How do you feel about Prenuptial agreements before marriage and why?

How do you feel about Prenuptial agreements before marriage and why? Where I live prenuptial agreements are not enforceable by law. When you marry the properties, are all combined into one. My Father, rest his soul married a well to do woman, about twenty-five years ago. They signed an agreement that in effect said, what yours is yours, what's mine is mine. Time went on all looked fine, then my dad caught the dementia, and forgot what the time was and who was who. The woman saw her lawyer to put him in a full care home, without her having to pay the bills. It did not work because the lawyer told her laws of the new times. Her total assets are, one thousand times, of what my fathers were. The lawyer told her, even if you divorce him, you will still need to pay the bills, because your assets are too great, for you to do so. My father passed on and things settled down. Then my father came back, to see me in a dream. For he did not remember, what happened after he caught dementia. I told him and feeling content he went on his way. -------- I apologize for the bold print, for I did not want to make it this way. I do not know how to undo what I did; no shouting was intended.​

 
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How do you feel about Prenuptial agreements before marriage and why?
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No real "feelings" about prenuptials, as it is a contract that may or may not be enforceable.

My take: don't marry someone if you're worried about sharing your material possessions, instead hire them as an employee that you could then have arrested for theft, if they take your possessions. Half kidding...kinda half not.
 

We don't have one so I don't know anything about prenups but Oklahoma has a 50/50 law......everything acquired prior to marriage by each person belongs to them and everything acquired while together, including things like 401K's, after the marriage gets split 50/50 when divorcing.

I know of two people that I used to work with that already owned their own homes when they got married and their spouse's moved in with them after they got married.......in each case when the two couples divorced the person that originally owned the home prior to marriage remained the sole owner of the home and everything else that was acquired while they were married was split down the middle.
 
I think this complicated subject is due to an example of "things that were correct and appropriate for their time, but not necessarily as correct and appropriate for the present day."

Specifically, I believe community-property laws and alimony were appropriate in the past, but rarely appropriate these days.

The reason: in the past, many/most women were housewives. If divorce occurred many years or decades into the marriage, they could be left with nothing because they'd put those years/decades into raising the children, taking care of the home, etc., instead of bringing in an income.
These days, though, many/most married women work outside the home, and in some cases have incomes higher than their husbands'. So in instances like that, I don't believe community-property laws and (now referred to as) spousal support are valid.

Plus, as others have mentioned, there are more older people marrying, and often have their own assets and their kids.
 
I’m assuming a prenup only relates to a divorce. If you both have considerable assets, and especially if those assets have been in a family for generations, I think a prenup can be warranted.

Regarding 2nd marriages - You may sincerely love and trust the person you are marrying but can you trust their grown children once your spouse has passed away. Better have an iron clad will.
 
I have no personal experience with this, but it seems to me that if a rich old geezer marries a "trophy wife," he would be wise to have her sign a prenup. For a young couple just starting out, with pretty much equal assets, I don't see the need.
 
ElCastor said:
As others have said, pre-nups are a measure of distrust. Date and/or live together for several years before getting married. As I believe Dr Laura recommends, don‘t marry before age 28. Good advice. These things you see in the movies or on TV where a couple meet and get married the next day — Yikes! No way!
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After I lived with my future wife for 2 years, then got married, then divorced after 2 years, I heard a psychiatrist talk about
shacking up to "get to know someone you're thinking about marrying." He said it doesn't work because while a couple is living together, they're sharing expenses & are able to live in a nicer place than each one could afford alone. Therefore, the couple will not do or say anything that would spoil that relationship - with all the advantages of marriage without a commitment; consequently, they won't "be themselves." They also know the door is always open for either one of them to walk out of. That changes with the commitment of marriage.

I'm not sure if that's true or not, but I do know other couples whose relationship lasted - until they got married, then it ended.
 
I think prenups are especially important when remarrying and also when kids are involved (inheritance). Better yet, as seniors it would be better to just shack up and keep legalities separate.

I recently read that Jeff Bezos and his ex-wife MacKenzie did not have a prenuptial when they got married in the 90s. At the time, he wasn't even a millionaire yet, let alone becoming the richest man in the world.

Fast forward to present, Mackenzie just filed for divorce after an 18 month marriage to a teacher. People are wondering if she got him to sign a prenuptial? Regardless, he might end up being the first teacher billionaire in such a short time.
 
win231 said:
After I lived with my future wife for 2 years, then got married, then divorced after 2 years, I heard a psychiatrist talk about
shacking up to "get to know someone you're thinking about marrying." He said it doesn't work because while a couple is living together, they're sharing expenses & are able to live in a nicer place than each one could afford alone. Therefore, the couple will not do or say anything that would spoil that relationship - with all the advantages of marriage without a commitment; consequently, they won't "be themselves." They also know the door is always open for either one of them to walk out of. That changes with the commitment of marriage.

I'm not sure if that's true or not, but I do know other couples whose relationship lasted - until they got married, then it ended.
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Yes, I read long ago (numerous sources) that living together first greatly increases the risk of divorce.
 
oldlongwalker said:
My "wife" and I thought about this. We decided it against it. Instead, we just didn't get married. We have been together 23 years. That explains the "s. I'm certainly not going to call her my girlfriend.
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That's why I call mine "The Spousal Equivalent". "Boyfriend" just doesn't do it after 13 years of living together and "fiancee" implies we're going to get married one of these days, which we aren't.

No prenup needed. What's his is his, what's mine is mine and what's ours will go with the last one alive.
 
I only had a prenup for my third marriage. I wouldn’t have married without one. I had assets and he didn’t. We each had kids. We had lived together happily for 6 years.
Although he assured me that in a divorce he would not try to cheat me that’s exactly what he tried to do when I divorced him for serial cheating 17 years later. Because of the prenup I was able to subtract my original assets off the top.

Because I managed the money and was good at it he left the marriage better than he came in. When he wanted to disregard the prenup I told him that I would get a lawyer and give every dime of my original assets to the lawyer before I would split with him. We then hired a paralegal for 500 to split everything after subtracting what I came into the marriage with.

He really wanted to get married and I would have been fine with just living together. I trusted my second husband and he majorly cheated me by hiding most of our assets. When we married we both had nothing. I wasn’t going to be cheated again.,
 
LadyEmeraude said:
How do you feel about Prenuptial agreements before marriage and why?
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A marriage is a kind of contract, a prenup nothing more than adding clauses and conditions to that contract. I see nothing wrong with that on the face of it.

Obviously it has to be considered case by case. And I am sure there are some things that cannot be done in an prenup, depending on local law.

The most obvious reason for one has come up here several times, addressing the problem of inheritance and kids from a previous marriage. That can make a lot of sense.

I think people worry that one party may be taken advantage of this way, and I sure that happens, but like much of life its up to the parties involved to protect themselves and each other.

I have none, and have never considered one. But that's just me.
 
I actually think it's more important in later years. There is not time to rebuild a nest egg that was taken by someone you felt you could trust completely.
I wouldn't remarry but if someone wants to it's just prudent to protect both parties.
 
Alligatorob said:
Having a girlfriend or boyfriend sign an NDA should be an early warning of trouble... a kind of a prenup prenup?
Tiger Woods' ex-girlfriend sues to challenge NDA
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-64897829
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Everything surrounding marriage these days leads you to become very cynical about the whole business doesn't it, (at least we've wised up to the existentialist John Paul Sartre's views on "love" on the forum recently! :) ).
 
Arizona is a community property state. A house bought and paid for before a marriage is NOT community property. However escalations of equity might be . However, from what I have recently seen in estate settling a clear view of who owns what and how it is to be dispursed after a spousal death is a must in my book. I have been with my partner for twenty plus years. We are not married…but talk about it once in awhile. My latent fear is that my assets would be assumed to be part of his and taken away from my heir because I could not of possibly accrued what I have without his help. This is not thecase and has kept me from marrying him for years.
 

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