Oh yes, there's days where I do feel lonely! However, my darling in the last year's he worked, was on contracts. It meant that wherever we moved, set-up home for us and munchkins, the company would move him further afield. Results, munchkins and I were months on end by ourselves. That was difficult enough to go through but it affected our kids more so.
I kept busy with organising the same over and again. Packing, unpacking boxes, setting up furniture, arranging installation, the whole lot. Not everything worked out all the time, lol, so it kept me, daughter and son occupied. When schooling became a problem, I took over their education. To this day, daughter says those were the best times and both went to College. I'm a proud Mum.
So, hubby died just over 6 months ago. The worst was arranging his funeral as it had been just over 5 years we had arranged a funeral for our son. That's where I felt the loneliest. Finally end of May, that took place. Due to Pandemic, there was only 7 people present, I felt hubby would feel lonely at that time.
These months since, it was tackling the changes of names and account holders. I'd say that was 75% successful. There's remnants of nightmares but it's ongoing and looks promising. So, the bills are direct debits, I just update my account once a month.
Now, I do keep busy, so does daughter. We work together in her Avon customers every two weeks. I've cleaned out the stuff that we'd meant to recycle after our latest house move. The hardest was packing all hubby's belongings but we got through it. Pandemic troubles again, many charity shops no longer have drivers for pickups. Thankfully, we found a good Samaritan at the Sally Ann.
At the end of the day, waiting for posts to come (postal strikes ongoing), emails unanswered, phone calls not returned, yadiyada... Not having hubby to discuss things is where I feel the worst. At my age and after having a good marriage for 36 years, I'm in no hurry to date again.
I just enjoy a daily convo with good friends. Thankfully, found this in this forum. I want to give myself a year and see how I'll feel then. I'm not one who went to bars, hubby and I worked a lot, overtime, name it we accepted the extra hours. It meant that when we were home together, we really appreciated our time. Films' always a huge love, so weekend evenings were spent in front of the box and the emergence of the VHS Tapes. That was fun!
It's really the little things such as planning the weekly shop and the meals, discussing the daily news, wondering if and when the outside wall is going to be fixed. Going to bed at night, wishing that when you wake up tomorrow, the last 6 months were just a nightmare...
Doctors offering pills, I declined... I bought the best medicine money can buy, a new kitten! Taking care of him and receiving his love and purrs is therapy at its best. Below is our loving CoffeeBean. Blessed be!