Husband Wants To Name Their Unborn Daughter After His Deceased Wife

OneEyedDiva

OneEyedDiva

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And his wife is very upset by this. Especially since his family agrees with him and she's feeling pressure to do so. The wife said he also keeps pictures of him and his late wife visible in the house. Many respondents on Reddit understand her being upset, therefore agree with her. Some suggested he needs to get counseling because he obviously has unresolved grief issues. I would also be upset by this suggestion and might not appreciate seeing pictures of him and her around as I moved about the house. What do you think about this?
https://igvofficial.com/husband-tel...heir-unborn-daughter-after-his-deceased-wife/
 

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OneEyedDiva said:
And his wife is very upset by this. Especially since his family agrees with him and she's feeling pressure to do so. The wife said he also keeps pictures of him and his late wife visible in the house. Many respondents on Reddit understand her being upset, therefore agree with her. Some suggested he needs to get counseling because he obviously has unresolved grief issues. I would also be upset by this suggestion and might not appreciate seeing pictures of him and her around as I moved about the house. What do you think about this?
https://igvofficial.com/husband-tel...heir-unborn-daughter-after-his-deceased-wife/
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I see a lot of future problems in this relationship, if the relationship even lasts.
 
Oh Boy! This is one "hot potato!" My wife died just over 4 months ago so I think I should respond here. I never believed in all those group therapy sessions that seem so popular in movies. Guess, being a good ole' country boy I have learned to take care of my self. I really loved my wife & there will never be another like her. She was my soul mate in pretty well everything. However, we all have to move on. Life is short & being married to a dead person is really not very much fun. Anyway, I have watched over 30 videos about widow/widower dating. I have learned much from watching Abel Keogh. Check this guy out; he is good:

https://www.abelkeogh.com/blog/category/Widower+Wednesday

I could write pages but I'll be brief. Anyone who keeps photos of his dead wife/husband is not ready to into a new relationship. Most widowers marry within 1 year. Most widows take 5 years before they marry again. These are the facts & there are always exceptions to the rule. Sounds like this man has no feelings for his new wife. He should side with his wife. The relatives need to "butt out" & mind their own business. I feel sorry for this woman because she chose poorly. This man is not prepared for a new relationship. Keeping photos of his dead wife on the walls is a definite red flag for any woman. This man is still grieving & he needs time to be alone.
 
Aunt Marg said:
I see things differently, Pepper.

There would had to have been strong cues present in relation to the mans ways and means from the very start, so either the wife went into the relationship blindly, or she was awfully naïve.
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Or desperate...............
Talk to me about the name, I'd like to hear what you say.
 
Pepper said:
Or desperate...............
Talk to me about the name, I'd like to hear what you say.
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Yes, or desperate.

As for the man wanting to name the baby after his deceased wife, the relationship isn't strong enough for it.

I'm never surprised by todays methodology behind relationships and marriages, where couples seemingly jump into the fire with both feet, and then one of the pair decides that they are going to change the other.
 
Aunt Marg said:
Yes, or desperate.

As for the man wanting to name the baby after his deceased wife, the relationship isn't strong enough for it.

I'm never surprised by todays methodology behind relationships and marriages, where couples seemingly jump into the fire with both feet, and then one of the pair decides that they are going to change the other.
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While that may be so the issue is not a prodigy of today's methodology but one that comes deeply from past morality more than present. IMO
 
Aunt Marg said:
I don't know, I see a changing of morals related to past vs present, with today's present being the weakness.
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This could just as easily have happened 50 years ago.

If I'd somehow made this marital mistake I'd rectify it in a hurry by either demanding he receive counseling tout de suite, or moving out.

@Butterfly hit the nail on the head. This is a "menage a trois with one of the participants a dead woman."
 
Aunt Marg said:
I see things differently, Pepper.

There would had to have been strong cues present in relation to the mans ways and means from the very start, so either the wife went into the relationship blindly, or she was awfully naïve.
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It's possible that she thought a baby would represent a new start and bring them closer together.
 
Not only is this a nightmare situation for the new wife, imagine the strange expectations that child will have placed on her.
 
Packerjohn said:
Oh Boy! This is one "hot potato!" My wife died just over 4 months ago so I think I should respond here. I never believed in all those group therapy sessions that seem so popular in movies. Guess, being a good ole' country boy I have learned to take care of my self. I really loved my wife & there will never be another like her. She was my soul mate in pretty well everything. However, we all have to move on. Life is short & being married to a dead person is really not very much fun. Anyway, I have watched over 30 videos about widow/widower dating. I have learned much from watching Abel Keogh. Check this guy out; he is good:

https://www.abelkeogh.com/blog/category/Widower+Wednesday

I could write pages but I'll be brief. Anyone who keeps photos of his dead wife/husband is not ready to into a new relationship. Most widowers marry within 1 year. Most widows take 5 years before they marry again. These are the facts & there are always exceptions to the rule. Sounds like this man has no feelings for his new wife. He should side with his wife. The relatives need to "butt out" & mind their own business. I feel sorry for this woman because she chose poorly. This man is not prepared for a new relationship. Keeping photos of his dead wife on the walls is a definite red flag for any woman. This man is still grieving & he needs time to be alone.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I will say that I disagree about getting rid of the pictures of the deceased wife. She's part of the person's past. But they should be kept in a box with those of one's parents and grand parents.

I would divorce this husband. He does not love or respect her.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
And his wife is very upset by this. Especially since his family agrees with him and she's feeling pressure to do so. The wife said he also keeps pictures of him and his late wife visible in the house. Many respondents on Reddit understand her being upset, therefore agree with her. Some suggested he needs to get counseling because he obviously has unresolved grief issues. I would also be upset by this suggestion and might not appreciate seeing pictures of him and her around as I moved about the house. What do you think about this?
https://igvofficial.com/husband-tel...heir-unborn-daughter-after-his-deceased-wife/
Click to expand...
This guy is nuts, pure and simple. His family is also nuts for encouraging this nonsense. When I told my wife about this situation she asked if we were standing at the checkout counter reading the headlines of one of those crackpot news rags.

Two things are certain: that marriage should never have happened, and there is no shortage of crazy people these days.
 
I agree with Aunt Marge. The relationship doesn't seem to be strong enough to carry this.
The husband is not being sensitive to his wife's concerns.
Sad.
 

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