Guilt

[PeppermintPatty]

Hi Submarine Pilot
Welcome to the forum.
Guilt is a very common but useless emotion.
It can sink us like others have suggested. Every time you feel it’s ugly presence , think about some times that you were hsppy about.
Knowing that it’s a common emotion to feel should help you..Most of us feel guilty about something or other. 40 years is a long time to be with someone. Try and celebrate your joys.
I’m sorry for your loss. Please feel free to join us in celebrating life.

 

[TeePee]

I feel for what you're going through. For what it's worth, feelings of guilt are common after such a loss. I was caregiver for my wife during her final days, and experienced it myself. We aren't perfect people, but as as long as we did the best we could, that's all we could do. In time, these feelings will pass.

I was caretaker of my husband for at least the last year and the half of his life. I didn't have too much guilt because I knew I did the best I could. He was totally dependent on me those years. The thing that upset me the most was when he would thank me for helping him. I would get teary eyed and still do thinking about it. I would tell him that he didn't need to thank me. I would tell him I did it out of love, not to be thanked. I know he appreciated me, but I didn't give it a second thought. That's what you do when you love someone.

 

[Marie5656]

Welcome. You are in a great place with many nice folks. Many of us have lost partners (mine 6 years ago) so we have been there. Feel free to chat. Lots of things to talk about here
By your user name, were you on a Sub? My brother was in the navy back in 60s, and actually re enlisted for a second 3 years so he cold be on a sub