How would you feel about being barred from entering a club meeting if you were late for it?

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
When we have our local senior's club meeting, there are always 5 or 6 that arrive after the meeting has started. They disrupt the meeting since the director feels she has to jump up and greet them, make sure they are comfortable and seated and get them some refreshments. Some have to juggle oxygen tanks, walkers and wheelchairs which further delays the schedule. Then, just as we're getting back on track, someone else shows up and she had to go through the same procedure.

This can go on anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes after the meeting has started. I am a VERY punctual person and find it annoying to the max when people drift in any old time. It's difficult for me to understand why anyone would be late when the time is clearly advertised. To me it's "This is the time. BANG! I'm there."

I was thinking that when the blurb for the next meeting is announced, that it specifies that no one will be admitted after a certain time - like 5 minutes after the meeting starts. I mentioned this to the director and she thought I was being too critical and that I should make allowances. How would you feel to arrive a few minutes late and find yourself locked out?
 

I think if others in the group feel that this is a regular issue, it should be discussed by the whole group. It sounds like some of folks have mobility issues that makes it hard to get anywhere on time.

As part of a possible solution, maybe the director could ask someone to greet people and help them get seated if they're late so that she doesn't have to do it. Maybe you could help by offering to drive some of these folks who are late so they can be as punctual as you are.
 
It's a seniors club, debodun. Do we know what causes these people to be late? At our church meetings always started on the half hour and people would be late because they would be watching the evening news, or a favourite TV show, and only made a move when it finished. The solution? Instead of starting at 7.30, meetings were scheduled for 7.45. Result, peace and harmony.

I don't think it is worth getting in a tangle about the time the meeting starts. The first 15 minutes could be given over to some refreshments and greetings and when all are settled, the business can begin.

There is a saying that I find wise for moments like these - "Don't sweat the small stuff". If the director isn't fussed, then you should try to stay calm too.
 

bluebreezes said:
Maybe you could help by offering to drive some of these folks who are late so they can be as punctual as you are.
Click to expand...

Or make me as late as they are while I wait for them to get their act together.

Maybe being punctual is as annoying to a chronically late person as late comers are to me.

I remember one time my mother asked me to go with her to her class reunion planning meeting. She diddled and dawdled. I kept reminding her of the time. She finally said, "Don't worry, they can't start until I get there." When we arrived, the meeting was in progress. My mother was infuriated that they started without her being there. She never attended another planning session or the reunion. See where I get it?
 
You can exercise mind over matter, debodun, and choose not to allow yourself to get upset over this.

Another useful technique that I have learnt to use is to ask myself "How much will this matter in a hundred years?"
If the answer is 'not one jot' then it is time to let it slide past without the inner turmoil.

That they are late is their problem. Your problem is letting it upset you.
Which problem do you think you can do something about?
 
I have to admit one of my top pet hates if folks who come late.

I have presided over many volunteer groups over the years and this is not uncommon however I would not go over what has been missed, they can get that from the minutes nor would I be getting seats etc, they can get that themselves, the meeting once called to order should proceed without interruption. I would also get your minute secretary to post lateness as you do with other notations . Present.. then a list of names who arrived on time .. apologies from.. list of names as long as they did let you know of course, absent.. those who did not send apologies.. and latecomers .. and I would mention the time they arrived. I would expect this as chair , if votes are taken and there is not the appropriate list attached, then unanimous is meaningless if folks are not there.


It is harder to preside over a volunteers meeting but if they see their name regularly it may have some effect.

I think I would like to know why they are late, not publicly, eg are they waiting to be picked up and the pick up is late.

These things do matter as sometimes some very expensive and important issues are dealt with at these meetings.

If this is the type of meeting that I believe it to be one at which folks vote then you cannot bar them, but you don't have to disrupt the meeting either.


You could set up at like a dinner , eg 7.30 pm for 8pm
 
debodun said:
When we have our local senior's club meeting, there are always 5 or 6 that arrive after the meeting has started. They disrupt the meeting since the director feels she has to jump up and greet them, make sure they are comfortable and seated and get them some refreshments. Some have to juggle oxygen tanks, walkers and wheelchairs which further delays the schedule. Then, just as we're getting back on track, someone else shows up and she had to go through the same procedure.

This can go on anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes after the meeting has started. I am a VERY punctual person and find it annoying to the max when people drift in any old time. It's difficult for me to understand why anyone would be late when the time is clearly advertised. To me it's "This is the time. BANG! I'm there."

I was thinking that when the blurb for the next meeting is announced, that it specifies that no one will be admitted after a certain time - like 5 minutes after the meeting starts. I mentioned this to the director and she thought I was being too critical and that I should make allowances. How would you feel to arrive a few minutes late and find yourself locked out?
Click to expand...

You may be PUNCTUAL, but you also appear to be very intolerant in recognizing other seniors with disabilities.
 
I wouldn't get all that wrapped up about it. In the end, unless the club is deciding something that will cause a nuclear weapon to be detonated if they don't decide precisely on time, what difference does it really make, anyway? Just start the meeting without them and move on. Life is too short to worry about others being late to a meeting. Back when I was working, I cared if others being late caused me to be late to a subsequent thing -- but if that happened, I just left in time for my next thing. Now that I'm retired, my schedule isn't all that packed, so why worry about it?
 
There is no reason to be late. If you know that you are habitually late,you need to start sooner. I cannot begin to tell you how many disciplinary slips I have issued over the years. When your shift starts at eight,be there at eight not eight o one. My wife used to be habitually late until I just started leaving with out her. I will agree with others that the club is not the end of the world,but I fully understand your dilemma.

It is the height of rudeness and demonstrates how little respect you have for others when you are late!
 
I wouldn't get that upset over it Deb, after all it is a meeting for seniors and some of them may have trouble getting there on time, for whatever reason. Bluebreezes had an excellent idea, instead of disrupting the meeting, someone can be assigned to sit near the door and assist the late-comers while the meeting continues.

I agree with Butterfly, life is too short to stress about these tiny inconveniences. Warri has a good point too, why get upset over their being late, something you have no control over. Better to work on how you react to it, you can control that.

I'm like you, I've always been very reliable and on time. Many times if I have an appointment, I leave early, just in case I run into traffic or something. Same thing when I was working, I got there early just to be sure I wasn't late for start time. But really, locking somebody out if they're 5 minutes late is a little strict there, don't you think? ;)
 
It's a Senior's group. I assume the purpose of the meeting is recreational. As Butterfly intimated, unless you are declaring total nuclear war, punctuality really isn't needed. Since they are always late, there's nothing in the by laws that says you can't arrive late, too. Plan to come after they are settled. Then all of you will arrive at about the same time.
 
Some may no longer drive and depend on others for transportation. If they have disabilities, there could be a number of reasons for their tardiness. I hope you will try not to let this bother you too much--try to accept the things you cannot change. We all have to do this sometimes...
 
If people are late its because they have some sort of trouble getting there, but still want to attend. I think its best to be patient and easygoing with seniors, especially those with walkers and medical paraphernalia who are late. They are adults doing their best, not school kids or in the military, and the meeting is just a seniors group not a meeting of heads of state. The doors should stay open and someone can be assigned to help them get seated and organized. Not worth getting out of wack about it.
 
Sounds the sort of club that I'd steer a course we'll clear of.

Unless the booze was free of course, and the younger members held regular pole dancing exhibitions!
 
Yes, the first time I was barred from entering a meeting because I was a few minutes late would be the last meeting I ever attended. And publicly shaming members for being late? Seriously??? Not a way to keep members or encourage new members to join.
 

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