Golf humor

Years ago dear old Dad brought his sand wedge to the golf store for repair. It went like this...

Golf Tech: "Sir. We're going to cut this club right about here (pointing to a few inches down the grip).

Dad: " I see. Go on..."

Golf tech: "And then we're going to throw it in a dumpster."

🤣 Oh man I laughed when he told me that story! And Dad had such a sour look on his face!
 
L
Beezer said:
Years ago dear old Dad brought his sand wedge to the golf store for repair. It went like this...

Golf Tech: "Sir. We're going to cut this club right about here (pointing to a few inches down the grip).

Dad: " I see. Go on..."

Golf tech: "And then we're going to throw it in a dumpster."

🤣 Oh man I laughed when he told me that story! And Dad had such a sour look on his face!
Click to expand...
Love this quote that is hanging on my wall, “Golf is the perfect combination of exercise and swearing”.
 

A preacher was teeing off on a par 3 hole that had a small lake in front of it.
Not wanting to lose a new ball in the water he pulled out an old golf ball and teed it up.
A voice came thundering down from the heavens, "Does ye have no faith?"
Upon heading that, the preacher replaced the old ball with a new one, then took a few practice swings.
A voice came thundering down from the heavens, "Use the old ball."
 
When in high school, they decided to start a golf club...since
my older bro was a golfer, I decided to try out, borrowed some of his clubs...after several practice days, we headed for a local course...and aftrer making par on two holes, out of eight decided it was not interesting enuff for me LOL.....
 
Jesus and Moses were playing golf.

They were facing a long shot over water to the green. Jesus said, "Jack Nicklaus couldn't make that shot." Moses said, "I'm going for it."

Moses hit it into the water. He shrugged, gestured with his hands, parted the waters, and retrieved the ball.

Two holes later, same situation. Moses said, "Jack Nicklaus couldn't make that shot." Jesus hit the ball into the water. He walked out onto the water and started looking for his ball.

A golfer on the next hole called out, "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?"

Moses called back, "No, he thinks he's Jack Nicklaus."
 
Golf widow complains all the time about husband spending all weekend at the golf course. Husband says, "This weekend, I'll play a quick eighteen early Saturday morning. I'll come home for lunch and we'll have a nice afternoon together."

He leaves on Saturday morning, doesn't come home until six p.m. Wife is furious.

"You don't understand," he says. "On the first hole, Bert teed off, then dropped dead of a heart attack."

"Oh my God," she says. "That's terrible!"

"Yes," he says. "All day long, it was hit the ball, drag the body, hit the ball, drag the body..."
 
JimBob1952 said:
Jesus and Moses were playing golf.

They were facing a long shot over water to the green. Jesus said, "Jack Nicklaus couldn't make that shot." Moses said, "I'm going for it."

Moses hit it into the water. He shrugged, gestured with his hands, parted the waters, and retrieved the ball.

Two holes later, same situation. Moses said, "Jack Nicklaus couldn't make that shot." Jesus hit the ball into the water. He walked out onto the water and started looking for his ball.

A golfer on the next hole called out, "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?"

Moses called back, "No, he thinks he's Jack Nicklaus."
Click to expand...

I actually had the great privilege of telling a version of that joke to Arnold Palmer (using his name, of course). I was working registration at a golf show and told the joke to golfer Bob Tway. Later that day, he came up with Arnold Palmer in tow and said, "Tell Arnie that joke". Arnie, being the really nice guy that he was, laughed.
 
So....the guy comes home after golf & his wife asks him how the game went.
Wife: "How did your game go?"
Husband: "Well, it was great - until my buddy George had a heart attack on the 5th hole. Then, it was
Hit the ball, drag George......Hit the ball, drag George.....Hit the ball, drag George......
 

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