How do you pay back a lifetime of kindnesses you've received?

StarSong

StarSong

Awkward is my Superpower
Location
Los Angeles Suburbs
Since most of us are in our senior years it seems reasonable that we've been at the receiving end of many unexpected kindnesses and unearned generosities along life's way.

I'd love to hear how some SF members repay those good will moments and gestures, particularly when it's not possible to repay directly to the person who extended the effort your way. Maybe we can learn some goodness from each other.

I try to remember to be a kind driver, letting other cars go in front of me. I've occasionally paid for people's groceries, gave away plenty of product during the time when we owned a school uniform company, and am extremely patient and supportive toward people whose children are throwing public tantrums or otherwise behaving in a way that mortifies the parent. (I remember those days all too well.)

What do you do?
 

I do a lot of things like you do StarSong, considerate driver, help others when needed, and sometimes have got a little one to quiet down and smile when they were acting up. A woman and her husband were in Walmart the other day and their young baby in the seat was screaming his head off. The husband looked angry and the wife was trying to get him to quiet down. I didn't interfere, just smiled at her knowing sometimes you just can't control them. She seemed to give a small smile back and I'm thinking she felt a bit better, don't know.

A couple of days ago a woman older than me was struggling to try and lift a flower pot arrangement from the ground outside a supermarket, I asked if she wanted me to get it for her, it wasn't too heavy for me to put in her cart but if it was I'd get help. A fella was searching the frozen vegetables on another day and started voicing his disappointment that he couldn't find something, I searched with him and found what he needed.

Often I help people, especially older ones, reach for things on higher shelves or locate something. Lots of times just the way I'm dressed and act, shoppers think I work in the store and ask me questions. I tell them I don't work there, but try to be of assistance to them.

I give to the needy when possible, donate things to charity and support organizations occasionally that help with disasters, or rape victims, etc.
 
I don't drive,being independent I try to go places either by walking or taking the bus
There have been situations when neither of those alternatives are good,so that's when I'll ask a friend if she/he can take me when its convient for them.I always profusely thank them
There is no way I can repay their kindness,so what I usually do is buy them a gift certificate at local dining establishment
They always say'this was so unnecessary since you do so many kind things for others'. I feel better doing it Sue
 

Bought school clothes for the children of a struggling family
Took toddlers for a weekend because I felt their mom needed a break
Paid electric bill for someone facing shutoff
Cleaned house & ran errands for someone recuperating from surgery
Listened for many hours after someone went thru a bad breakup
(Along with several others) chipped in when someone needed airfare to attend funeral
 
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I do things like practice patience with people who are taking a real long time in the check out. I know if I am fumbling for my money through my purse it takes awhile and I recall how upset others seem to get. I mean really what's a minute or two out of their time. There is so much impatience in stores and on the road and so I try to keep practicing patience hoping it will catch on. Once in awhile I donate to charitable organizations even though I don't have a lot of $. I feel so bad for those in greater need. I often listen to people who are having a hard time or a bad day so they know someone cares when they have no one.
 
I've done and will continue to do many of the things that others have mentioned.

I try not to gripe and complain to others, offer them a kind word, listen, etc...

I try to remember one thing that GaryO' mentioned in another thread and that is to offer a compliment to others and watch them start to fill with a little pride and appreciation over being noticed.

The hard part for me is to remember to offer these small kindnesses when I'm caught up in my own thoughts and activities.

I need to practice being mindful and living in the moment.

I try to save my poison apples for the internet!
 
Such great acts of kindness... I knew this group was kind and thoughtful.

Moving to the other side of this for a moment: Yesterday my husband and I bought a toilet at Costco. A few days earlier he'd pulled a muscle in one of his legs and was struggling to lift the box into his truck (I was holding the cart steady). Suddenly this car pulled up and a man of perhaps 30 leaned out of the passenger window and said, "Can I help you with that?"

My husband started to say no (you know guys and their pride), but I immediately said, "Oh, that would be great!" and gave hubby a look.

The young man jumped out of the car and within 15 seconds the toilet was loaded up.

My husband was ultimately grateful that I'd asked for help. I pointed out that not only did we get help, the guy felt good about doing something nice and the woman who was driving (appeared to be his mother) had a big smile on her face - obviously she was proud of this young man for helping us out.

Win, win, win.
 
StarSong said:
Such great acts of kindness... I knew this group was kind and thoughtful.

Moving to the other side of this for a moment: Yesterday my husband and I bought a toilet at Costco. A few days earlier he'd pulled a muscle in one of his legs and was struggling to lift the box into his truck (I was holding the cart steady). Suddenly this car pulled up and a man of perhaps 30 leaned out of the passenger window and said, "Can I help you with that?"

My husband started to say no (you know guys and their pride), but I immediately said, "Oh, that would be great!" and gave hubby a look.

The young man jumped out of the car and within 15 seconds the toilet was loaded up.

My husband was ultimately grateful that I'd asked for help. I pointed out that not only did we get help, the guy felt good about doing something nice and the woman who was driving (appeared to be his mother) had a big smile on her face - obviously she was proud of this young man for helping us out.

Win, win, win.
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It's contagious! :)
 
It is important to me to pay it forward where I can. A close friend of mine is an RN at our local hospital. Recently, he was telling me heartbreaking stories of people dying alone and afraid. Now, from time to time, when I get a call from the hospital, I am able to go and sit with a patient in need, sometimes more than once. Sometimes they die while I am there, sometimes I hold their hand and sing softly until they slip away, most are elderly, but not all. One was a twenty five year old young man. It is emotional to be with people in this situation, but also humbling.
 
I feel a bit humble reading the wonderful words you lovely people have written.
My contribution to the world is quite small, but I do try to help those in need.
My Mum (with pinny on and headscarf tied with a knot in the front) used to sing and dance while listening to the radio in those lean years after WW2, she would stand at the table in the kitchen ironing clothes, and I would listen while she mimicked Vera Lynn singing 'We'll meet again'.
The music from those years have remained special to me, so I try to keep it alive by posting it on another thread, perhaps for others to enjoy too. :)
 
Everywhere I go I compliment people unexpectedly and it appears to make their day. They suddenly smile very brightly and look proud to be themselves. It doesn’t take much effort to brighten up someone’s day.

Since I enjoy baking so much I often make goodies for neighbours and people not expecting gifts like our mail people, garbage pick up people, medical staff or pharmacists etc., It’s a nice feeling offering something sweet and homemade to people not expecting anything. Their eyes light up.

Instead of having garage sales to sell off things no longer needed, I give them to goodwill or other charities. ❤️

As far as helping screaming kids in grocery stores?
Hahaha! No! I’m sorry but that’s not my department. Besides I have a husband who could almost cry when he hears kids screaming. Seriously. We HAVE to leave and FAST. He’s got not patience for them. 🤭😂

Gifts. I love being creative. I paint, woodwork, wood-carve, wood-burn and turn wood. Most often I give my work away.

That’s it for kindness. Otherwise I’m not all that nice. 🤫😎
 
I do Variants of all of the above...

I'm not a kiddie fan and my husband even less.. but a small example....

In Spain last week, there was a mum trying to take a picture of her toddler sitting on the bench with dad. Toddler was having none of it, wriggling, fighting screaming... . Dad was very patient trying to get him to stop so the photo could get taken, to no avail.. so I walked up and stood behind the crouched mum...(who hadn't seen me).. and started waving and making funny faces at the child ..and instantly the child stopped wriggling, and startied to point and laugh and mum got several really nice pics. She turned and saw me and both parents thanked me profusely
 
I always give to Panhandlers, unless they are aggressive then I point out that McDonalds is hiring. Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts (the exception is if they are at an intersection with a can and I tell them to go mow a yard and earn it) I have found that most youth organizations keep records and come back every year to your home. Sometimes if I see them in advance at an intersection, I turn on another street because I don't like to say no. I tried this on a police road block (Checking for Drunk Drivers) they came after me and pulled me over and gave me a breathalyzer test, I barely passed and was given a warming ticket for an illegal turn, I didn't argue. We were returning from a golf tournament.
 
mike4lorie said:
Exactly what I try to do at least once a day, a lot of times when we go through a coffee drive-thru, I tell the cashier when I get to the window, I will pay for the car/truck behind me... Feels good when we do that also...
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Mike, your kind acts remind me of when I was a child living in NY. If there happened to be a car with out-of-state license plates behind us as we went through a bridge toll, my parents would pay their toll and ask the toll booth operator to tell the people to enjoy their visit to our state.

We'd pull up, wait, and watch through the rear view mirror as the operator would tell the people. When they realized what my folks had done they'd react with surprised delight, waving, smiling, and mouthing "thank you!"

It was probably only a quarter or fifty cents back then, but it impressed me as such a cool thing to do.
 
StarSong said:
Mike, your kind acts remind me of when I was a child living in NY. If there happened to be a car with out-of-state license plates behind us as we went through a bridge toll, my parents would pay their toll and ask the toll booth operator to tell the people to enjoy their visit to our state.

We'd pull up, wait, and watch through the rear view mirror as the operator would tell the people. When they realized what my folks had done they'd react with surprised delight, waving, smiling, and mouthing "thank you!"

It was probably only a quarter or fifty cents back then, but it impressed me as such a cool thing to do.
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I love that...fantastic, that's really made me smile!!! :giggle:
 

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