From "The Book of Awesome", Smiling and Thinking of Friends Who Are Gone

[fureverywhere]

This series and blog is by Neil Pasricha. Most people either love him or hate him. For me it's a great reminder to appreciate the little things. I totally suck at that and easily drown myself in the big picture. But just flip through one of his books. The things of every day that are just...well you know.

I opened to a page tonight where he recalls a good friend who died in his early thirties. But one of those people who you know will be with you in spirit for eternity. His friend was there for him in sports, in writing, in his new book venture which became a success.

There was a guy at one of my old jobs. Philip O' Conner, you had to love him. Proud Irish and a lap puppy when his wife was around. At work he was a hoot...he'd have a snort from the bottle in his trunk and we'd walk out to the work floor. He called me Red and took me under his wing.

Any lovely lady who walked by and he would go all Benny Hill. To the office staff he would tell jokes so filthy they would regularly kick him out. But with me he was a sweetheart and we were a team. He would get people and I would do interviews in warp speed. We got more people in a day than some did in a week.

One of his passions was pick up b-ball games on the weekend. He had a heart attack there one day. I know it's how he would have wanted to go, maybe in his mid-sixties. When I read the "awesome" story I could still hear his voice. So many people pass through our lives and some just stand out there.

 

[Debby]

He sounds like an interesting character fureverywhere. I imagine that in everyone's life, there is a 'Phil'.

In my case he's an Orv (short for Orville and yes, someone actually did name their kid Orville but that was probably back when the name was 'cool'). Orv was my mom's boyfriend when I was about 13 although after a few years they broke up because of his drinking, but he remained a dear friend of the family. When he was finally able to get that monkey off his back, he didn't leave us but stepped in as the Pappa to my little girls when they were born. I sure got to love him and my only regret is that once our kids got a little older and we were doing the carpool and school projects and meetings and such, I got so busy with life that I neglected our relationship . That makes me sad every time I think of it.

But you know, from all my reading about near death experiences, it seems that those we love(d) and hope to see in those first moments on the other side will be there to welcome us, so Orv is top on my list!

 

[Bluecheese50]

I realise I am weird, but I have never felt grief when anyone has died, even my favourite Grandmother of whom I was very fond.

 

[Underock1]

I think its a matter of how much of a part of your daily life they are at the time of passing. I had a friend I saw almost daily when I was young. He died unexpectedly, and that hurt. I have since lost both parents, a sister and a brother. All of whom I loved,
but were not closely involved in my day to day life at the time of their passing. I was saddened, but not to the point of shedding many tears. Losing my wife this year after being inseparable for 58 years is very hard.

 

[Debby]

I'm so sorry for your loss Underock! You are in a very hard phase in your life right now aren't you?

Well I'm sure that you have the love and blessings of everyone here as you go through this time:love_heart:

 

[fureverywhere]

So sorry Underock...I remember my Dad in the years after my Mom passed, he put on a brave front but found out years later how close to suicide he really was. I don't know if I could bear losing my husband.

 

[Shalimar]

I have faced a lot of loss, both in my private and professional lives. In order to cope, I learned some amazing coping strategies, which occasionally break down. Some people touched my life in ways that have left a lifelong imprint. I am grateful, I try to honour their memories by paying it forward whenever possible, some I will mourn forever on some level, but
sometimes that is the price of loving people. We treasure them while they are here, and try to accept that grief is an inevitable
part of life for the majority of us.

 

[fureverywhere]

I think too it's keeping them alive in spirit. When I was typing the OP, it was so uplifting...besides being thirty again. Writing about him brought him back to me for awhile there. The same thing when you share a story in any context. I'll make a recipe with my girl and share funny stories of her grandmother's baking efforts the whole time. My Mom is there in the room with us ya know? Even though it's been years and my daughter never knew her grandma...she's there all the same.