Fun & things to look forward to

noolsg

New Member
I’m lacking those two things in my life as I get older. I’m late 60’s and I wonder what you all do for fun and what do you do to have something to look forward to.
My life is full of depression, a mentally handicapped son and a husband with multiple complaints that stop him leaving the house. I also have a six year old grandson by my other son. He makes a big effort to call once a week with my grandson. Otherwise I’m not invited to be involved in his life. Maybe I would if I mentioned to my son but I don’t like to pressure him. I’m very unhappy and would like to take the opportunity that a new year can bring by trying to add fun and something to look forward to
 

noolsg, perhaps your son thinks that you’re not free to do social things since your DH and son don’t leave the house. Perhaps suggest meeting your other son and GS for a lunch somewhere. If he sees you out and about, he may reciprocate. Or can you have lunch/dinner at your place.

Are there any interesting organizations nearby for you to join?
 

Unless I am too sick, I look forward to and have fun learning new stuff about our world each day. That never fails. Our world is changing at such a rapid rate that it 's almost everyday something "big" happens, and the dynamics of our whole world shifts some. I like to imagine how all these events shape our reality especially for the younger generations.
 
I’m lacking those two things in my life as I get older. I’m late 60’s and I wonder what you all do for fun and what do you do to have something to look forward to.
My life is full of depression, a mentally handicapped son and a husband with multiple complaints that stop him leaving the house. I also have a six year old grandson by my other son. He makes a big effort to call once a week with my grandson. Otherwise I’m not invited to be involved in his life. Maybe I would if I mentioned to my son but I don’t like to pressure him. I’m very unhappy and would like to take the opportunity that a new year can bring by trying to add fun and something to look forward to
I feel for you. Hopefully you can benefit from the following ....
1. Meet yourself where you are

Depression affects millions of people, including some in your life. You may not realize they face similar challenges, emotions, and obstacles.

Being open, accepting, and loving toward yourself and what you’re going through may help you navigate depression.

Every day with this disorder is different. It’s important to take your mental health seriously and accept that where you are right now isn’t where you’ll always be.

2. Consider a walk around the block

On days when you feel you can’t get out of bed, exercise may seem like the last thing you’d want to do. But exercise and physical activity can help reduce symptoms of depression and improve energy levels.

ResearchTrusted Source suggests that, for some people, exercise can be as effective as medication at relieving depression symptoms. It may also help preventTrusted Source future depressive episodes.

Even when you feel you’re unable to or have little energy, see if you’d be willing to do the opposite of what your mood tells you to do. Instead, set a small goal for yourself, such as walking around the block.

3. Know that today isn’t indicative of tomorrow

Internal emotions and thoughts can change from day to day. Tracking experiences through journaling or keeping a mood diary can help you to remember this.

If you were unsuccessful at getting out of bed or accomplishing goals today, remember that you haven’t lost tomorrow’s opportunity to try again.

Give yourself the grace to accept that while some days will be difficult, others will also be less difficult. Try to look forward to tomorrow’s fresh start.

4. Assess the parts instead of generalizing the whole

Depression can tinge recollections with difficult emotions. You may find yourself focusing on things that are unhelpful or perceived as difficult.

Try to stop this overgeneralization. Push yourself to recognize the good. If it helps, write down what was meaningful about the event or day. You can track what you achieved that day and which activities were enjoyable.

5. Do the opposite of what the ‘depression voice’ suggests

The automatic, unhelpful voice in your head may talk you out of self-help. But if you learn to recognize this voice, you can learn to work through it.

If you believe an event won’t be fun or worth your time, say to yourself, “You might be right, but it’ll be better than just sitting here another night.” You may soon see that automatic thought isn’t always helpful.

»MORE: Depression is one of the most common mental health conditions: Learn more.

6. Set attainable goals

Instead of compiling a long list of tasks, consider setting small goals. Setting and accomplishing these goals can provide a sense of control and accomplishment and help with motivation.

Attainable goals may include:

  • Don’t clean the house; take the trash out.
  • Don’t do all the laundry that’s piled up; sort the piles for later.
  • Don’t clear out your entire email inbox; just address any time-sensitive messages.
When you’ve done a small thing, set your eyes on another small thing, and then another. This way, you have a list of tangible achievements and not an untouched to-do list.

7. Reward your efforts

All goals are worthy of recognition, and all successes are worthy of celebration. When you achieve a goal, do your best to recognize it.

You may not feel like celebrating with a cake and confetti, but recognizing your own successes can be a powerful tool for depression’s negative weight.

The memory of a job well done may be especially powerful against unhelpful self-talk and overgeneralization.

8. Create a routine

If depressive symptoms disrupt your daily routine, a gentle schedule may help you feel in control. These plans don’t have to map out an entire day.

Focus on creating a loose but structured routine to help you keep your daily pace.

9. Do something you enjoy

Depression can push you to give in to your fatigue. It may feel more powerful than preferred emotions.

Try to push back and do something you love — something that’s pleasurable or meaningful. It could be playing an instrument, painting, hiking, or biking.

Engaging in meaningful activities lifts your mood or energy, which can further motivate you to continue to engage in activities that help with navigating symptoms.

10. Listen to music

ResearchTrusted Source shows music can improve your mood and symptoms of depression. It may also strengthen your reception of positive emotions.

Music can be especially beneficial when performed in group settings, such as a musical ensemble or band.

You can also reap some of the same rewards simply by listening.

11. Spend time in nature

Time in nature can have a powerful influence on a person’s mood. ResearchTrusted Source suggests that walks in nature may improve depressive symptoms in people with clinical depression.

Time in natural spaces may improve mood and cognition and lower the risk of mental health disorders. But there’s only limited research on the direct effect of nature on those with clinical depression.

Consider taking a walk at lunch among the trees or spending time in your local park. Or plan a weekend hike. These activities can help you reconnect with nature and soak in some rays at the same time.

12. Spend time with loved ones

Depression can tempt you to isolate yourself and withdraw from people you love and trust, but face-to-face time can help wash away those tendencies.

If you’re unable to spend time together in person, phone calls or video chats can also be helpful.

Try to remind yourself these people care about you. Resist the temptation to feel like you’re a burden. You need the interaction — and they likely do too.

13. Express your feelings

Consider writing or journaling about what you’re experiencing. Then, when the feelings lift, write about that too. ResearchTrusted Source suggests that keeping a journal can be a beneficial add-on method for managing mental health conditions.

Writing down your thoughts can help you express what you’re feeling more clearly. It can also help you keep track of your symptoms daily and identify their causes.

You can make a goal to write for a few minutes each day or week. Most importantly, what you want to write about is completely up to you.

14. Try something new entirely

When you do the same thing day after day, you use the same parts of your brain.

Doing new things can feel rewarding and may improve your overall well-being and strengthen your social relationships.

To reap these benefits, consider trying a new sport, creative class, or cooking technique.

15. Try volunteering

You can knock out a few birds with one stone — spending time with other people and doing something new — by volunteering and giving your time to someone or something else.

You may be used to receiving help from friends, but reaching out and providing help may actually improve your mental health more.

Bonus: People who volunteer experience physical benefits too. This includes a lowered riskTrusted Source of hypertension and improved sleep.

16. Practice gratitude

When you do something you love, or even when you find a new activity you enjoy, you may be able to benefit your mental health more by taking time to be thankful for it.

Practicing gratitude can have lasting positive effectsTrusted Source on your overall mental health.

What’s more, writing down your gratitude — including in notes to others — can be particularly meaningful.

17. Incorporate meditation

Stress and anxiety can prolong your depression symptoms. Finding relaxation techniques can help you lower stress and invite more joy and balance into your day.

ResearchTrusted Source suggests that mindfulness activities may help you improve your sense of well-being and feel more connected to what’s happening around you. These activities can include:

18. Eat well

There’s no magic diet that will treat depression. But what you put into your body can have a real and significant effect on the way you feel.

Some people also feel better and have more energy when they avoid sugar, preservatives, and processed foods.

If you have the means, consider meeting with a doctor or registered dietitian for guidance.

Eating a diet rich in lean meats, vegetables, and grains may be a great place to start. Try to limit stimulants such as caffeineTrusted Source, coffee, and soda and depressants such as alcoholTrusted Source.

19. Consider limiting drugs and alcohol

Substances such as drugsTrusted Source or alcoholTrusted Source can contribute to perpetuating feelings of sadness.

On the other hand, people who live with addiction may experience symptoms of depressionTrusted Source.

You may want to consider limiting or avoiding the use of alcohol and other substances to help your depressive symptoms.

20. Practice sleep hygiene

Sleep disturbancesTrusted Source are common with depression. You may not sleep well, or you may sleep too much. Both can make depression symptoms worse.

Aim for 8 hours of sleep per night. Try to get into a healthy sleeping routine.

Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day can help you with your daily schedule. Getting the proper amount of sleep may also help you feel more balanced and energized throughout your day.

21. Accept the validity of your emotions

Suppressing and compartmentalizing your feelings may seem like a strategic way to cope with the difficult symptoms of depression. But this technique is ultimately unhealthyTrusted Source and ineffective.

If you’re having a down day, acknowledge it. Notice and name your emotions and try to bring your attention to engaging in activities that are helpful instead of focusing on the emotions.

Seeing the ebb and flow of depressive symptoms can be instructive for both self-healing and hope.

22. Consider treatment

You may also find it helpful to speak with a professional about what you’re going through. A general practitioner may be able to refer you to a therapist or other specialist.

They can assess your symptoms and help develop a clinical treatment plan tailored to your needs. This may include various options, such as medication and therapy.

Finding the right treatment for you may take some time, so be open with a doctor or healthcare professional about what is and isn’t working. They’ll work with you to find the best option.
 
noolsg, perhaps your son thinks that you’re not free to do social things since your DH and son don’t leave the house. Perhaps suggest meeting your other son and GS for a lunch somewhere. If he sees you out and about, he may reciprocate. Or can you have lunch/dinner at your place.

Are there any interesting organizations nearby for you to join?
I am in a knitting circle that meets once a week. I have tried to join two other local groups for retirees and they took my details last April and said they are both full.
my son runs a business and is very busy but maybe I’ll ask him to meet me for lunch. I’m afraid my husband will get jealous though
 
Unless I am too sick, I look forward to and have fun learning new stuff about our world each day. That never fails. Our world is changing at such a rapid rate that it 's almost everyday something "big" happens, and the dynamics of our whole world shifts some. I like to imagine how all these events shape our reality especially for the younger generations.
How do you do that please
 
I have tried to join two other local groups for retirees and they took my details last April and said they are both full.
Wow. I’ve never heard of limited numbers in a group. Get back to them. Maybe they misplaced your application.
 
I feel for you. Hopefully you can benefit from the following ....
1. Meet yourself where you are

Depression affects millions of people, including some in your life. You may not realize they face similar challenges, emotions, and obstacles.

Being open, accepting, and loving toward yourself and what you’re going through may help you navigate depression.

Every day with this disorder is different. It’s important to take your mental health seriously and accept that where you are right now isn’t where you’ll always be.

2. Consider a walk around the block

On days when you feel you can’t get out of bed, exercise may seem like the last thing you’d want to do. But exercise and physical activity can help reduce symptoms of depression and improve energy levels.

ResearchTrusted Source suggests that, for some people, exercise can be as effective as medication at relieving depression symptoms. It may also help preventTrusted Source future depressive episodes.

Even when you feel you’re unable to or have little energy, see if you’d be willing to do the opposite of what your mood tells you to do. Instead, set a small goal for yourself, such as walking around the block.

3. Know that today isn’t indicative of tomorrow

Internal emotions and thoughts can change from day to day. Tracking experiences through journaling or keeping a mood diary can help you to remember this.

If you were unsuccessful at getting out of bed or accomplishing goals today, remember that you haven’t lost tomorrow’s opportunity to try again.

Give yourself the grace to accept that while some days will be difficult, others will also be less difficult. Try to look forward to tomorrow’s fresh start.

4. Assess the parts instead of generalizing the whole

Depression can tinge recollections with difficult emotions. You may find yourself focusing on things that are unhelpful or perceived as difficult.

Try to stop this overgeneralization. Push yourself to recognize the good. If it helps, write down what was meaningful about the event or day. You can track what you achieved that day and which activities were enjoyable.

5. Do the opposite of what the ‘depression voice’ suggests

The automatic, unhelpful voice in your head may talk you out of self-help. But if you learn to recognize this voice, you can learn to work through it.

If you believe an event won’t be fun or worth your time, say to yourself, “You might be right, but it’ll be better than just sitting here another night.” You may soon see that automatic thought isn’t always helpful.

»MORE: Depression is one of the most common mental health conditions: Learn more.

6. Set attainable goals

Instead of compiling a long list of tasks, consider setting small goals. Setting and accomplishing these goals can provide a sense of control and accomplishment and help with motivation.

Attainable goals may include:

  • Don’t clean the house; take the trash out.
  • Don’t do all the laundry that’s piled up; sort the piles for later.
  • Don’t clear out your entire email inbox; just address any time-sensitive messages.
When you’ve done a small thing, set your eyes on another small thing, and then another. This way, you have a list of tangible achievements and not an untouched to-do list.

7. Reward your efforts

All goals are worthy of recognition, and all successes are worthy of celebration. When you achieve a goal, do your best to recognize it.

You may not feel like celebrating with a cake and confetti, but recognizing your own successes can be a powerful tool for depression’s negative weight.

The memory of a job well done may be especially powerful against unhelpful self-talk and overgeneralization.

8. Create a routine

If depressive symptoms disrupt your daily routine, a gentle schedule may help you feel in control. These plans don’t have to map out an entire day.

Focus on creating a loose but structured routine to help you keep your daily pace.

9. Do something you enjoy

Depression can push you to give in to your fatigue. It may feel more powerful than preferred emotions.

Try to push back and do something you love — something that’s pleasurable or meaningful. It could be playing an instrument, painting, hiking, or biking.

Engaging in meaningful activities lifts your mood or energy, which can further motivate you to continue to engage in activities that help with navigating symptoms.

10. Listen to music

ResearchTrusted Source shows music can improve your mood and symptoms of depression. It may also strengthen your reception of positive emotions.

Music can be especially beneficial when performed in group settings, such as a musical ensemble or band.

You can also reap some of the same rewards simply by listening.

11. Spend time in nature

Time in nature can have a powerful influence on a person’s mood. ResearchTrusted Source suggests that walks in nature may improve depressive symptoms in people with clinical depression.

Time in natural spaces may improve mood and cognition and lower the risk of mental health disorders. But there’s only limited research on the direct effect of nature on those with clinical depression.

Consider taking a walk at lunch among the trees or spending time in your local park. Or plan a weekend hike. These activities can help you reconnect with nature and soak in some rays at the same time.

12. Spend time with loved ones

Depression can tempt you to isolate yourself and withdraw from people you love and trust, but face-to-face time can help wash away those tendencies.

If you’re unable to spend time together in person, phone calls or video chats can also be helpful.

Try to remind yourself these people care about you. Resist the temptation to feel like you’re a burden. You need the interaction — and they likely do too.

13. Express your feelings

Consider writing or journaling about what you’re experiencing. Then, when the feelings lift, write about that too. ResearchTrusted Source suggests that keeping a journal can be a beneficial add-on method for managing mental health conditions.

Writing down your thoughts can help you express what you’re feeling more clearly. It can also help you keep track of your symptoms daily and identify their causes.

You can make a goal to write for a few minutes each day or week. Most importantly, what you want to write about is completely up to you.

14. Try something new entirely

When you do the same thing day after day, you use the same parts of your brain.

Doing new things can feel rewarding and may improve your overall well-being and strengthen your social relationships.

To reap these benefits, consider trying a new sport, creative class, or cooking technique.

15. Try volunteering

You can knock out a few birds with one stone — spending time with other people and doing something new — by volunteering and giving your time to someone or something else.

You may be used to receiving help from friends, but reaching out and providing help may actually improve your mental health more.

Bonus: People who volunteer experience physical benefits too. This includes a lowered riskTrusted Source of hypertension and improved sleep.

16. Practice gratitude

When you do something you love, or even when you find a new activity you enjoy, you may be able to benefit your mental health more by taking time to be thankful for it.

Practicing gratitude can have lasting positive effectsTrusted Source on your overall mental health.

What’s more, writing down your gratitude — including in notes to others — can be particularly meaningful.

17. Incorporate meditation

Stress and anxiety can prolong your depression symptoms. Finding relaxation techniques can help you lower stress and invite more joy and balance into your day.

ResearchTrusted Source suggests that mindfulness activities may help you improve your sense of well-being and feel more connected to what’s happening around you. These activities can include:

18. Eat well

There’s no magic diet that will treat depression. But what you put into your body can have a real and significant effect on the way you feel.

Some people also feel better and have more energy when they avoid sugar, preservatives, and processed foods.

If you have the means, consider meeting with a doctor or registered dietitian for guidance.

Eating a diet rich in lean meats, vegetables, and grains may be a great place to start. Try to limit stimulants such as caffeineTrusted Source, coffee, and soda and depressants such as alcoholTrusted Source.

19. Consider limiting drugs and alcohol

Substances such as drugsTrusted Source or alcoholTrusted Source can contribute to perpetuating feelings of sadness.

On the other hand, people who live with addiction may experience symptoms of depressionTrusted Source.

You may want to consider limiting or avoiding the use of alcohol and other substances to help your depressive symptoms.

20. Practice sleep hygiene

Sleep disturbancesTrusted Source are common with depression. You may not sleep well, or you may sleep too much. Both can make depression symptoms worse.

Aim for 8 hours of sleep per night. Try to get into a healthy sleeping routine.

Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day can help you with your daily schedule. Getting the proper amount of sleep may also help you feel more balanced and energized throughout your day.

21. Accept the validity of your emotions

Suppressing and compartmentalizing your feelings may seem like a strategic way to cope with the difficult symptoms of depression. But this technique is ultimately unhealthyTrusted Source and ineffective.

If you’re having a down day, acknowledge it. Notice and name your emotions and try to bring your attention to engaging in activities that are helpful instead of focusing on the emotions.

Seeing the ebb and flow of depressive symptoms can be instructive for both self-healing and hope.

22. Consider treatment

You may also find it helpful to speak with a professional about what you’re going through. A general practitioner may be able to refer you to a therapist or other specialist.

They can assess your symptoms and help develop a clinical treatment plan tailored to your needs. This may include various options, such as medication and therapy.

Finding the right treatment for you may take some time, so be open with a doctor or healthcare professional about what is and isn’t working. They’ll work with you to find the best option.
That’s an overwhelming amount of information but thanks for researching it
 
You could be suffering from seasonal depression in part which is common this time of year. Look forward to spring and a walk in the park in warmer weather.
Are you the primary caregiver of both the handicapped son and husband with multiple complaints? You are living with both?
 
I would like to know what other older people do for fun and what they look forward to
 
No. My son lives in a care home. I try to bring him home every ten days. It’s very difficult as it involves a long drive. My husband is not too bad, he just can’t drive or walk for more than 15 minutes.
 
Unless I am too sick, I look forward to and have fun learning new stuff about our world each day. That never fails. Our world is changing at such a rapid rate that it 's almost everyday something "big" happens, and the dynamics of our whole world shifts some. I like to imagine how all these events shape our reality especially for the younger generations.
We're living in the most interesting time! I enjoy keeping up with events.
And I look forward to (some of) the seasons, especially spring.
And to good books and movies.
And to time spent on this forum.

I don't allow myself to be used for the easy convenience of others.
I decide when and to whom I give of myself.
 
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How do you do that please
I first have to remember that other people have important lives and when stuff happens that affects them I vicariously live through their eyes and shoes as much as possible to understand how it impacts their lives. . When we have such major events occurring almost daily a lot of people are being affected. This changes the way they will approach life in the future. I like to imagine how it will change. :)
 
I am not sure what I do for fun anybody else would consider fun. Create your own fun. For me, I look forward to my coffee in the morning and checking out what my friends are doing here on the forum. Sometimes going for a walk outside with my camera and just taking pictures of flowers, plants, whatever catches my fancy. I like to watch videos or play music CDs and color in adult coloring books while I watch (I have to keep my hands busy). I am a computer person and spend most of the day on it. The last two mornings I enjoyed writing new blog posts for my blog. I am pretty happy and look forward to each day.
 
I am not sure what I do for fun anybody else would consider fun. Create your own fun. For me, I look forward to my coffee in the morning and checking out what my friends are doing here on the forum. Sometimes going for a walk outside with my camera and just taking pictures of flowers, plants, whatever catches my fancy. I like to watch videos or play music CDs and color in adult coloring books while I watch (I have to keep my hands busy). I am a computer person and spend most of the day on it. The last two mornings I enjoyed writing new blog posts for my blog. I am pretty happy and look forward to each day.
Thank you, you sound happy.
 
I’m content to putter around and I look forward to my comfortable little routine.

“Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.”
– Ralph Marston
 
I’m content to putter around and I look forward to my comfortable little routine.

“Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.”
– Ralph Marston
I love that quote! It is true.
 
=

“Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.”
– Ralph Marston

I love that quote! It is true.

You posted right as I was thinking "What a true quote that is..."!
 


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