How would you judge this situation?

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
Say the neighbor 1's kids are playing ball in their backyard and keep hitting or throwing the ball in neighbor 2's yard and keep bothering neighbor 2 by either asking him to throw it back or trespassing on his property to retrieve the ball.

Neighbor 2 had repeatedly asked the kids to play somewhere else or play in a direction that the ball wouldn't be hit or thrown towards his property. His requests have been ignored. Neighbor 2 then went to the parents and spoke to them about it. The only thing he was told was that their kids could play anywhere and do anything they wanted to.

After this, when the ball came sailing over the fence, neighbor 2 retrieved the ball and took it in his house. The kids came over and asked for their ball. Neighbor 2 refused to relinquish it. About 15 minutes later, neighbor 2's doorbell rang again. This time the mother of the kids was there and asked, not very politely, to have the ball back. Neighbor 2 then asked if he returned it, would the kids stop playing in a way that the ball wouldn't come into his yard. The mother reiterated that their kids had a right to play however they wanted, so neighbor 2 said he'd be keeping the ball until they promised not to hit the ball onto his property. The mother then said she was calling the police and pressing charges.

In this instance, who is more correct in their actions? Can the police force neighbor 2 to return the ball? Should neighbor 2 try to find another place for his kids to play?
 

I can imagine how tedious and annoying it would be to have to keep returning footballs , not to mention the potential damage to garden furniture ( lighting and plants for example)

If the neighbour is not willing or is unable to permit the children to retrieve the balls themselves by leaving a gate open, then if it was me I would let the children know that I was unable to keep getting up to retrieve their lost balls, and that they would get them returned at a time that was suitable to me. Say for example..returning the balls back over the fence after dinner, or the next morning.

Children will be children and unfortunately balls do get thrown into gardens sometimes , and if the kids realise that if they're not careful their game will be disrupted for a few hours they may be a little more aware when they're playing.

As for the threat of the police , I know in this country you have to return the balls if they come over the fence, but you don't have to do it a dozen times a day..so an arrangement to return the balls at a specified time once per day , would keep the neighbour (2) on the right side of the law!
 
So much for fences making good neighbors ...

When I was a kid we'd play baseball in our backyard. It was a big yard, fenced with chain-link fencing, and was somewhat elevated above the neighbors yard. At first this didn't stop us from facing the wrong way and hitting the ball into the neighbor's yard, usually into her prized rosebushes.

We'd just sneak into her yard and get the ball, unless she spotted us, in which case we'd get a long, boring lecture. Once or twice she'd rat on us to our mothers, but she wasn't really a favorite of the neighborhood.

What we eventually figured out was to face the other way, so our home runs and foul balls went into the adjacent woods. We lost a few balls that way but it was worth the cost.

In this case I think it would be simplest to do as has been said - return the balls at a pre-arranged time.
 

The mother then said she was calling the police and pressing charges
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First of all, a private citizen doesn't "press charges", as dramatic as that might sound. The Prosecuting Attorney presses charges. Private citizens can complain, but they have no authority to press charges.

Anyone who would call the police about this silliness would deserve the reprimand that the dispatcher or officers would give them for wasting time and taxpayer money. The police and courts have more important things to do than to get involved with kids throwing balls in neighbors yards (accidentally or otherwise) or with moms trying to retrieve them.
 
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If there is nothing in my backyard the kids or their ball can hurt/damage, I'd let them retrieve the ball themselves and maybe even toss another couple I'd buy once in a while out there for them to enjoy. OTOH, if I had a garden/bushes/glass green house that the kids could damage... my backyard would be off limits to them. In that case, check local ordinances. In our area, no trespassing signs with an additional sign stating "Property owner retains any items tossed, thrown, or batted onto private property".

The mother is raising tomorrow's juvenile delinquents. When kids are given no boundaries and told they can do whatever they wish... anywhere they wish... without consequences, these kids will become just like those who ran over the football referee. Yes, the local police have more important things to attend to than unruly mothers and kids. Yet, to have the police visit and tell the kids if they do continue hitting the ball onto private property they will lose the ball, that might show them that mom can't always get them out of trouble.
 
I would keep the ball.... because I have 4 dogs.. Kids coming in and out of my yard would be dangerous as one can never be sure what the dogs will do... and I don't relish the thought of my dogs being let out the gate and running all over the neighborhood. I would have to put a lock on the gate. I also do not have time or the energy to be retrieving the ball for them. Mom would just have to call the police on me.
 
I don't think it would happen more than once with my dogs in the backyard. ... they would think it's a game, and grab the ball and chew it up.

Neighbor 2 should rent a dog for the day!
 
The outcome of this situation is dependent upon the state's, county's or even municipality's laws. Here in PA, there are a couple of choices. First, an officer could speak to the neighbor's having the issue and try to reach a compromise. Of course, the officer would not do this in the presence of both neighbors at the same time, but one at a time. Second, the neighbor could "request" the officer to file a charge of trespassing", but it's unlikely that the officer would be willing to go that far, unless the issue advanced to a confrontational situation. As for who gets the ball, the ball belongs to the neighbor whose backyard it has been thrown or hit into. The neighbor who has the ball going into his backyard could hire a lawyer to request the court for an injunction. But, that will cost him some money, although it will work, if the other neighbor complies. If he does not, then he faces a contempt of court charge being brought against him. I guess that you can see where this is going. It can really get nasty.

These types of domestic squabbles can usually be worked out by the officer. Sometimes it just takes a third person acting as a mediator to settle these issues. The only other option would be for the neighbor to keep collecting the balls and not answer the door, if it's the neighbor.

I have seen some pretty nasty neighbor on neighbor situations develop over some really silly stuff.
 
I lived once on the third floor of a building and had a large balcony along the front, which my dog spent a lot of time on. I came down the street and saw two young boys shooting arrows up at my dog. When I asked them what the hell they were doing, they claimed that they had "accidently" shot several arrows up on my balcony and wanted them back. Accidently? Several times? I said no and went into the building. When I went out on the balcony there were four arrows....the dog had chewed on two of them and I gave him the other two to chew on.

A while later, one of the moms rang my bell and demanded the arrows. I gave her the chewed up arrows, told there that there was no way in hell the boys could have "accidently" shot four of them up on my balcony and it was obvious that they had been aiming at my dog. She said I needed to replace the arrows. I told her she needed to have a good talk with her sons about animal cruelty and I shut the door in her face. Didn't hear from her again.
 
911 said:

I have seen some pretty nasty neighbor on neighbor situations develop over some really silly stuff.
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Wellllll, sure. It happens. :shrug:

But it would have to be a complaint with more substance than calling the police and saying “My son’s ball landed in my neighbor’s yard and she won’t give it back”.

Several years ago an acquaintance was sharing a house with someone. Tension developed over ‘whatever’ and they stopped talking. Then one housemate started screaming and physically blocked the other from leaving until she agreed to “talk”. So the other housemate went upstairs to her room and called the police because she feared escalation to the point of an assault. Officer came and spoke with each – separately. From what I heard, he told them if he had to come back someone was going to jail. :laugh:
 
Obviously the kids throwing the ball repeatedly into the neighbor's yard can't expect the neighbor to fetch it for them time after time. Once maybe, twice at the most. Next time, let it stay where it lands and don't let the kids run in and get it each time either as that would be very disturbing. Make them wait to get the ball back, as Phil says, maybe then they will be more careful, or play somewhere else where there is more space, a park perhaps? The mom sounds like a nut job.
 
We once had a similar situation, but it was worse than just having balls land in our yard. We moved into a new neighborhood, where the previous owner of our house had a kid who enjoyed having all his
neighborhood friends over every day to play ball. Once they moved away and we moved in, the other kids apparently decided that our yard was a public park, and kept coming there to play on our lawn. We
asked them pleasantly a few times to leave, then not so pleasantly. We didn't want the liability, or the damage to our yard. It precipitated a lot of neighborhood unpleasantness, some of the parents were truly horrible, and we stayed there for about 2 years and then moved to friendlier surroundings.

In Debudon's case, it sounds like it's about a lot more than just keeping a ball or two. The mother of these kids is clearly using the issue as a battleground.
 
I had a 20 something neighbor across the alley from me when I lived in San Diego. He was a motorcycle club guy and they constantly created a nuisance in the alley on my property adjacent to the actual pavement, they would deliberately kick the fence to tease my dog, etc. I talked to him several times and got the OkeyDokey routine.

One day they ran a motorcycle into my fence. I called the PD and a couple of cars came over and we talked, they suggested an arrest. I went with the officers knocked on the guys door, arrested him and he went to court and was given 5 days in Jail. He had several priors for various offenses. He got out of jail, came over and apologized. I sold and moved a little later (previously planned). But before I moved one morning, my car wouldn't start, this guy, Ivan, came across the alley, saw my problem went and got his truck, boosted my battery and got me going. How 'bout them apples?
 
Very nice of him to do that for you and how interesting that he seemed to have learned something from the whole experience? I find that almost bizarre and thought you were going to end your story with references to vandalism and such! How unique!
 
applecruncher said:
First of all, a private citizen doesn't "press charges", as dramatic as that might sound. The Prosecuting Attorney presses charges. Private citizens can complain, but they have no authority to press charges.

Anyone who would call the police about this silliness would deserve the reprimand that the dispatcher or officers would give them for wasting time and taxpayer money. The police and courts have more important things to do than to get involved with kids throwing balls in neighbors yards (accidentally or otherwise) or with moms trying to retrieve them.
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Applecruncher took the words right out of my mouth. So I will just comment on the ball. After the 2nd time that ball would have went in my garbage and they would have played hell ever getting it back. In fact, I'm sure we would have put it in our car and taken it for a "ride", probably to a neighborhood park.

And Jim, your neighbor in San Diego was a very rare guy to have learned something from a few days in jail. Good for him.
 
We had this problem once - the kids were OK but we have always had dogs and so a secure yard so they couldn't come into our yard and I wouldn't like the thought of them having free access to our property - we just told them every time we found a ball we would just throw them back - they were happy with that but I would suggest attaching a fence topper.
 
applecruncher said:
Anyone who would call the police about this silliness would deserve the reprimand that the dispatcher or officers would give them for wasting time and taxpayer money.
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A similar situation happened to a woman I know. A big pick-up truck parked in front of her garage, blocking the door. She confronted the man and asked him to move it. He said he'd move it when he was good and ready. The woman noticed some boots in the bed of the truck and grabbed one and told the man he'd get it back when he moved the truck. The man didn't call the local cops or the sheriff, he went right to the state police! She was arrested, booked and released and they forced her to return the boot.
 
Not a similar situation at all.. That woman actually stole the boot out of his truck so she was guilty of theft. There is no obligation to give back something thrown or batted onto your private property.

Here's another solution... put on a pair of gloves and rub the ball in doggie poo.... then toss it back over the fence.. lol!! You can always say it bounced in the poo... Oh well... you would be under no obligation to wash it off...
 
I am reminded of my one daughters favorite movie "Matilda". Those kids should be locked in "The Chokey".
Honestly in my city calling the police is like an epidemic for every problem anyone could have.

I think the neighbor 2 was in the right and I abhor parents who do not teach their children respect. Mom should have been polite and told the neighbor the kids would not do it again and left. Then the kids should have been told about respect for others and their property and tell the kids they can either play differently or not at all.
 
debodun said:
A similar situation happened to a woman I know. A big pick-up truck parked in front of her garage, blocking the door. She confronted the man and asked him to move it. He said he'd move it when he was good and ready. The woman noticed some boots in the bed of the truck and grabbed one and told the man he'd get it back when he moved the truck. The man didn't call the local cops or the sheriff, he went right to the state police! She was arrested, booked and released and they forced her to return the boot.
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He would have had a keyed truck and flat tires if he said that to me.

"Oops! Oh, well ... must have been those darned kids!"
 

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