the cloud that rains on us. I just remember to take my umbrella next time. :rain:
 
SifuPhil said:
Are you the "forgive and forget" type? Does it come naturally to you, or is it something you've had to work on through the years?

Do you just forgive, but never forget?

Or, depending upon the severity of the situation, do you neither forgive nor forget?
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It sometimes takes me awhile to forgive, but it is something I choose to do always. Forgetting takes a lot longer and depending on what the other person has done I may never trust them again, rebuild my trust slowly, or even decide to sever the relationship completely.
 
Babsinbloom65 said:
It sometimes takes me awhile to forgive, but it is something I choose to do always. Forgetting takes a lot longer and depending on what the other person has done I may never trust them again, rebuild my trust slowly, or even decide to sever the relationship completely.
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Me, too. Forgiving someone doesn't require that I give them the opportunity to hurt me again.
 
I forgive easily, often forget. Here in the normal world. As for the atrocity that masqueraded as my childhood, my forgiveness extends only to allowing those monsters to remain alive, instead of killing them. I would love to forget, but cannot.
 
Shalimar said:
I forgive easily, often forget.
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Oh, good - you won't mind the box of 3-year-old K-Mart chocolates I sent you for AVD then ... :p


Here in the normal world. As for the atrocity that masqueraded as my childhood, my forgiveness extends only to allowing those monsters to remain alive, instead of killing them. I would love to forget, but cannot.
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Totally understood.
 
Shali, I am sorry you went through that traumatic period of your life and hope that someday you will make peace with it.

I don't have a problem with minor infractions and let a lot of things go, sometimes unwisely, but with the big things that affect my life, I really think its wise to be very careful and avoid those people, especially if they are unrepentant.
 
I wrote this poem about 10 years ago. It's a poem that addresses how I deal with evil doings/doers...


Warriors Dance
by Sharon


I waste no thoughts of love on you
I do not cry in my pain I dance
and for every evil you do me
I hold myself from wishing pain and darkness befall you
I hold my anger
I place my anger in my hands and blow it away
like a dandelion weed
and I dance
I let the dance wash over me
You send me poison
and I dance
I dance an ancient warriors dance
guarding my heart from
bitter darkness
I am relentless
you cannot harm me
because I know
that when the dance is over
a bloom will be found
at the bottom of my pain
a snowy blossom
beautiful
unfolding with new found
light it will
blanket me
and I will have one moment
of perfect joy
so I dance






(This poem was copyrighted 10 years ago)
 
fureverywhere said:
Holding on to anger and resentment doesn't hurt the person it's aimed at but it will eat you alive. That being said...I suppose as the Cancer sign of the zodiac I can forgive, but I nevah forget. The answer..."Virtues for $10,000...What is vodka?".
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I'm with you, Fur. Being angry only hurts yourself and no one else. Let it go but fogetting... well, it might be smarter to remember the hurt, learn from it and how to avoid it in the future; then move on.
 

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