i did hurt my husband because of sport..

isabella49

isabella49

New Member
Hello my name is Isabelle. I am sorry for that terrible english but as you did guess it's not my native language...

I am married since more than 20 years.Im a beautician and my hubby is an ex military and a bit macho.All is great but with the job and daily things to do I struggle to get some time with my husband. To fix that, we did decide to make some sport together. What was the more complicated was to find a sport that can fit for both of us. I wanted salsa or a dance sport but he refuses, he wants tennis but i hate racket sport... So finally after hours of search and discussion he proposed me judo. I first refuse it but because I see we were blocked I said ok let's try it...

Finally, after 5 lessons, we both had fun going there. I had the feeling to improve and feel really good practicing. We were on the same club, same training but we had our partner for the "fight part" in the end of the lesson.

Last week, my partner was away so just before the fight part my hubby look at me with a "challenging smile". He ask me to try it with him. I am a bit taller but we have same weight and he is an ex military so sure let's do it!

He tease me a bit telling me he'll show me who's my boss...
We hang each other kimono and turn around. I pull his sleeve, to the left, to the right, I straighten my leg out and fall on him to the ground. He struggle to escape but I pin him and count to 5 (we need to pin the opponent 5 sec to win). his face was all redand while I help him to get up I can't hide myself from smiling.
Now he seems really focus and we start again. I still smile while he seems really serious. I pull his kimono again and got him the exact same way. On the ground I sit on his chest and block his arm. I bend him and stare at him waiting for his submission. He seems to refuse at first but by bending more he tap 3 times the ground. I get up and prepare for the 3rd round but he walk and sit on a bank, waiting for the end of the lesson...

He asked me to drive and I struggle to not have the bizarre silence that can sometimes happen. He just say nothing and i make a monologue about housework or whatever. Seems that he told me he doesnt want to go there anymore. I laugh a bit at first asking him if it's because I beat him but he answer me aggressivly that no, he just think it's suck.

Seems that, I haven't talk to him about that anymore but he look different, like he worry about something or i don't know. He's so cold with me, never laugh and seems even a bit depress...

I really didn't want to hurt him or whatever and now I don't know how can I fix that.

Do you have an idea?
 

Isabella——-I am a recently retired state trooper in Pennsylvania. I learned some parts of a few different types of martial arts while in the Marines and also during my years as a Trooper.

When I first began learning Judo, an Instructor from the FBI Academy taught my first few classes. The Instructor was a female. When she asked for a volunteer, of course, I stepped up. She demonstrated a maneuver known as a shoulder throw. Before I knew it, I was lying flat on my back. Back then, my height was 6’2” and I weighed about 180 pounds. She probably weighed about 135 pounds, but I was no match for her.

My point here is that size and weight doesn’t exactly mean much in martial arts. It’s all about skill, technique and knowledge. Having confidence and keeping your mind focused on the job at hand is also equally important.

Maybe if you explained to your better half that it was knowledge and skill that allowed you to put the move on him and not so much size, he would understand that he needs to practice and concentrate the next time. It’s not a street fight. It’s all in the mind and technique.

Not too awful long ago, there was a martial arts Sensei on this forum. He could and would have given you better advice than me, but maybe you should let him read these posts. He needs to get over it and practice if he wishes to get better.
 
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I used to wrestle with my brothers when they were in high school, I was about 24 yrs old.
Both were much larger and heaver than I, but I was fast and much more agile. I did not have the strength to pin for the count, but they couldn't get a good grip on me so could not pin me at all.

Size and weight often times have little to do with ability. Talk to your husband, try to stay calm when he shows his anger at losing. Maybe try tennis, you will beat him at that as well.
 
Floridatennisplayer said:
Are you all being trolled? I mean who posts this kind of stuff on their first post?

No Hello...my name is.....I’m from.....nice to be here.....here’s a little about me...etc.

Zero info on profile page.
Click to expand...

I considered that, but since I don’t have access to the OP’s IP’s address, I decided to give it a shot anyway. Besides, no harm can come from this type of post.
 
Floridatennisplayer said:
Remember the 2 sweet ladies that joined in March? Posted pics ....... attractive ladies of course. One divorced one widow... of course. After 2 weeks both were banned. Both from same IP. Probably a guy as well.

I read that.....After a while of befriending people the sob story will start and then the pm’s asking if you could help them out.

Just beware.
Click to expand...
Yes, I recall 2 new ladies joining and then disappearing.
 
A buddy of mine is a moderator on a tennis forum I frequent.

Amazing how a “very pretty “ lady will start posting..... with a few pics. The guys start falling all over themselves to help her. Poor girl having problems with her backhand stroke. Of course after a week she is so thankful for the tips and now she is playing great again.

Then the pm’s start with about 5 guys telling them how wonderful they are to have helped her. Then the back and forth and so called relationships start. And wouldn’t you know it....she just lost her job and is about to get evicted. Could you help me out?

Then the mods break in and let these guys know they are being scammed buy some guy in Russia
 
isabella49 said:
So finally after hours of search and discussion he proposed me judo. I first refuse it but because I see we were blocked I said ok let's try it...

I really didn't want to hurt him or whatever and now I don't know how can I fix that.
Do you have an idea?
Click to expand...
I have an idea
Skipping the details of how you bested him. Propose something that won't bruise his ego. Maybe competitive knitting.
 
Floridatennisplayer said:
A buddy of mine is a moderator on a tennis forum I frequent.

Amazing how a “very pretty “ lady will start posting..... with a few pics. The guys start falling all over themselves to help her. Poor girl having problems with her backhand stroke. Of course after a week she is so thankful for the tips and now she is playing great again.

Then the pm’s start with about 5 guys telling them how wonderful they are to have helped her. Then the back and forth and so called relationships start. And wouldn’t you know it....she just lost her job and is about to get evicted. Could you help me out?

Then the mods break in and let these guys know they are being scammed buy some guy in Russia
Click to expand...

Do you watch the ATP as well as play yourself?
 
Floridatennisplayer said:
Are you all being trolled? I mean who posts this kind of stuff on their first post?

No Hello...my name is.....I’m from.....nice to be here.....here’s a little about me...etc.

Zero info on profile page.
Click to expand...
Then recently also we had a female new poster, saying how she'd found a nice forum telling us about her and her husband , etc... then 2nd post from ''her'' we were all ''treated'' to a full frontal picture of his revolting *******s!! 😩
 
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hollydolly said:
Then recently also we had a female new postrt, saying how she'd found a nice forum telling us about her and her husband , etc... then 2nd post from ''her'' we were all ''treated'' to a full frontal picture of his revolting *******s!! 😩
Click to expand...

Gosh, I need to pay more attention to the intro posts. LOL. Not really. Was that the one a while back when the guy was posting pics of his wife and "showing off" her nice ta tas?
 
While on the topic of possible trolls, what about the person in THIS thread, about the pain meds and urine? Lots of helpful folks have been giving her suggestions and she has not responded, though she has been checking in, as recently as a couple hours ago, Maybe embarrassment? Not sure what to say? I like being helpful, but not if they do not respond.
https://www.seniorforums.com/thread...e-of-selling-my-pain-meds.43050/#post-1109946
 
Are you all serious? I troll because I introduce myself before I explain my problem? I troll because even if im not an English Speaker I try to make it clear enough to be understood? I Am thé one who troll when you just have fun of me coming to my first thread to put your Own story? Is it confortable for you as a group of friends to just have fun of someone you Don't know? What kind of person are you?

Thanks for the few person who did give me their opinion
 
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