Welcome Boon54, I'm not a Christian nor a member of any other spiritual tradition. Yet I've always felt something greater within. I'm not the least bit afraid of death but I do not expect any continuation of my own existence. I have no trouble making sense of God but I don't do that by looking it up. Doesn't work that way; all you get is other people's opinion.
I think of God as the ground of being, that from which all else comes. But I don't think of God as a kind of engineer nor as any kind of being in His own right and certainly nothing like a person. I actually lean toward thinking God creates by becoming what will be and then handing the wheel over to us to find our way. We are special because we can become aware of this inner something greater and have a relationship. I think of it as a partnership, albeit an unequal one.