How are you living with consequences of not planning for future?

Yea, I don't want anyone to say that I didn't give her any notice. I do still care what happens to her and to give her and me ample time to get things together. I have a lot to get rid of.
Don't believe I'll get any help with this because I've been told this is my Stuff, yes but physically it will be difficult to do.
 

I don't think you can speak for the WHOLE site? Most give helpful information, I'm not necessarily looking for help, just to vent sometimes. I know it's something I've got to handle myself.
 

Anxiety disorders are the most common of emotional disorders.


https://www.disabilitysecrets.com/medicine-medication-prescription-drugs-anxiety-disorder.html


Trying to offer help & understand your situation is what the good people of this forum have been trying to do. It might have been better if you began with something like " I need to vent"


I have never suffered from an anxiety disorder so I can't relate to your condition. I honestly had no clue what the most common cause was so I Googled for a definition. The opening sentence explains what I found.


Many if not most of your posts have described lack of caring on the part of your daughter. If it's common for emotion to cause the disorder is it possible that you could get emotional relief if you forced your daughter to leave now instead of the delay you are allowing?
 
My advice. Sell the house. Get the money. Invest it.

Move into an affordable apartment in case you lose your job and just keep working and saving money.

That's what I did.

And it's easier to keep working when you live in an apartment because there isn't half the chores that a house creates.

Did you enjoy your life so far? That's all that counts.
 
StarSong said:
Knight - I was thinking along the same lines, but my inclination was to suggest a mobile or RV park that has park models or used RVs for sale. AZ, NM and other areas in the southwest are loaded with these kinds of parks. Many charge inexpensive rent or purchase options. If your family is still in CA, Patnono, some of these places would be a mere car ride away.
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This is an incredibly good time of the year to find used RVs and the like in Arizona. The consignment lots are stuffed to the gills with RVs that retirees have given up on to return to the north to live with children, live in retirement homes, etc. They go "cheap".
 
Patnono, I'm confused. Maybe this has been answered elsewhere but I haven't seen it. Do you own the house or just rent the house?

If you do own the house and plan to move out, are you going to sell the house or just let your daughter and grandchildren remain? Do you own it outright or do you still have a mortgage?

If you rent the house, can you hold on until your lease is up and then move, letting your daughter arrange her own lease on the house?

Is this your daughter's house? If so, do you pay rent to her?
 
Thanks for writing, I rent on a month to month basis. My daughter could not afford to live here, she can't give me any help as it is. She only works PT, She is supposed to be going to school but is procrastinating because I think she's scared of stepping out of the box into a new career. She keeps making excuses, she's going to be 34 years old. Time is running out on her cuz I'm looking to move beginning of next year. I've had offers for renting a room, putting applications for senior housing, there's a waiting list on that so renting a room for now would be best.
 
Patnono said:
Thanks for writing, I agree that's why I'm going to do it, to save myself ☺️
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Parenting is never easy. Raising kids to be self thinking and independent and able to function in society is one way. Another is to provide for them to be dependent. Deciding which helps them best when we are no longer their support system is an individual choice.


Helping occasionally finacially with a no interest loan & written agreement to be paid back might sound harsh but when adult children take responsibility for themselves, they and society are the better for it.


It's not to late to save yourself and just maybe help your daughter to.
 
At every moment each of us has the option and the responsibility to choose anew the direction our lives will go.

Patnono, I wish you the strength and courage you'll need to extricate yourself from this difficult situation. Failing that, I wish you the ability to manage your finances and personal anguish should you choose to remain where you are.
 

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