Have you ever lied, not to hurt someone?

fuzzybuddy said:
For a time, I had a roommate. People kept throwing him out, and I got stuck with him. He is a good guy. He met this girl, a nurse, and they decided to marry. But he had an affair with another nurse, whose husband, a psychologist, was having an affair with another nurse. At the hospital, we had a staff meeting. All of the above were present, including me. I didn't say anything.
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I wouldn't have said anything either, but I'd have been grinning like lunatic through that whole meeting.
 

Tabby Ann said:
I watch people lie every day in stores where clerks ask invasive questions like How are you doing today? People are there to buy a product, not report on their condition to a clerk. This prying/lying ritual didn’t exist when I was growing up. Clerks were there to help you if asked, but to respecf your privacy otherwise. Regarding the man in the apartment, it’s a tough call. The other woman could be prone to violence toward the wife, or have a sexual disease, or simply be the impetus for the man to leave his family. In all these cases it would be good for the wife to be forwarned. I think the decision is up to the individual circumstance.
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I think you're misinterpreting a clerk asking a customer "How are you doing today."
When I worked in retail sales, my supervisor instructed me to ask customers how they were doing - to show that we care about them, even if we didn't. When I sometimes didn't ask them, he'd remind me. I'm not the type to pretend to care about someone, so after not asking a few more customers, he fired me; which was OK with me, since I had a better job lined up.
 

Sassycakes said:
I remembered something today about someone I never told the truth to. Years ago a neighbor of mine that I was friends with even though she was much older than me. I heard from a friend of mine that lived in an apartment that my neighbor's husband would use his apartment when my friend was working to take women there to have sex. She would make sure she looked perfect when he came home. I never told her what I knew. Would you ? They had 4 kids.
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If they had 4 little mouths to feed I would feel responsible if I told her and they got divorced as it would affect the children.

One time I lied to a co-worker because it was her birthday and I didn't wanna see her cry. Two of the ladies that were gonna join us to celebrate her birthday got mad at her at work the day before so they decided to just not show up. When she made a comment about it, I lied and told her they had wanted to come but their plans had gotten changed suddenly.
 
Sassycakes said:
I remembered something today about someone I never told the truth to. Years ago a neighbor of mine that I was friends with even though she was much older than me. I heard from a friend of mine that lived in an apartment that my neighbor's husband would use his apartment when my friend was working to take women there to have sex. She would make sure she looked perfect when he came home. I never told her what I knew. Would you ? They had 4 kids.
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I had a similar situation of knowing about a cheating husband. I didn’t interfere except to look him in the eye every time I saw him. Thankfully his wife finally caught him.
 
If someone was my friend & I was certain their spouse was cheating on them (as opposed to 2nd party gossip), I would tell them so they wouldn't be exposed to diseases; especially a potentially fatal disease like AIDS.
Anyone who didn't wouldn't be much of a friend.
 
Tabby Ann said:
I watch people lie every day in stores where clerks ask invasive questions like How are you doing today? People are there to buy a product, not report on their condition to a clerk. This prying/lying ritual didn’t exist when I was growing up. Clerks were there to help you if asked, but to respecf your privacy otherwise.
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Invasive to ask 'how are you?' Just say 'fine' or nothing at all. No big deal, is it?
 
Sassycakes said:
She would make sure she looked perfect when he came home.
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Based on this, I'm guessing she knew. But I wouldn't have told her either since it was second hand.

To answer the question: I have lied to avoid hurting someone's feelings. For one example, I have an aunt I dearly love who cannot cook but I I've always told her I enjoyed the meal which maybe isn't completely a lie since I enjoyed her company, just not the food. Lots of other similar instances.
 
win231 said:
If someone was my friend & I was certain their spouse was cheating on them (as opposed to 2nd party gossip), I would tell them so they wouldn't be exposed to diseases; especially a potentially fatal disease like AIDS.
Anyone who didn't wouldn't be much of a friend.
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I didn't have the heart to tell her. She was a good woman and a good wife I had no right to break her heart and ruin her marriage. If they divorced how would she survive with 4 children and a broken heart.
 
Tabby Ann said:
watch people lie every day in stores where clerks ask invasive questions like How are you doing today?
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That's not an invasive question that's a social greeting the only correct answer to which is, "Fine."
JaniceM said:
I'd think the humiliation would be much harder to take than if someone were to quietly give her the information.
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Isn't it a shame that we all expect women in this situation to feel humiliated when he is the one who has done something shameful and all she has done is trust someone she loves.

I wouldn't say anything to her, but if I caught him alone at the block picnic, I might tell him everybody was talking about what a cheating loser he was.
 
Sassycakes said:
I didn't have the heart to tell her. She was a good woman and a good wife I had no right to break her heart and ruin her marriage. If they divorced how would she survive with 4 children and a broken heart.
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I would be thinking, "What would her life be like if she ended up with a potentially-fatal disease because I didn't bother to warn her."
And what would you say when she asks you, "Why didn't you tell me?"
 
Della said:
That's not an invasive question that's a social greeting the only correct answer to which is, "Fine."

Isn't it a shame that we all expect women in this situation to feel humiliated when he is the one who has done something shameful and all she has done is trust someone she loves.

I wouldn't say anything to her, but if I caught him alone at the block picnic, I might tell him everybody was talking about what a cheating loser he was.
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Oh yes, I agree with you.. unfortunately, though, that's probably the way it usually happens.
 

"Have you ever lied, not to hurt someone?"​

Yes, I have.

Would I tell a friend that her husband was cheating on her? That depends. If I knew for certain that it was true and my friend directly asked me, I might. Then again, I might not. One question often leads to another.

"How long have you known?"
"When did you find out?"
"Why didn't you tell me right away?"
"Who is she?"

The next thing you know, it's your head that's on the chopping block.

Bella ✌️
 
Della said:
That's not an invasive question that's a social greeting the only correct answer to which is, "Fine."
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While the prying/lying ritual is common in stores today, historically there have not been questions from clerks requiring the customer to lie, nor people who think a lie is the only correct answer. The more common social greeting was “May I help you or let me know if you need any help”. Today however, the same clerks who ask how you’re doing, can’t answer questions about store products. Nor do they want to help. Once they say “How are you doing today” they are through with you.
 
To tell you the truth :whistle:.. I lied:eek: to a Phone solicitor:devilish: today....do you think I hurt his feelings? :ROFLMAO::LOL:
 
Phone solicitors probably wish I would lie to them.

Today I got a call from Express Scripts about one of my regular prescriptions. My insurance company forces me to use them. The recorded voice said they wanted to refill the drug but needed me to give permission to contact my doctor for a new prescription. After answering questions exactly the way Phone Voice wanted, it said, "I would like to connect you with a customer service representative. Okay?" I said "Okay." Silence. Then "I did not understand you please answer yes or no." So I said, what moron wrote your script with a definite prompt to say "Okay" if what it wanted was yes or no? Then I hung up. Omeprazole isn't that good for you anyway.
 
My mother told me of a dream she had. In it, my father was driving, she was in the passenger seat and I was in the back. She turned around and said to me: This is M-----. I've loved him since I was 17.5 years old.

This was 20 years after he died. In every dream she had of him during those years, he would never speak to her, and would run from her. This was the first dream that they were together. She asked me "Does this mean I'll die soon?" I LIED and said "no, he's just saying hello." She was dead within a month.

@Gaer
 
win231 said:
I think you're misinterpreting a clerk asking a customer "How are you doing today."
When I worked in retail sales, my supervisor instructed me to ask customers how they were doing - to show that we care about them, even if we didn't. When I sometimes didn't ask them, he'd remind me. I'm not the type to pretend to care about someone, so after not asking a few more customers, he fired me; which was OK with me, since I had a better job lined up.
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Very interesting perspective and I admire your self worth in not perpetuating such a useless and dishonest ritual. What exactly do you think I'm misinterpreting? I've always felt management should be responsible for this.
 
Pepper said:
Invasive to ask 'how are you?' Just say 'fine' or nothing at all. No big deal, is it?
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One would think it wouldn’t be a big deal to say nothing at all, but some clerks get downright hostile if you don’t report on the state of your health. During the height of the pandemic, with everybody masked up, the grocery put up clear plexiglass shields between the cashier and the check out line to minimize the amount of breath exchanged between the two. When the cashier started babbling about How are you doing today? I ignored her and she stuck her head clear around the shield and right in my face and spewed out “I said How are you today?”. When I said Why do you ask? She started babbling on about caring or something and was still babbling when I took my groceries and left.
 

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