hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
fabulous, and you did it alone.. hats off sista....
How is your day Today, plans and achievements 2024....
- Thread starter hollydolly
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hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
I think there must have been something in the air, or the angle of the moon last night, because I too had horrendous dreams...
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
Well ..I have good news which is also scary news...
My husband has been dragging his heels over this ongoing divorce....In the Uk if you can hide you assets for a year before going to court to declare your income , you then don't have to declare the assets or any other income except a basic one....and then the Court can only take into consideration the financial statements that you show for the previous period..My soon2bex.. has been trying to stretch this period out, so it looks as tho' he has much fewer assets than he really has..
Despite several emails to his lawyer asking about the viewing of his financial details.. they have consistently ignored me and my lawyer for several months..
yesterday I put them on notice that I would take further steps and go directly to court, and declare their deliberate actions to hide assets.. and altho' this would be expensive for me, I was willing to do it... Well surprise surprise, I got an email from his lawyer this afternoon... asking me not make any application before next week, and she will ensure his Financial details will be available to view ( we exchange financial details) by early next week.
I still feel they're up to some shenanigans... but I'm waiting now for a call from my own lawyer to advise me further.. however if this all goes to plan.. then the scary part is.. the Divorce is on for before the end of summer.. and I i'll have no idea how my finances and future will look.. that'll give me nightmares for the next few months ..I tell you..
My husband has been dragging his heels over this ongoing divorce....In the Uk if you can hide you assets for a year before going to court to declare your income , you then don't have to declare the assets or any other income except a basic one....and then the Court can only take into consideration the financial statements that you show for the previous period..My soon2bex.. has been trying to stretch this period out, so it looks as tho' he has much fewer assets than he really has..
Despite several emails to his lawyer asking about the viewing of his financial details.. they have consistently ignored me and my lawyer for several months..
yesterday I put them on notice that I would take further steps and go directly to court, and declare their deliberate actions to hide assets.. and altho' this would be expensive for me, I was willing to do it... Well surprise surprise, I got an email from his lawyer this afternoon... asking me not make any application before next week, and she will ensure his Financial details will be available to view ( we exchange financial details) by early next week.
I still feel they're up to some shenanigans... but I'm waiting now for a call from my own lawyer to advise me further.. however if this all goes to plan.. then the scary part is.. the Divorce is on for before the end of summer.. and I i'll have no idea how my finances and future will look.. that'll give me nightmares for the next few months ..I tell you..
hearlady
Basic Member
- Location
- N Carolina
We got a new backdoor installed today. We really needed it. It had a crack at the bottom from weather etc. and I had put white duct tape over it. (Yes, I did that.)
The dead bolt didn't work either and you had to make sure you pushed it closed good or the regular lock wouldn't catch.
Yes, we SO needed a new door!
The dead bolt didn't work either and you had to make sure you pushed it closed good or the regular lock wouldn't catch.
Yes, we SO needed a new door!
hearlady
Basic Member
- Location
- N Carolina
Let's hope all works out in your favor. I have a hard time seeing how the court wouldn't protect you. I hope I'm not naive but I just don't see it.
Jules
SF VIP
That is the most unfair rule I’ve heard of and it would only help the richer person. Good for you for putting the screws to him.
I worked in Family Court representing those who were screwed by the undeclared assets of the non-custodial spouse (98% males). The expense & trouble these guys used to hide their assets was unbelievable & cruel. Of course, we're talking kids here; but there is no length to how low someone stoops. Sometimes even spending thousands on a lawyer to save hundreds that would go to ex. It's SPITE, many times. Pitiful.Let's hope all works out in your favor. I have a hard time seeing how the court wouldn't protect you. I hope I'm not naive but I just don't see it.
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
the reason the courts don't protect people like they once did is because of the recent change in the law where ''no fault divorces'' have become the norm regardless of whose fault it is... and therefore unlike in the past where we stood in front of a judge and he could hear the stories of both parties.. today that doesn't happen ( unless in serious abuse cases).. and we don't attend court.. and papers are just rubber stamped, so this is why it's so important that he doesn't get away with declaring much less of his assets..Once the courts decision is made, and it's then discovered he's hidden assets it would cost fortunes to take him back to courtLet's hope all works out in your favor. I have a hard time seeing how the court wouldn't protect you. I hope I'm not naive but I just don't see it.
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packleader
Member
- Location
- Southern California
I love where we are living. It feels like being in the boondocks yet a supermarket in in walking distance, and two shopping malls are less than ten miles away.
My first wife and I split as friends. After our divorce, we spent two months in Europe, but it was in vain. We both had just finished our studies for higher degrees, and the jobs we got were too far apart.
With my second wife, I wanted to be sure she would like the place where we would live. So, I showed her several places that were all right with her. Then I saw a two line ad in the newspaper, and we went to see it. It was a jungle, and I lost sight of her. When I finally found her again, she was sitting on a rock and day dreaming, "if there were a pond with some duckies..."
I immediately made a call to buy the parcel. Within two years, my wife also had a pond with Mallards. Regrettably, crayfish kept draining the pond till I gave up. But by that time, we have fallen in love with the place anyway. We completely changed the landscape and after some fifty years, trees have grown up and you wouldn't recognize the place as we had bought it. It was a lifetime of work dedicated to the place we call "home." But when I couldn't handle the work anymore, I divided the parcel into four lots and have given three of them to my children in the meantime.
Our side entrance, with the gate not visible on the picture. --- The location where the pond used to be.
Home sweet home. The house is actually too small for us.
View of our neighbor's parcel................................................... This mess is officially dedicated as an "avenue" (in 100 years?)
My first wife and I split as friends. After our divorce, we spent two months in Europe, but it was in vain. We both had just finished our studies for higher degrees, and the jobs we got were too far apart.
With my second wife, I wanted to be sure she would like the place where we would live. So, I showed her several places that were all right with her. Then I saw a two line ad in the newspaper, and we went to see it. It was a jungle, and I lost sight of her. When I finally found her again, she was sitting on a rock and day dreaming, "if there were a pond with some duckies..."
I immediately made a call to buy the parcel. Within two years, my wife also had a pond with Mallards. Regrettably, crayfish kept draining the pond till I gave up. But by that time, we have fallen in love with the place anyway. We completely changed the landscape and after some fifty years, trees have grown up and you wouldn't recognize the place as we had bought it. It was a lifetime of work dedicated to the place we call "home." But when I couldn't handle the work anymore, I divided the parcel into four lots and have given three of them to my children in the meantime.
Our side entrance, with the gate not visible on the picture. --- The location where the pond used to be.
Home sweet home. The house is actually too small for us.
View of our neighbor's parcel................................................... This mess is officially dedicated as an "avenue" (in 100 years?)
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hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
you're absolutely correct...afaik.. he has spent £14k on his lawyer...
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
yes it is horrendous, and for people who can't afford a lawyer, it's even worse.
Did you also know that despite being the person who was cheated on.. and beaten etc.. and being the respondent.. I still had to find £10K.. for a lawyer to defend my case to ensure I don't walk away with nothing...
This is grossly unfair.. I did nothing wrong.. but if I couldn't have found this money to pay.. then he being the petitioner would have been able to walk away without paying me a penny because I couldn't afford to contest it...
Yes, yes, I've said this before, but it never gets old. Your ex sucks @hollydolly
MrPants
Senior Member
In Canada at least, hiding assets in a divorce proceeding is not only illegal but highly discouraged by the legal community. If one party is found to be hiding assets or improperly declaring income, there can be heavy financial penalties & sanctions against that person plus the courts will often adjust the division of assets in favour of the other party. People still try to do it but they're never happy when they get caught!
Georgiagranny
Well-known Member
And that's as it should be!
I'm thinking positive thoughts for you @hollydolly. I hope your soon-to-be-ex gets warts and ugly toenail fungus.
I'm in for the day and before it got hot. Yay me. I even mowed the lawn. Yay again.
There was a recipe online the other day for food using grape jelly and the juice of half an orange (along with the usual water and sugar, of course) for goldfinches and tanagers. I made some and hung the feeder under the magnolia. Waiting for the birds to show up.
Some things got planted. Some things were transplanted. Some weeds no longer live. Some daffodil bulbs have been dug up and planted in another spot. But now, sadly, there are "bare" spots that want to be filled in. There's still the money I "gifted" myself for the garden, but I'm getting tighter than bark on a tree and want plants and flowers, but don't want to spend my gift.
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
In the Uk it's illegal to hide assets, but of course it has to be proven they have been hidden. OTOH... if they can hide bank accounts and income and property for a year so it doesn't show up on any accounts for the previous 12 months then that's legal, and the courts hands are tied. They can only take into consideration the last 12 months.. of accounts.
Given that my O/H and I have now been separated almost 3 years.. he's had plenty of time to do this... he obviously made the application for divorce which he did in Jan of this year..after he'd hidden much of his income and assets.. and is continuing to do so IMO.. even now..
Murrmurr
SF VIP
- Location
- Sacramento, California
I'm kind of excited today for 2 reasons:
I feed stray and feral cats in my backyard and this new one showed up about 2 weeks ago; basically a kitten not more than 3 months old, 4 at the most. She was scruffy looking, dehydrated, generally unhealthy, and she's an ugly little thing. She started looking pretty good after eating like a freaking horse for a week, but she also started looking pregnant.
She is definitely pregnant. And she's just a kitten, really. Still kind of ugly, but some Tom out there somewhere didn't mind it.
So anyway, I started looking around for a cat trap so I could take her to get spayed, dewormed, and vaccinated and all that, and I found this whole group of cat-trappers who not only trap feral cats, they take them to a clinic to get all that stuff done.
So, 1), a lady is coming this afternoon to trap "Scribbles" (named because it looks like someone scribbled all over her orange face with a black marker), take her to a vet, and then bring her back here. I'll keep her inside for 3 days while she recuperates from an abortion and spay, and then she can go back outside. ...maybe. Depends on how Pixel takes it (my indoor cat). If he's okay with her being kind of ugly and scrappy as hell, she'll stay inside with us.
And, 2) one of you sent Bonnie a small package and a card...and it made her day. Thank you for that.
Bonnie was in the hospital getting the last of 5 radiation treatments, and she'll start chemo therapy on Friday. She had to stay in hosp for all 5 rad treatments, and she'll drive to and from for the chemo. She's super grateful to be getting treatment, finally!, but she was not having a pleasant time of it, as you can imagine.
And then her son took that package in to her. She called me right away, all excited. She kept saying "How did they know? I mean, these are so ME! How did they know?"
She loves them.
I feed stray and feral cats in my backyard and this new one showed up about 2 weeks ago; basically a kitten not more than 3 months old, 4 at the most. She was scruffy looking, dehydrated, generally unhealthy, and she's an ugly little thing. She started looking pretty good after eating like a freaking horse for a week, but she also started looking pregnant.
She is definitely pregnant. And she's just a kitten, really. Still kind of ugly, but some Tom out there somewhere didn't mind it.
So anyway, I started looking around for a cat trap so I could take her to get spayed, dewormed, and vaccinated and all that, and I found this whole group of cat-trappers who not only trap feral cats, they take them to a clinic to get all that stuff done.
So, 1), a lady is coming this afternoon to trap "Scribbles" (named because it looks like someone scribbled all over her orange face with a black marker), take her to a vet, and then bring her back here. I'll keep her inside for 3 days while she recuperates from an abortion and spay, and then she can go back outside. ...maybe. Depends on how Pixel takes it (my indoor cat). If he's okay with her being kind of ugly and scrappy as hell, she'll stay inside with us.
And, 2) one of you sent Bonnie a small package and a card...and it made her day. Thank you for that.
Bonnie was in the hospital getting the last of 5 radiation treatments, and she'll start chemo therapy on Friday. She had to stay in hosp for all 5 rad treatments, and she'll drive to and from for the chemo. She's super grateful to be getting treatment, finally!, but she was not having a pleasant time of it, as you can imagine.
And then her son took that package in to her. She called me right away, all excited. She kept saying "How did they know? I mean, these are so ME! How did they know?"
She loves them.
@hollydolly Is there any recourse if the financial documents that will finally be provided to you are inaccurate? I'd be very tempted to have all his assets tracked down now. What if he only discloses certain assets to his lawyer and not all assets? Is his lawyer off the hook ethically but you are harmed? I really dislike that the court only takes a 12 month look back.
Cases with complex asset division are often some of the most contentious cases.
hearlady
Basic Member
- Location
- N Carolina
I can see why you love it!
Trish
VIP OAP
Good for you and you really must make sure you keep to that. Obviously we all want to help loved ones when they need us but, it is important to have time for yourself too.
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
this is precisely the problem The law says he MUST provide all his financial details.. and that is why his lawyer has to arrange a date for the exchange of financial details.. I have to take mine which I've had ready .. and he gets to see mine and I get to see his.. Now..I know what he owns.. at least up until we separated. I also know the value of all of his pensions.. again up until we separated.. and the value of his properties and vehicles that he bought after we separated . I will be able to see if he hasn't declared any of those, and I then have to show these copies to my lawyer and she will advise me after that ...
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
yes this is a horrendous situation that they've allowed to take place, and so without recourse to some serious money to pay lawyers, then most people find themselves screwed financially if their estranged partner has managed to hide their assets and are only legally entitled to show the last years' income.
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
Bless her heart.. she's gonna get through this if only with the thoughts and prayers of her family, and friends all around the world.. of her Big brotherI'm kind of excited today for 2 reasons:
I feed stray and feral cats in my backyard and this new one showed up about 2 weeks ago; basically a kitten not more than 3 months old, 4 at the most. She was scruffy looking, dehydrated, generally unhealthy, and she's an ugly little thing. She started looking pretty good after eating like a freaking horse for a week, but she also started looking pregnant.
She is definitely pregnant. And she's just a kitten, really. Still kind of ugly, but some Tom out there somewhere didn't mind it.
So anyway, I started looking around for a cat trap so I could take her to get spayed, dewormed, and vaccinated and all that, and I found this whole group of cat-trappers who not only trap feral cats, they take them to a clinic to get all that stuff done.
So, 1), a lady is coming this afternoon to trap "Scribbles" (named because it looks like someone scribbled all over her orange face with a black marker), take her to a vet, and then bring her back here. I'll keep her inside for 3 days while she recuperates from an abortion and spay, and then she can go back outside. ...maybe. Depends on how Pixel takes it (my indoor cat). If he's okay with her being kind of ugly and scrappy as hell, she'll stay inside with us.
And, 2) one of you sent Bonnie a small package and a card...and it made her day. Thank you for that.
Bonnie was in the hospital getting the last of 5 radiation treatments, and she'll start chemo therapy on Friday. She had to stay in hosp for all 5 rad treatments, and she'll drive to and from for the chemo. She's super grateful to be getting treatment, finally!, but she was not having a pleasant time of it, as you can imagine.
And then her son took that package in to her. She called me right away, all excited. She kept saying "How did they know? I mean, these are so ME! How did they know?"
She loves them.
Murrmurr
SF VIP
- Location
- Sacramento, California
There's a case here that's fairly recent, I think, where the husband put most of their assets into various accounts in his attorney's name. They got found out, and the attorney lost his license and his client lost the case. Well, they have to have another hearing, but that guy's screwed.
Trish
VIP OAP
It is scary but, remember all you have been through, survived and moved on from. You will soon be free of all the uncertainty and will be able to start building your new life. Having been a worrier in my previous existence, I now try not to cross bridges until I need to. There will come a time when you will need to look at the finances and the future but, for now, you just need to concentrate on getting through what needs to be done now.
I don't know you personally of course but, from what I know of you on here, you are strong. I hope the settlement is fair and you will be able to plan your new life in the not too distant future.
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