I feel your pain in your words. You have wonderful communication skills and good sense and things are going to get better for you but it will take time, maybe a long time to recover from the horrible shock and loss you've suffered. The only think I can say is take each day as it comes and try to get through it. Perhaps look for one positive thing each day. I mean a positive thing about your life or living. I know how hard this is.
I lost my baby sister the same way but many years ago. I feel tears welling up inside still when I think of her but the shock is mostly gone now. I'm keeping you in my prayers and sending healing vibes to you. You are loved by so many and with them/us you will find your way again.