How does a person live alone and not get lonely?

The way to not be lonely is to have friends you connect with, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. These friends must have something in common with you, but not everything since that would be boring. The friends I have who are like that live mostly in the South. I don't, because I went where my husband wanted to work.

I have friends here, but they are not the kind of friends I referenced above. I'm not particularly lonely, but I do miss having those friends present in my life. Phone calls are not enough.
 
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How does a person live alone and not get lonely?​


Don't know
No real opinion or advice.....never been
No experience
I may have too much melatonin coursing thru my veins

It may come, if my lady passes before me
But
Missing someone may not equate to loneliness (?)

Actually, I'd like to experience a bit of loneliness....just to know.....relate
 
Gary O' said:

How does a person live alone and not get lonely?​


Don't know
No real opinion or advice.....never been
No experience
I may have too much melatonin coursing thru my veins

It may come, if my lady passes before me
But
Missing someone may not equate to loneliness (?)

Actually, I'd like to experience a bit of loneliness....just to know.....relate
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"Actually, I'd like to experience a bit of loneliness....just to know.....relate". No, you wouldn't; trust me.
 
officerripley said:
No, you wouldn't; trust me.
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I don't know enough to argue that.
I have been on the flip side, however (claustrophobic)
Too many folks like to come over and talk.......while I'm in the middle of a project, seems.
When I'm butchering wood, I have to have my mind on what I'm cutting.
And that's bad enough.
No room in what's left of the inner workings of my skull for chit chat during those times.
 
Bretrick said:
So

So true. Very little one to one contact. Never loved.
How can I miss what I have never experienced?
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please do not think me presumptious or anything, but how can one live without love? It is true one might not miss what one does not have, but love is the very basic of human survival. I find this so unique.
I wish for you that someday you experience love
 
Shero said:
please do not think me presumptious or anything, but how can one live without love? It is true one might not miss what one does not have, but love is the very basic of human survival. I find this so unique.
I wish for you that someday you experience love
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Up to age 39 I was a serious drunk so women never wanted to look at me nor was I interested in anything but booze.
Once I came out of my drunken stupor I was very wary of women. Did not trust them.
Had seen too often the tales of woe from my peers whom got married early and most ended up miserable, including my brother.
I knew a few women who confided with me when we were on the booze and they told me of their plans to leave their husband and started squirreling away money to make the break.
Sure, this is not typical of marriage but I had seen enough to know that I wanted nothing of it.
The best thing to happen to me because of those alcoholic years was I never done the "Done Thing" and got married and had children.
This is purely my experience and most? couples do not go through this.
I feel I have not missed out because as has been mentioned, You do not miss what you have never had.
My time is spent doing what I get the most pleasure with. Being out in the bush with nature. Having someone by my side would detract from that experience.
 
Bretrick said:
Up to age 39 I was a serious drunk so women never wanted to look at me nor was I interested in anything but booze.
Once I came out of my drunken stupor I was very wary of women. Did not trust them.
Had seen too often the tales of woe from my peers whom got married early and most ended up miserable, including my brother.
I knew a few women who confided with me when we were on the booze and they told me of their plans to leave their husband and started squirreling away money to make the break.
Sure, this is not typical of marriage but I had seen enough to know that I wanted nothing of it.
The best thing to happen to me because of those alcoholic years was I never done the "Done Thing" and got married and had children.
This is purely my experience and most? couples do not go through this.
I feel I have not missed out because as has been mentioned, You do not miss what you have never had.
My time is spent doing what I get the most pleasure with. Being out in the bush with nature. Having someone by my side would detract from that experience.
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Thank you for explaining, now I see a lot more clearly. I do understand how much you enjoy doing the things you mention and I hope you may be able to get back to doing them as soon as your foot is well again :)
 
oldiebutgoody said:
Trust me when I tell you that nobody, and I mean NOBODY, could be as F_______ up as that POS I was referring to. When you say your prayers at night, say a few words of gratitude that you never crossed paths with that bassturd.
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Hmm, I have had the same phone number for 40 years. My brother has, for forty years, claimed he cannot call me because he does not have my phone number. He and his wife have cell phones. I’ve given him my phone number a million times to write in their phone book cause every time I call they claim they do not have it. My mother, who is 95, has given them my phone number a million times. They think this is funny.

This is just a small irritation.

When we were younger and our 3 day old son died we borrowed 500 dollars from my brother and his wife (who was/is wealthy) for the burial. (Husband was still in the marine corps at this time.). We paid the 500 back that same year. My brother asked for the interest on the five hundred.

Our brothers might be tied as super jerks, but I don’t know your brother so I cannot say. @oldiebutgoody
 
Aneeda72 said:
Hmm, I have had the same phone number for 40 years. My brother has, for forty years, claimed he cannot call me because he does not have my phone number. He and his wife have cell phones. I’ve given him my phone number a million times to write in their phone book cause every time I call they claim they do not have it. My mother, who is 95, has given them my phone number a million times. They think this is funny.

This is just a small irritation.

When we were younger and our 3 day old son died we borrowed 500 dollars from my brother and his wife (who was/is wealthy) for the burial. (Husband was still in the marine corps at this time.). We paid the 500 back that same year. My brother asked for the interest on the five hundred.

Our brothers might be tied as super jerks, but I don’t know your brother so I cannot say. @oldiebutgoody
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Sorry you lost your 3 day old son! That must have been heartbreaking! May his memory be eternal.
 
I have been thinking about this question trying to figure out why I do not get lonely. I can't figure it out really. But when I go places with anyone (even my bf) I just cannot wait till it is time to go home. Or if someone is here I am never one to try to get them to stay longer. As soon as I am home alone, I breathe a sigh of relief.

I think I remember my grandmother being that way. She would take her house keys out of her purse twenty miles from home! I do that sometimes. Maybe not twenty miles but at least five.
 
katlupe said:
I have been thinking about this question trying to figure out why I do not get lonely. I can't figure it out really. But when I go places with anyone (even my bf) I just cannot wait till it is time to go home. Or if someone is here I am never one to try to get them to stay longer. As soon as I am home alone, I breathe a sigh of relief.

I think I remember my grandmother being that way. She would take her house keys out of her purse twenty miles from home! I do that sometimes. Maybe not twenty miles but at least five.
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I love to roam and have adventure, but most of all I love to get back home. I understand how you feel!
 
katlupe said:
I have been thinking about this question trying to figure out why I do not get lonely. I can't figure it out really. But when I go places with anyone (even my bf) I just cannot wait till it is time to go home. Or if someone is here I am never one to try to get them to stay longer. As soon as I am home alone, I breathe a sigh of relief.

I think I remember my grandmother being that way. She would take her house keys out of her purse twenty miles from home! I do that sometimes. Maybe not twenty miles but at least five.
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I can relate to this.
Many times I can not wait to leave wherever I am with other people so I can be with myself again. Truly only at peace when I am alone.
 
katlupe said:
I have been thinking about this question trying to figure out why I do not get lonely. I can't figure it out really. But when I go places with anyone (even my bf) I just cannot wait till it is time to go home. Or if someone is here I am never one to try to get them to stay longer. As soon as I am home alone, I breathe a sigh of relief.

I think I remember my grandmother being that way. She would take her house keys out of her purse twenty miles from home! I do that sometimes. Maybe not twenty miles but at least five.
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Yes....I feel exactly the same....I can remember my mother was the same also. ...to me its a sense of comfort.
 
Shero said:
I love to roam and have adventure, but most of all I love to get back home. I understand how you feel!
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We have a VERY COMMON expression in Sweden, "Bort är bra men hemma är bäst" which literally translated means "Away is good but home is best". I've thought about this a lot and I have my own theory about it. The great thing about travel is that if you remain abroad long enough you begin to miss home, and that ought to be the whole reason for going in the first place. "I need a change!" "This daily routine is boring!" "I must get away!" So, you eventually get homesick and look forward to returning. Mission accomplished! :)
 
mellowyellow said:
I think loneliness is the saddest, most destructive emotion and believe our culture is largely responsible. Look around at different cultures, they have large extended families and are rarely ever alone. We don’t. They don’t pack their oldies off into nursing homes. We do. I envy those who have never felt lonely, you’re very lucky IMO.
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Our culture is so achievement oriented and often so me-me-me oriented that we all end up going our different directions. In the family in which I grew up we were pitted against each other so today, decades later, it takes a real effort to get past that original family dynamic and be close. This morning I was thinking of a friend I went to college with - she has two children and each of them has 3 children. They have the closest family I have ever known, spending most of the year together. I'm envious, and I'm usually envious of no one. I'm generally not lonely (my overly talkative sister lives with me and I'm an introvert who learned long ago to be happy with my own company) but when holidays come around and my friend posts pictures on FB of their large family gatherings, it hits hard that this is what I wanted and don't have.
 
Flaneuse said:
Our culture is so achievement oriented and often so me-me-me oriented that we all end up going our different directions. In the family in which I grew up we were pitted against each other so today, decades later, it takes a real effort to get past that original family dynamic and be close. This morning I was thinking of a friend I went to college with - she has two children and each of them has 3 children. They have the closest family I have ever known, spending most of the year together. I'm envious, and I'm usually envious of no one. I'm generally not lonely (my overly talkative sister lives with me and I'm an introvert who learned long ago to be happy with my own company) but when holidays come around and my friend posts pictures on FB of their large family gatherings, it hits hard that this is what I wanted and don't have.
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So true, especially the "we all end up going our different directions"; reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

"It’s always like this. The world just goes on, and everybody’s so busy, doing things together, and I’m always the one that’s alone on the outside, wondering about it. I can’t ever get in, and I can’t do anything to get included."
~~from Blood Money by Thomas Perry
 
Verisure said:
There's good Capitalism and bad Capitalism. I assume that you live in the US?
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Yes. And getting quite tired of it. The country has changed so much from when I was a kid. I'd go back in time if I could, even if it meant giving up computers and smartphones. Anxious to move to Europe but I have a senior dog (one of 3) who for health reasons cannot travel so I am here for the remainder of her life. And that's okay - she's really more important to me than anything else.
 

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