Gray divorce???? Did it happen to you?

fuzzybuddy

fuzzybuddy

SF VIP
Location
The Sticks, Northeast PA.
I am at a point that it may end that way ..... not about the regular divorce things IMO.....
the set on of older age..... i was speaking to several neighbors some who have had a grey divorce or are living like me with a roommate not a spouse. Finances may keep people married to not cut the retirement egg in half .... but several i know are only "happy" for cameras or when the kids/ grand kids are around.

One person in the couple who wants to DO items travel / hobbies/ adventures before their health or mobility limits them........... and the other is seemingly happy to sit and wait for death or something.....still operating on the "someday" premise............. when the other person knows they won't do it unless they go alone.
 
Jeni said:
I am at a point that it may end that way ..... not about the regular divorce things IMO.....
the set on of older age..... i was speaking to several neighbors some who have had a grey divorce or are living like me with a roommate not a spouse. Finances may keep people married to not cut the retirement egg in half .... but several i know are only "happy" for cameras or when the kids/ grand kids are around.

One person in the couple who wants to DO items travel / hobbies/ adventures before their health or mobility limits them........... and the other is seemingly happy to sit and wait for death or something.....still operating on the "someday" premise............. when the other person knows they won't do it unless they go alone.
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That's us. I want home, he wants travel. But both of us value financial security. We will see this through!
 
An alternative:

Two of my elder cousins simply decided to live separately after decades of marriage, without the expense and hassle of a legal divorce. Their kids are grown and so are their grandkids, so none are stigmatized by a "broken home.*

One spouse kept the house, and the former SO bought another. The other couple sold their house and split the profit. She bought a smaller house, he moved in with a lady-friend (who will never benefit from his death).

None one is financially responsible for another person's credit, only things you have in both names, so they transferred those things to one person or the other. Of the things they were still paying on, Marie got the Altima, Jim got the truck; Marie got the new furniture, Jim got the boat, etc.
 
Murrmurr said:
An alternative:

Two of my elder cousins simply decided to live separately after decades of marriage, without the expense and hassle of a legal divorce. Their kids are grown and so are their grandkids, so none are stigmatized by a "broken home.*

One spouse kept the house, and the former SO bought another. The other couple sold their house and split the profit. She bought a smaller house, he moved in with a lady-friend (who will never benefit from his death).

None one is financially responsible for another person's credit, only things you have in both names, so they transferred those things to one person or the other. Of the things they were still paying on, Marie got the Altima, Jim got the truck; Marie got the new furniture, Jim got the boat, etc.
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I've joked that we should get a duplex and each have their own side. That would solve some problems. 😊
 
hearlady said:
It is hard when you're not on the same page. I have different ideas on how to spend retirement but unfortunately it comes down to whoever goes last can do what they want if they're still young enough to do it.
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I know couples like this. Example: I was at lunch one day with a co-worker who’s father had recently died and he was stunned how his mother wasn’t really mourning as much as planning cruises, trips etc. I remember he said, “it’s like a zoo animal just set free of its cage!”. Then the other co-worker with us said, yeah, her in-laws, same thing happened.
 
EmptyCup said:
I know couples like this. Example: I was at lunch one day with a co-worker who’s father had recently died and he was stunned how his mother wasn’t really mourning as much as planning cruises, trips etc. I remember he said, “it’s like a zoo animal just set free of its cage!”. Then the other co-worker with us said, yeah, her in-laws, same thing happened.
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Really. I don't want anything to happen. I love my husband. There are many good things in this marriage. If, God forbid, something were to happen I would mourn but then I would do some things that I could never get him to agree to.
If something happened to me I'm sure he'd do the same.
 
Sassycakes said:
Honestly after being married over 50 years I wouldn't give my hubby the satisfaction of getting a divorce so he could get a younger more attractive wife 😁 😁 😁 😁
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My wife of 50+ years is a 'red head' all the way through! If I tried to divorce her for a younger woman, I would not live to enjoy any of it! You have to sleep sometime...?

Thankfully, I still think she is 'hot'...and my best friend, I would never leave her...
 
hollydolly said:
Well.. as Chris De Burgh once wrote in a song.. ''if I think you are beautiful, Someone else is going to feel it too''


I'm sure if Sassy finds her husband attractive other women will as well...
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Oh dear, this thread has made me feel so turned on I have broken out into song as well.
Hey, baby
You go your way
And I'll go mine
But, in the meantime
When we're together
Touching each other
And our bodies
Do what we feel
When we're dancing
Smooching and swaying
Tender love songs
Softly playing
Move closer
Move your body real close
Until we
Feel like we're really making love
Ooh, ooh

But in real life, my sister left her husband who was twenty years her senior, the downside of the younger woman. Poor guy died of undiagnosed cancer a few weeks later on his own, and before he had changed his will or service pension, so she copped the lot.

Never, never trust a woman, co's you will be sorry if you do.........that is another song:D
 
EmptyCup said:
I know couples like this. Example: I was at lunch one day with a co-worker who’s father had recently died and he was stunned how his mother wasn’t really mourning as much as planning cruises, trips etc. I remember he said, “it’s like a zoo animal just set free of its cage!”. Then the other co-worker with us said, yeah, her in-laws, same thing happened.
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honestly there are so many where "death due us part " is not longer a vow..... but a goal...

so many as soon as spouse passes if they still have health and mobility ... Many hit the cruises or whatever same week as the funeral.......
If i did this my kids would not even bat an eye...... because they know how their dad is.
 
Jeni said:
honestly there are so many where "death due us part " is not longer a vow..... but a goal...

so many as soon as spouse passes if they still have health and mobility ... Many hit the cruises or whatever same week as the funeral.......
If i did this my kids would not even bat an eye...... because they know how their dad is.
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lol..sorry to be pedantic.. but it's ''Death DO us part ''... 🥰
 

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