Friend Diagnosed With ALS

oldman

oldman

Well-known Member
Location
PA
When I was in high school, three other guys and myself were all but inseparable during our free time. Most of our friends (and teachers) called us the Rat Pack. We spent a lot of time together from when we were in 9th grade through our senior year. After graduation, it was like most other high school relationships, we kind of drifted apart.

Today, I received a call from one of the former members of the 'pack' and I was actually surprised to hear from him, so I figured something may be up. He has been living in Tennessee for a good many years and I really haven't seen him probably in 20 years, at least. Anyway, he floored me when he told me that the leader of the 'pack' has been diagnosed with ALS. The caller told me that at this time he was having trouble with his breathing.

I also have learned that his wife and him are going to be moving to Massachusetts, so that they can be close to his parents. His dad is a doctor and at one time was a Professor at Harvard, so I am sure that he will be in good hands.

I made the suggestion that the other three of us should get together and visit him. The fellow that called me offered to put the visit together by getting the other two guys to agree and then for us to pick a date. I don't know what his prognosis is at this time, but I have heard that a person can live with this disease for quite some time. I will have to study up on it.

It was just a shock that I still haven't gotten over. I really feel bad about this.
 

Sorry to hear about your friend Oldman, nice gesture to group together and visit him if possible.
 
Thanks, SB. I started reading about this disease and a few things I did find disturbing. One is that we do not know what causes it, two is that veterans are twice as likely to get this disease and three is that if the patient does well on the medication, they may live another five years.
 

My wonderful vet had ALS years ago. It was such a loss to the community when she passed. She continued to practice as long as she possibly could,but finally had to give it up. Former 49er football player Dwight Clark was recently diagnosed with it as well. He was our neighbor,along with Joe Montana,when we lived in the SF Bay Area. I was reading the other day that football players are prone to develop ALS as well. So many unanswered questions. Prayers for your friend.
 
oldman said:
When I was in high school, three other guys and myself were all but inseparable during our free time. Most of our friends (and teachers) called us the Rat Pack. We spent a lot of time together from when we were in 9th grade through our senior year. After graduation, it was like most other high school relationships, we kind of drifted apart.

Today, I received a call from one of the former members of the 'pack' and I was actually surprised to hear from him, so I figured something may be up. He has been living in Tennessee for a good many years and I really haven't seen him probably in 20 years, at least. Anyway, he floored me when he told me that the leader of the 'pack' has been diagnosed with ALS. The caller told me that at this time he was having trouble with his breathing.

I also have learned that his wife and him are going to be moving to Massachusetts, so that they can be close to his parents. His dad is a doctor and at one time was a Professor at Harvard, so I am sure that he will be in good hands.

I made the suggestion that the other three of us should get together and visit him. The fellow that called me offered to put the visit together by getting the other two guys to agree and then for us to pick a date. I don't know what his prognosis is at this time, but I have heard that a person can live with this disease for quite some time. I will have to study up on it.

It was just a shock that I still haven't gotten over. I really feel bad about this.
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Were you a Marine? It is the credo of the Marines to never leave a man down. This is one reason why Marines are often very close after their term of service. Also, people often start to grieve before their friend passes. Sometimes begins with a feeling that life is losing its meaning. The good news is that grief, though it challenges our spirit, leaves us stronger when it departs. It sounds like you love your friend very much.
 
Uncontrolable said:
Were you a Marine? It is the credo of the Marines to never leave a man down. This is one reason why Marines are often very close after their term of service. Also, people often start to grieve before their friend passes. Sometimes begins with a feeling that life is losing its meaning. The good news is that grief, though it challenges our spirit, leaves us stronger when it departs. It sounds like you love your friend very much.
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I am a Marine. Our creed is that "Once you become a Marine, you are always a Marine." If you ever saw the movie, "Full Metal Jacket," the DI in that movie said, "God loves Marines. That's why there are so many of them in Heaven." OTOH, I once saw a banner that read, "Marines never die, they just go to Hell and regroup." I like the first one better.

My friend was in the USAF. He didn't want to go to Vietnam, but ended up there anyway. Unfortunately, I didn't meet up with him over there. He is one of the nicest guys anyone would ever want to meet. And you are right, although I never gave it any thought. I think that I may have already started the grieving process. In the meantime, it will be great if the three of us get to meet with him soon.
 
I hope you can get a visit together. I'm sure your friend would appreciate it, and it would probably be good for all of you to see one another again.

About the grieving process, I know that the minute I knew my mother's diagnosis was terminal I started grieving. The "knowing" was like a huge kick in the chest I never got over.
 
About 15 years ago, I had a friend die from the AIDS virus. It was absolutely a horrible experience. After seeing some of the things that I saw when I was in Vietnam, I thought that I would never again see anything comparable, but watching a person die of AIDS isn't even describable. The way that some people have told me what to expect from ALS will be the next closest thing to it. I can't imagine watching someone trying to eat and swallowing and choking on every bite of their food, or not even being able to print their own name. One person that I know whose Mother died from ALS told me yesterday that his Mom really suffered so bad that she wanted someone to put her out of her misery. He said she just laid in bed waiting and hoping to die the last few months. She wasn't even able to feed herself,s o they hooked up a feeder tube into her stomach. I don't understand why when it gets to that point they just don't stop the treatments and doing what they can to keep the person alive. I am sure that if it was me laying there, I wouldn't want any help.
 
oldman said:
About 15 years ago, I had a friend die from the AIDS virus. It was absolutely a horrible experience. After seeing some of the things that I saw when I was in Vietnam, I thought that I would never again see anything comparable, but watching a person die of AIDS isn't even describable. The way that some people have told me what to expect from ALS will be the next closest thing to it. I can't imagine watching someone trying to eat and swallowing and choking on every bite of their food, or not even being able to print their own name. One person that I know whose Mother died from ALS told me yesterday that his Mom really suffered so bad that she wanted someone to put her out of her misery. He said she just laid in bed waiting and hoping to die the last few months. She wasn't even able to feed herself,s o they hooked up a feeder tube into her stomach. I don't understand why when it gets to that point they just don't stop the treatments and doing what they can to keep the person alive. I am sure that if it was me laying there, I wouldn't want any help.
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I agree with you, Oldman, In situations like this, I wish physician assisted suicide were available. It isn't, here, yet. I do not know if I would take advantage of it, but I believe it should be available for those who would want to, rather than suffering through the inevitable bitter end.

I had two friends die of AIDS about 30 years ago and it was, as you said, absolutely, incredibly awful. I've no personal experience with ALS, but I understand it is one of the worst ways to die. I'm so sorry for your friend.
 

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