How is your day Today, plans and achievements 2024....

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Well..well... well... I can't say how many 'wells''.. what a can of worms have been opened now going forward to the Big D.... what a load of assets that one person think he's hidden, what a lot of bank accounts suddenly don't seem to exist.. nor pensions.... ... I'll say no more than that.. tsk..tsk...
 

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Well, I've been fooling around with some potted plants. Missing my old perennial garden, shrubs and large bay windows with good light.

Ah, but that was then; this is (condo) now.

Outside-
flowers 24.jpg
Geranium, basil, 2 hibiscus and rosemary

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Begonia, Boston fern
 

Jules said:
Obviously he has a pension. How stupid is he or his lawyers, if they looked at his accounting. He is more infuriating every day.
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Oh he's declared One pension...out of the many more I know of... and he's obviously drawn down on that one declared pension and stashed it elsewhere because it has aprox 1/4 of the value it had even 3 years ago when he was still here...
 
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Trish said:
Oh he has been a busy b...... these last couple of years but, I think you would have been surprised if he hadn't.
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I fully expected Trish.. but I didn't know to what extents... I mean I suspected the pensions would be hidden..but I can't believe the audacity of just declaring one bank account... he hasn't even declared his high end Vehicle.. and there's a specific section for that.. for any personal goods worth over £500.. has to be declared... he seems to have forgotten a £30k car
 
Pinky said:
It doesn't have to. My experience with a mediation lawyer was easy .. but then, my ex was/is a fair person.
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see this is the difference mine didn't want anything to do with mediation... and when I spoke to his lawyer today during the Financial exchange process.. I expressed disbelief in what I was reading on his forms..I wasn't specific about what I was disagreeing with obviously... to her.. but she said..''oooh if you disagree with anything then we could get our client to attend mediation''.. I said really.?. that's not what you and he said several months ago when my mediator contacted you, you advised him not to.. .... she started to then try and make excuses about how he wanted to see how this part of the Divorce would go first...

I said nothing... I just thought , they really think they're dealing with an idiot here... and they couldn't be more mistaken..
 
@hollydolly Sounds like you're way ahead of where you thought you'd be. Not exactly sitting in the catbird seat, but close. Good for you.

Sorry about the flood. You can swim, right?

Okay, then. It's been a gorgeous day here. After work I played in the dirt until time to go to the eye doc.

Good news is that there's no hole or tear in the retina; it's just scar tissue from the other repairs. Doc I saw today said I'm cleared to have the cataract surgery and that both eyes can be done at the same time. Yay! That will shorten the recovery time to three weeks instead of six.

Next up is the video appointment on June 21 with the doc who'll do the surgery. It probably won't happen until July or August. In the meantime, I guess I'll just have to live with not being able to see clearly. Drat.

When Sir came in this morning, I asked him to just not even put me on the schedule for next week. He wasn't happy about it, but said he understood. This means starting Sunday (our work week starts on Sundays), it's gonna be a helluva week for him. Sunday and Monday NL is off so he'll have to work alone. I don't feel good about leaving him to deal with everything by himself, but it can't be helped. Either I get a week to myself away from there or I'd have to get all the weeks to myself away from there (I didn't tell Sir that!). I really don't want to quit, so a week off it is.

Sir, deli and store managers have had all they're willing to put up with from Cookie. She's going to be let go, and if her g'mother doesn't like it, oh, well... I don't know when that will happen, maybe not until after next week when I get back.
 
Georgiagranny said:
@hollydolly Sounds like you're way ahead of where you thought you'd be. Not exactly sitting in the catbird seat, but close. Good for you.

Sorry about the flood. You can swim, right?

Okay, then. It's been a gorgeous day here. After work I played in the dirt until time to go to the eye doc.

Good news is that there's no hole or tear in the retina; it's just scar tissue from the other repairs. Doc I saw today said I'm cleared to have the cataract surgery and that both eyes can be done at the same time. Yay! That will shorten the recovery time to three weeks instead of six.

Next up is the video appointment on June 21 with the doc who'll do the surgery. It probably won't happen until July or August. In the meantime, I guess I'll just have to live with not being able to see clearly. Drat.

When Sir came in this morning, I asked him to just not even put me on the schedule for next week. He wasn't happy about it, but said he understood. This means starting Sunday (our work week starts on Sundays), it's gonna be a helluva week for him. Sunday and Monday NL is off so he'll have to work alone. I don't feel good about leaving him to deal with everything by himself, but it can't be helped. Either I get a week to myself away from there or I'd have to get all the weeks to myself away from there (I didn't tell Sir that!). I really don't want to quit, so a week off it is.

Sir, deli and store managers have had all they're willing to put up with from Cookie. She's going to be let go, and if her g'mother doesn't like it, oh, well... I don't know when that will happen, maybe not until after next week when I get back.
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All good news .... yeaahh!(y)
 
I would give a kings ransom to hear him ranting after he read MY financial disclosure... but I don't really need to be there, I know he'll be mad as hell at my ''future need and entitlements''...

he feels very strongly that he should just be allowed to walk away without any responsibility for a 23 year marriage...
 
hollydolly said:
I fully expected Trish.. but I didn't know to what extents... I mean I suspected the pensions would be hidden..but I can't believe the audacity of just declaring one bank account... he hasn't even declared his high end Vehicle.. and there's a specific section for that.. for any personal goods worth over £500.. has to be declared... he seems to have forgotten a £30k car
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I am sure your solicitor will be able to advise the best way forward but, the items you describe are not small "oversights" so I imagine your solicitor will want to challenge his financial disclosure.

I guess he could have swapped the car for a leased vehicle or perhaps a company car? To hide a £30k vehicle and think no one will notice is unbelievably audacious!

Hopefully this nightmare will soon be resolved so you can move on.
 
hollydolly said:
see this is the difference mine didn't want anything to do with mediation... and when I spoke to his lawyer today during the Financial exchange process.. I expressed disbelief in what I was reading on his forms..I wasn't specific about what I was disagreeing with obviously... to her.. but she said..''oooh if you disagree with anything then we could get our client to attend mediation''.. I said really.?. that's not what you and he said several months ago when my mediator contacted you, you advised him not to.. .... she started to then try and make excuses about how he wanted to see how this part of the Divorce would go first...

I said nothing... I just thought , they really think they're dealing with an idiot here... and they couldn't be more mistaken..
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Oh. Hadn't notice this before. Is it just me or does that sound like he was fishing - see if you take the bait and, if not, backtrack to mediation?
 
hollydolly said:
I would give a kings ransom to hear him ranting after he read MY financial disclosure... but I don't really need to be there, I know he'll be mad as hell at my ''future need and entitlements''...

he feels very strongly that he should just be allowed to walk away without any responsibility for a 23 year marriage...
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Face-to-face mediation is what you need to have. I'd like to see him try his bare-faced lies in person :mad:
 
hollydolly said:
I would give a kings ransom to hear him ranting after he read MY financial disclosure... but I don't really need to be there, I know he'll be mad as hell at my ''future need and entitlements''...

he feels very strongly that he should just be allowed to walk away without any responsibility for a 23 year marriage...
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How often I have heard that a marriage certificate is "just a piece of paper". Nope! It's a legal contract!
 
Georgiagranny said:
@hollydolly To quote Sir Walter Scott: "What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive."

ETA: For the kind of money he paid for his solicitor(s), seems like they haven't done a very good job...jussayin'
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well that Walter Scott phrase is used by me in my life on a regular basis since I first heard my mum quote it when I was a kid.. and I thought it again this afternoon when I read his declarations...

I was surprised when I spoke to his Lawyer on the phone, at how young she sounded...
 
Trish said:
Oh. Hadn't notice this before. Is it just me or does that sound like he was fishing - see if you take the bait and, if not, backtrack to mediation?
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see, I don't believe that..I think that was his lawyers saying that to me..I don't think for a second he said he would see how the first part went... I know my husband I know how he reacts when people want anything from him that he sees as rightly HIS.. he reacts with great fury... so when he was offered mediation.. which I had to pay for he turned it down flat...

... but the RUB is that the MIAM can go no further with just one person attending.( you're not in the same room necessarily .. you don't have to be it can all be done by Zoom call, and my first couple were by zoom , and I even explained all this to him face to face.. ).. but because he wouldn't attend they had to issue me a certificate to say I had attended ( which cost me more money) which will be looked on favourably by the judge, and it was explained to him at the time, if he refused to attend MIAM it would be looked at UN favourably in court...


I hope all the lurkers to this are learning a lot if they're thinking of filing for divorce.. :sneaky:
 
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hollydolly said:
see, I don't believe that..I think that was his lawyers saying that to me..I don't think for a second he said he would see how the first part went... I know my husband I know he reacts when people want anything from him that he sees as rightly HIS.. he reacts with great fury... so when he was offered mediation.. which I had to pay for he turned it down flat...

... but the RUB is that the MIAM can go no further with just one person attending.( you're not in the same room necessarily .. you don't have to be it can all be done by Zoom call, and my first couple were by zoom , and I even explained all this to him face to face.. ).. but because he wouldn't attend they had to issue me a certificate to say I had attended ( which cost me more money) which will be looked on favourably by the judge, and it was explained to him at the time, if he refused to attend MIAM it would be looked at UN favourably in court...


I hope all the lurkers to this are learning a lot if they're thinking of filing for divorce.. :sneaky:
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Oh yes! that does make sense now.

Not just the lurkers! I had no idea how messy a divorce could be.
 
Trish said:
Oh yes! that does make sense now.

Not just the lurkers! I had no idea how messy a divorce could be.
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Yes I was just being flippant, it's really as much about allowing people here to know ..and those who are lurking... just how difficult a divorce an be when all we hear in the media is how much easier it is than it was.. the only ''easier part'' that I can see is that you don't have to accuse the other of anything.. (no fault).. but that of course works against you also.. for example in my case where he was physically abusive, I can't use that in court unless I want this to be much more expensive and much more drawn out

if of course there are no children involved and there are no assets to be had.. then yes it is just a matter of filing, and within a year after filing.. and 2 years of separation, , you'll be divorced and that's that.. but most people have either children and or assets .. so it's dirty....
 

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