Friendship: Has.it ever...

I value friendships and try keeping them when possible.

But this subject is fresh on my mind, so I'm going to post about an actual event. One friend I've had for about 13 years recently emailed me a recorded prayer and told me to learn it and repeat it every day to "receive blessings." I wrote her back and thanked her for it. I told her it was very nice, and I would remember the principles behind it, but when I pray, the words have to be mine and come from my heart.

She wrote back a very snippy reply, and it went on and on, which isn't unusual - she's known for that. To keep the peace, I've always overlooked that side of her, but this time was the last straw. I didn't answer, and won't. Ghosting her.
 

We really enjoyed living here in a senior mobile home park. It got us off stairs and we made several friends.However those dear lovely people died one by one and now we have one friend here. One other dear friend lives several hours away, so it has become a friend by phone. I have 3 cousins left, 2 in California the other don't know where she is.

When i was 10 years old my aunt adopted a baby and we all just adored her, then a year or so later she adopted another baby and again we all loved him so much. A few years ago that baby boy died much too young of a heart attack, and just recently my baby cousin at just 75 had to be put in a care facility as she needed so much care. That just breaks my heart! Thankfully DH and DS are still with me.
 
C50 said:
I think as I've gotten older I have become less tolerant. In the past I held on to some friendships simply because of our history, but I don't do that any longer, now if I don't truly enjoy the persons company I put space between us, and I don't feel bad about it.
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I hear that. The way I feel, I probably don't have that many years left and who wants to spend it in the company of people whom you don't enjoy.
 
Here I am, the oddball out again. When someone does me wrong, I try to stay away from them. When that doesn't work, I sometimes consider the source and forgive them but in the back of my mind, I will not trust them again. What's that saying? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I guess I'm what you'd call a "bleeding heart". I hate that, but old habits die hard.
 
Aunt Bea said:
....." seem to naturally and effortlessly come and go, a few reappear from time to time.

I’m the first to admit that I don’t put much effort into maintaining friendships/relationships and I’m enough of a loner where it really doesn’t bother me "
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^ This, except that - I do have a few long time friendships - but they all live a plane ride away.

I have my husband (best friend) and my sons (though, one is a plane ride away) --- but for the most part; I'm an introvert.

I would LOVE to meet a female around my age to hang out with - but alas, it's easier said than done!
 
TeePee said:
Here I am, the oddball out again. When someone does me wrong, I try to stay away from them. When that doesn't work, I sometimes consider the source and forgive them but in the back of my mind, I will not trust them again. What's that saying? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I guess I'm what you'd call a "bleeding heart". I hate that, but old habits die hard.
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yes but then you only give them permission to hurt you again..... you need to remember there are other people in the world who will not treat you badly , you don't have to stick with people who do, just because they're familiar
 
The few high school friends I had couldn't relate to me (nor I to them) when I got back from Nam. Simple reason was none of them went into the service, so, when I got back, all I got was "you've changed".
Since then, we have moved around the country quite a bit, so, never really had a lot of close friends.
The only true friends I had, I could count on one hand... and now, they all have passed on. Except of course, my very best, best friend... the wife. ♥️
 
I know
hollydolly said:
yes but then you only give them permission to hurt you again..... you need to remember there are other people in the world who will not treat you badly , you don't have to stick with people who do, just because they're familiar
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hollydolly said:
yes but then you only give them permission to hurt you again..... you need to remember there are other people in the world who will not treat you badly , you don't have to stick with people who do, just because they're familiar
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I know. I try to harden my heart and then I go completely the opposite direction, and I hate being cold hearted. I'm a work in progress.
 
CaliS said:
^ This, except that - I do have a few long time friendships - but they all live a plane ride away.

I have my husband (best friend) and my sons (though, one is a plane ride away) --- but for the most part; I'm an introvert.

I would LOVE to meet a female around my age to hang out with - but alas, it's easier said than done!
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Well...if you weren't on the west coast, I'd hang out with you.
 
I'm straightforward when friends cross the line of acceptable boundaries. I'm not confrontational, I just tell them it wasn't cool and don't do it again, and, unless the reason is obvious, I explain why, because I think that's important. For example, my closest friends understand I'm dealing with physical limitations and that I have to schedule activities around when I take my pain meds. Someone who needs to be reminded all the time is no friend.

That's a minor example, but I don't befriend people who are rude, self-absorbed, have a crappy sense of humor, or prove to be a pain in the keister in any way. Those are short-lived acquaintances. And, again, if I don't enjoy being around someone, I'm straightforward about it.
 

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