I had to be blunt

G

grannyjo

Member
I've finally had to be very blunt to my niece.

Harking back quite a while, she's the one who "loves to drive and visit family". Mostly uninvited and tend to plaster herself onto the unfortunate recipient of her visit.

She told me that she was buying a home within a 3 hour drive of my home, so that she could visit every few months.

I did not want that to happen, so I finally told her that I did not enjoy being visited.

She has no friends, and depends on family - no matter how distant the family member may be. My stepbrother's grandchild was one she visited for a week. They expected her to stay only overnight.

Not really a problem to solve, just a bit of a vent.
 

Good job. You prevented future frustration and upset for yourself. Being blunt now means you don't need to be blunt later. At least I hope she got the clue, some super selfish people don't. If she wants to visit just tell her you are not available or just don't want company.
 
How sad for your niece to be so socially awkward that she doesn't know when it's time to leave. I know a couple of people like that, though they don't come for overnights. Perish the thought.

When people overstay in the evening or are the last ones remaining at a party but show no sign of exiting, hubby and I will say things like, "Let me wrap up a few leftovers for you." While doing so, we comment on how nice it was to see them again. Then we start moving them toward the door.

Nobody's feelings have ever been noticeably hurt, which leads me to believe that we're not the first to employ those strategies.
 
So, she has no friends or family. She likes to come and visit with you once in a while. She's your niece.......and this bothers you? And you had to set her straight?

I feel bad for her that she's treated this way. My nieces can visit us anytime, any day, without a required notice, as long as they want.
 
Speaking of being blunt. When my kids ask my opinion, I don't beat around the bush nor sugar-coat it. I feel I should be honest and straight forward with them so I'm real. But....

I finally realized, with one child in particular, that she doesn't really want my opinion. She's already made up her mind, and only wants validation. I told her once not to ask my opinion because I can't be less than truthful...but she still does it.

And she doesn't want my opinion to be laced with even the slightest touch of negativity. So I've begun to delicately reword my opinion to avoid that train wreck 🥴
 
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Floridatennisplayer said:
So, she has no friends or family. She likes to come and visit with you once in a while. She's your niece.......and this bothers you? And you had to set her straight?

I feel bad for her that she's treated this way. My nieces can visit us anytime, any day, without a required notice, as long as they want.
Click to expand...
You obviously don't know the history about Grannyjo's niece. She's a clueless and rude moocher who has no boundaries and overstays her welcome at everyone she visits. She expects to be fed and waited on way past the normal stay. Read up about it.
https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/ive-had-enough.37141/
Grannyjo, I'm glad you've finally grown a spine, I hope you keep it up. If she comes to town and wants to see you, just meet her at a restaurant and if she wants to stay at your place tell her you like your privacy. I've wondered about you and the niece many times.
 


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